my boyfriend and i have been seeing each other for a little over a year. we have talked about having children. well, now im pregnant. at times, he seems he is happy about it. our relationship isnt the best right. we broke up a couple of months ago and he has moved his ex back into his house. i believe ive messed up bad. i dont want to have an abortion but it seems he would be okay with that decision rather than keeping the child. i have lost a lot of respect for him and iam wondering what to do. i dont think god would give me more than i can handle. keep in mind he hasnt told his ex that currently moved in with him. and he hasnt told his family. we have talked about him seeing a counsler or someone within the family. but i dont think he has made an effort. either way, he seems he will be fine with me having the child but would prefer the child be aborted. at this point, i dont even think i love him anymore. ive actually been thinking about never talking to him again.
2007-03-02 01:11:20 · 10 answers · asked by Olga 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Are you responsible enough to raise a child? Can you give him/her the devotion it takes to bring a child up in this crazy world? Do you have support of family and friends? I think it would be good to talk to someone about your options, and how you feel about the situation. It's ok to feel like you dont love him anymore. You can have the baby and not have him in the babys life if you choose that. You can have him in the child's life if he is going to help you financially and emotionally, if you choose. You always have a choice. Choose the one that is best for you and your baby and dont let anyone make the choice for you. Hang in there. You will make the right choice for you.
2007-03-02 02:41:42 · answer #1 · answered by Amy-Pokey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everything you've said has been centered around him. Where do you figure into all of this? You ought to be plenty pissed off about the way he has treated you. Here you are carrying his child and going through all this emotional turmoil and you seem to be doing it all by yourself. Well things need to change pronto! First make up your mind that there will be no abortion. This isn't an option of your choosing so therefore you don't even need to consider going through with this. This is another one of his cowerdly acts of coertion. Next, determine that he isn't going to have any more control over your life. He has you brainwashed into thinking that you were the one who "messed up bad". If there is anyone who is messed up it is him. He is a worthless selfish rat who has degraded your self esteem. He took advantage of you then abandoned you and seems to feel he can get away with treating you like you don't exist. Time to start sharing the burden. Get that counseling you mentioned and enlist all the means you feel necessary to help you. That means telling your family and, if he won't do it, tell his family as well. Tell that ex of his also who he so deceitfully is keeping in the dark. She should be aware of what kind of low life she is shacking up with. It may serve as a warning to her that she may be in the same situation some day.
Never the less, like you say, God wouldn't give you more than you can handle. God gave you a pair of lungs and some vocal cords and a mouth to put them both to good use. If you are considering not speaking to him this is the time to do just the opposite. Time to talk a raging storm and don't back down. You will tell him that he is going to help you and whether he likes it or not he is going to share in the responsibility that he is morally and legally obligated to do. Since he seems to lack the ethical ambitions, there is no way you should ever let him off the hook about fullfilling his legal part. So get an attorney ( free legal aid available) and sue his sorry hide for any and all the support you are due. It's quite understandable that you don't love and respect him any longer. How could you after the rotten way he has treated you. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't have respect for yourself. None the less, twist his arm till it breaks and see that he steps up and pays his dues. It's your, and your unborn child's God given right. Right is might and God is on your side!
2007-03-02 10:51:21 · answer #2 · answered by quantumview 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all you need to think about this baby that you have inside you....Ask yourself...Do I think I could give this baby a great life by myself? Can I handle being a single parent? Aall the pro's and con's basically...It's different for everyone and some don't think they can handle it and some do...What's your true feelings about this baby? Loose the father, but make sure he knows that he's gonna have a part of him in this world. (if you make that choice) Either way let him know your plans. If he is a stand up responsible guy he'll do the right thing...If he's still imature and doesn't care well at least you know that you can do it by yourself, Can u? I was raised by my mother(sadly for me my father was married and my mother was the other women which she didn't know till she got pregnant) I think i I have turned out quite well. It really doesn't matter who's going to be in the baby's life...You, your mom or dad or a sister anyone! As long as your baby feels loved there won't be a problem. I hope this helps somewhat...let me know:) Good Luck! Congrats
2007-03-02 09:30:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart is with you. If you don't want to have an abortion, you should not feel pressured to do it. If you don't want to parent the child alone, you should not feel that abortion is your only other option. What might seem like a terrifying thing to you right now just might be the answer to someones dreams. There are thousands of people right now who want to adopt a baby just like yours. You can see them online by searching for adoption angencies. You would be able to pick the parents you want for your baby and you can keep contact with them over the years so your baby will know you and how you love him or her. Children are a wonderful gift, whether you keep your baby or choose an adoption plan. You are blessed either way.
2007-03-02 09:21:40 · answer #4 · answered by GeminiVirgo1971 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me,that your question is soley based on your ex-boyfriends fellings. He has made up his mind,that he does not want to be bothered with a child,and has moved on with his life. He went back to his ex-girlfriend,which proves he never gave her up. He'll probably leave her if she becomes pregnant too!.
I fell sorry for him,because he is about to loose something,that he will never get back,and that is the respect of his child,when the child grows up without him. If he has not told his parents,nor his girlfriend, that you are pregnant,then he probably won't.
You should tell his parents. They will probably support you on this.
(NOW!)
What about your feelings?. (1) Are you ready to become a mother?. (2) Are you able to take on the responsibility of raising a child alone?. (3) Are you financially stable?. (4) Do you think you'll be able to abort this child,without any regrets later?.
At this moment,YOU have the final decisions,as to where your life and your baby's life is headed.
I will not suggest that you keep nor abort your child. You did not mention how old you are,because this also plays a part in Parenthood. Whatever you decided to do,you have my blessings.
(Love: Squeakers)
2007-03-02 09:36:19 · answer #5 · answered by Squeakers 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know how hard it is to abort a child, but you have to think of his or hers best interest also yanno. dad is gonna be a weekender at best and you dont want to be with him his ex is going to make things impossible for you and he wont give you child support because of her breathing down his neck most definetly. Unfortunately i really think you should abort and dont wait just get it done so you can move on with your life, having kids is an extremely hard thing to do and doing it alone is very difficult you dont want to wind up wondering what your life would have been like if do you?
2007-03-02 09:16:34 · answer #6 · answered by KarenLynne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you get pregnant and he moves his ex back into his house.....he would prefer that you abort....woman..what are you thinking...who the heck cares what he thinks at this point...you have two choice...abort and move on with your life or have the baby, blow his cover....get a lawyer and make him pay for that child forever......think hard but don't take too long...good luck
2007-03-02 09:15:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you could really bear to have the child and kick this guy to the curb then you are one smart redhead indeed. He sounds like trouble and your child is gonna have a bad role model to grow up with.
Be strong, and leave this guy behind, drop him like a bad habit.
2007-03-02 09:14:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi honey
It's your body and your baby,
You do what's best for you.
It's tough being a single Mum but it has it's rewards, I'm raising 3 girls by myself,
If you want the baby then have it.
But he has every right to be a Father to it.
2007-03-02 09:14:00 · answer #9 · answered by Elle J Morgan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first 2 sentences are enough. the rest is overthinking your good fortune of having a baby!
2007-03-02 09:14:15 · answer #10 · answered by kool_rock_ski_stickem 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋