So my brother studied abroad last semester and met a girl in Ecuador. I'm sure she's nice but the family is very upset. She doesn't speak any English and our Spanish is mediocre at best. He's only 21, freshly graduated, living with my mom and no real job yet. His plan is to marry her, work on the visa process, get a job, move out and then bring her here.
2007-03-02 01:14:06 · 15 answers · asked by sugarcarat 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So you are his sister . He is 21 years old and obviously not under YOUR jurisdiction . What are your/his parents doing at this point .Tearing their hair out and generally feeling miserable about it ? That's about all you can do . Makes no difference as he is in love with this girl and no amount of talking can change his mind, I bet .
So, be a good sister and step back and leave him be . You told him what you feel and now it is time to quit . It is her business to learn to speak English and not yours to learn Spanish . If she comes here she better be prepared and if she has any savvy at all no doubt will know how to communicate .
If he were my son, he would have been raised to know that in or der for him to marry he would have to be employed and living on his own. There is absolutely no way he could dump a daughter-in-law on old mom and still be living at home. Get that fact across to your brother and mean it .
The way you wrote the question it looks like he is doing everything a*** backwards .
First a job, etc. marriage is at the very last end . If he still loves her !
Hope he listens , if not it's his life , he can ruin it any way he likes.
Harsh but true .
2007-03-02 01:38:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your intentions are truly to help your brother, then express your concerns to him. Let him know you think he should wait until he is stable and not living with family. Love is blind, if he realy loves this girl, he is gonna marry her. Don't discourage this from happening at all, as this will just push him further away from you. Simply tell him your concerns, leave it alone, and stand by your brother no matter what decision he makes. If it is the wrong thing to do he needs to find out on his own. You want to stay on good terms with him, he may need you to fall back on if things go wrong.
2007-03-02 01:50:07 · answer #2 · answered by catmomiam 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You won't be able to convince him if is heart is set on it. Besides, if she comes to America she can take english as a 2nd language classes. She will learn it faster than you would learn Spanish that's just how it usually is. I mean I can understand your family concern sisnce he is young and does not really have responsiblities either. But the heart will do what it wants. Good luck.
2007-03-02 01:28:17 · answer #3 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you better start your list now
He has no job..that means no money, which means he has to find a place to live, unless his mom lets him live with her, bad idea seeing how mom is probably mad about this already, it could take a long time for him to get her a visa and it cost money, and with no job that means he would have to borrow from someone to pay for the application and then the immigration can always disaprove it seeing how he got married under false pretenses. Tell him he is too young to get married.He can't even afford a place of his own right now how is he gonna afford to take care of his wife because she is gonna want money also and is his mom gonna pay for her support, i doubt it very much because mom is already letting him live under her roof and is supporting him why would she wanna support his wife, tell him he better think about this.
2007-03-02 01:32:49 · answer #4 · answered by Mary O 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's probably making a mistake, but he's gonna have to realize that on his own. One of the toughest things is to watch someone you love grow up and make the inevitable mistakes that come along with maturing. All you can do is offer your support. If you antagonize him, you might compromise your relationship with him in the long run.
2007-03-02 01:32:01 · answer #5 · answered by amaya m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you and your family are very selfish in their thoughts. You mention that she does not speak english yet and her spanish is bad. Who are you to judge who your brother loves. I think if you asked him not to marry her it would be a very self indulgent and selfish act.
Show him love and support or expect to see him alot less and see his efforts towards you and your family diminish. There is no way you will be able to talk him out of it, but you can choose to be by his side or not and that is a huge decision in itself.
2007-03-02 01:20:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Wow. Looks may not be everything but he seems to be in love for sure. I doubt you can stop this and he'll need your help more than ever when he comes back.
2007-03-02 01:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long has he known her? You can't choose who you fall in love with, I think the family needs to back off.
2007-03-02 01:31:03 · answer #8 · answered by cutesquaw69 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make a deal with him. Tell him you think you should be able to run his life and in exchange for that he can run yours.
2007-03-02 01:25:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's over 18, your a nosey something and its his life. so what if the family is pissed...not your affair......so back off before you lose your brother.
2007-03-02 01:32:34 · answer #10 · answered by phishsports 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋