My husband and I have had a lot of problems even to the point to where we took a week away from each other (more his idea than mine). Things are going great so far. We've been back together for 3 weeks now. I lost a lot of confidence in myself and our relationship. I need some suggestions on how to get my confidence in myself and the way he feels for me back???...
2007-03-02 01:38:24 · 11 answers · asked by Dsoftball 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I read some of your previous questions and I see that you didn't have much confidence or self-esteem before the week-long separation. Before this guy, you had a crack in that self-esteem. He is slowly prying it wider as time goes by. This is how an abuser works, and you are playing right into his hands, giving him more and more control over you. The only cure is to say, "I am going to live my life as I see fit. I love you and I want you to stay, but if you can't let me be who I am, there's the door. I will not grant you such power over me."
2007-03-02 07:45:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been married? Was there any infidelity?
Marriage is the hardest job a person can have. People think that the love a couple has is enough...well it isn't. My best advice is talk to your husband. Good COMMUNICATION is the key to a happy and successful marriage. Just by talking to your husband about the way you are feeling will make you feel better. Plus, if he is aware of how you feel then he should in turn find ways to help rebuild that level of trust and show you that his feeling are genuine.
I have been married for 10 years to my high school sweetheart...we have no children yet. It has been a long sometimes bumpy road to get this far. We took a month "off" in the 2nd year we were married. It was probably the best thing we could have done, because it forced us to either make up or break up! Now that we know what it feels like to be without each other we know that we don't want to be without each other.
2007-03-02 09:55:47 · answer #2 · answered by sassypants_911 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's still a fresh wound so wanting to race back to your old self is not really going to happen, you've experienced some things that have given you a different slant on your relationship now and you are no longer the same person you were before this happened, neither is he.
Take it slowly, expect bumps along the way, you can forgive but you can't forget...that's how it goes unfortunately. Work on what you still have and as long as you are able to move past the hurt of the past, you should soon be back on track emotionally as well where your confidence and self esteem are concerned.
This is a tough thing to get through sometimes...time will help, so take it and don't pressure yourself to be back to your old self so quickly...it took time to cause the problem, it will take time to heal it.
Good luck to both of you
2007-03-02 09:45:05 · answer #3 · answered by dustiiart 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry dear but the only thing on this earth that will make you feel more confident about your relationship is feeling secure in it. The only person who has the power to make you feel secure about his love is....him. Unless you BOTH are working on the problems that led you to split, you will never feel secure that it won't happen again. I know that is an awful feeling to always be wondering if the next day he will decide you need more time apart or worse, a divorce. I truly wish you the best, dear, and I hope he realizes how you feel and wants to work on the marriage with you.
2007-03-02 09:46:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your looking to hubby for this and that's not where you'll find it. The one that has always helped me is to ask God to help. Things were not going right with me and my ex-husband, but i did'nt know what to do - I just knew I felt sad and it was'nt going away . I now believe the answer was that I needed to not be with him anymore. It was spoiled. Trust is deadly issue with some people and if it's broke- sometimes the only way to get over it is to get away from that person permently. I don't know if ya'll's deal is that ruined, but I think if you don't seem to be getting any happier- the problem is not you and your confidence- it's him.
2007-03-02 10:07:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i know what you are talking about the same thing happened with me and my hubby. But he was having an affair with a woman at work. He put me down all the time to make him feel better about seeing her. But now things are better its been 10 months now and we are going away for a few days alone without our children. What we did was talked about everything even though a lot of what we talked about hurt so much. I think talking is the only way to feel better.
2007-03-02 09:49:31 · answer #6 · answered by Jinxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to TAKE THAT'S - PATIENCE
Just have a little patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost,
I'm feeling your frustration.
Any minute all the pain will stop.
Just hold me close inside your arms tonight,
don't be too hard on my emotions
(Chorus)
Cause I need time.
My heart is numb, has no feeling.
So while I'm still healing,
Just try and have a little patience.
I really wanna start over again,
I know you wanna be my salvation.
The one that I can always depend.
I'll try to be strong. Believe me,
I'm trying to move on,
It's complicated but understand me.
Cause I need time,
My heart is numb, has no feeling,
So while I'm still healing,
Just try and have a little patience, Yeah
have a little patience, Yeah
Cause these scars run so deep,
It's been hard,
But I have to believe in me.
Have a little patience,
Have a little patience,
Woah, Cause I, I just need time,
My heart is numb, has no feeling,
So while I'm still healing,
just try, and have a little patience,
have a little patience,
My heart is numb, has no feeling,
So while I'm still healing,
just try and have a little... Patience
and when you've done that listen to SHINE....
http://www.lyricsdrive.com/lyrics/take-that/672369/shine/
best of luck and remember
"it may be raining but there's a rainbow above you !"
2007-03-02 09:46:42 · answer #7 · answered by tomski 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hun, marriage takes work and compromise. just be yourself dont try to change who you are, and dont try to change him either. look back at what drew you to him and what it was about him that made you happy. some times a break can be a good thing. set a day aside each week where its just you and him, a date night type of thing. and find something you can do that make you feel good, some kind of hobbie or something.
2007-03-02 09:44:39 · answer #8 · answered by sunnybrook19 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, do not think about what he had done during that week when you were apart. Dont allow it to haunt you. 2ndly, do a quick getaway together and to a place where both of you never been to. It would help to place yourself outside of your usual routine and make you feel different about yourself/each other.
2007-03-02 09:42:35 · answer #9 · answered by pheurie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don know
have a pow wow. if he's not puttin cards on the table, he's got somethin cookin in the back ovens u don know bout.
if that's the case go see the doc
2007-03-02 09:45:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋