He's done it before but I haven't. I'm not sure if it's for me. I kind of think you do that after you have a long established relationship, if at all. My thought is that if he loves me, why is it so important to have other people in our bed? I can fantacise about it and be turned on, but I don't have much desire to be with anyone but him or of the same sex. I've been told and consider myself a very sexual person, but bringing others in not only sounds like a health risk but it also adds many elements that could be problematic. I've already been exposed to STD's and don't need any more problems there, I want to keep having sex! Maybe I'm looking at this too negatively? Is it worth doing?
2007-03-02 01:56:44 · 28 answers · asked by susan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get a new boy friend. This one is a looser!
2007-03-02 01:59:10 · answer #1 · answered by Texan 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Bravo for you madam. I admit that the fantasy of a sexual tryst such as you've mentioned is exciting but I agree with you...these type of "relationships", if you can call it that, usually lead to some problems in the future. You're correct in your statement that if he loves you why allow a third party into your bed.
Keep right on having sex with your boyfriend and keep making it clear that this is something you choose not to do. If he really loves you and respects you than he'll let this go. If he persists then for whatever reason he isn't getting your message because he chooses not to and this thing is much more important to him than your opinion and obviously your feelings as well.
I wouldn't say "dump him". Its a perfectly legitimate for couples to discuss their sexual likes and dislikes. How else can lines of communication stay open? Especially with the sensitive and ultra-personal subect of sex.
You keep standing your ground. If you don't feel comfortable with it don't give in. If you fold on something you're taking a stand on then the next time around who knows what will be tossed out? And it doesn't have to be of a sexual nature either. Give an inch in some respects and you may find yourself losing ground on alot of things you would have ordinarily dug your heels in on.
2007-03-02 02:38:00 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well alot of guys have those fantasies. But hes already done it..so its not just for the experience....maybe hes missing something. Or maybe he really just likes the thought of 2 girls in bed with him...so that would either make him a player, or a pig! He should be happy with just you,... you should be all he can handle. If you're not enough for him than you need to get out while you can! Seriously...what if he wants it bad enough that he will cheat adn go get it somewhere else. My bf has mentioned it but once I told him I wasnt really all into that, he backed off and now he says All i need is you! So, is your man worth keeping? Can you work it out? No...its not worth doing..you do not have to be pressured into anything you dont want to do, especially by your bf!! He should not make you feel that way... so its uop to you what to do from here.
2007-03-02 02:05:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not worth to put your life at risk just for a one night stand. You would never know who's down with STD, and even though many people still take the risk, most end up with the disease. Don't ruin your life just for a night of fun, your life is more important than a relationship that isn't treasured by your boyfriend. If he treasures the relationship between you two, he wouldn't have even thought of m.p.s. He would want you as his own and no one else.
2007-03-02 02:02:40 · answer #4 · answered by Soaring 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it! You are not ready, and probably never will be. Just tell him NO, and that is your final word. Tell him you love him, and only want to have sex with him, and if he doesn't feel the same way, maybe the two of you should move on without each other. That will be difficult, but it will be far easier then the emotional turmoil you will go through if forced to do something like this for him. Tell him to watch a movie, fantacize, but it will never happen with you, and hopefully he can live with that.
Just stand your ground, and best of luck to you.
2007-03-02 02:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"he's not keen to attend more suitable than a week for sex..." won't be able to assert I blame him, to be trustworthy. No, sex should not be a chore. yet when it truly takes you weeks to get into the mood, you likely could get regarded at by technique of a well being care service, or parent out what could help get you grew to develop into on (except no longer being pawed each and each of the time, which i'm guessing may advance issues), or reset your expectancies so as that sex could properly be such issues as "interesting" or "comforting" and in no way only "warm and stunning." If none of that works, or if he nonetheless considers something below assembly his needs on an familiar foundation unacceptable, then it may only be that your drives are too incompatible to make this artwork.
2016-12-05 03:38:43 · answer #6 · answered by cheathem 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So far most of the answers are ok, you have to figure out if its something you would even feel comfortable doing, second I would start asking if he wants to bring in another woman, or a man, if he's not open to other men, then maybe he's just looking to be with other women without getting in trouble, that would be a sure sign of trouble coming.
2007-03-02 02:11:38 · answer #7 · answered by George G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read what you just wrote and you know it is not worth doing. Stand your ground and just say NO and that you are not into it.
If it causes a breakup...well, then he was not meant for you anyways.
There are lots of guys out there that feel just like you do and don't want anyone else in their bed but the person they love too.
Be strong and stand your ground. Don't compromise your beliefs for someone else...if he loves you he will stop putting the pressure on you to do this.
be cool...
2007-03-02 02:02:08 · answer #8 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honey, to me it would cheapen the relationship. Think about it...if you are his only interest then why want a bizarre situation to dilute your relationship? What on earth could a third party ad to the mix except cheap excitement for him. And one other thought, you do not seem too keen about it anyway so why would you compromise your own moral code and ethic? To be honest, I'd think twice about staying with him/it.
2007-03-02 02:05:14 · answer #9 · answered by J.M.C 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, if you're not comfortable with it, you're not comfortable with it. Just because you're a very sexual person doesn't mean you are or should be comfortable with all kinds of sex. Not wanting a threesome does not mean that you are some sort of prude and some things are best kept to fantasy because in real life it's not nearly as exciting.
2007-03-02 02:01:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
You seem to have thought this out quite efficiently. If its still not for you then your man will HAVE to understand. If he cant get past it maybe he isnt the right man for you. Maybe he needs someone willing to give him what he needs. It seems silly to me for him to absolutely need this one particular thing when there is a whole menu of things that he could enjoy with you equally as much.
2007-03-02 02:04:52 · answer #11 · answered by Devdude 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋