my boyfriend went out with his mates last night in town. one mate is younger than the rest of them (they are all mid 30's and the mate is 29) they got refused entry to a few clubs as the mate was wearing trainers, a slogan tshirt and a hoody). they guys were not very impressed and asked him next time to wear something a bit more respectable. He got in a huff and went off home saying that he will wear what he wants. the guy has no girlfriend, a job he hates and still lives at home with his parents, swears a lot and plays on computer games a lot. (personally I can not figure out why they are friends with him as the others are all settled with houses and girlfriends etc) but he has been in their group for a long time. how can they get him to be more personable without being cruel. aparently he is always moaning he has no life, but wants people to accept him as he is and is not prepared to change for anyone.
2007-03-02 01:09:27 · 11 answers · asked by happy girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
They need to step away from him, he is 29 and grown, he will not change as his life has remained the same for years. If his friends start to step away rom him because he wont change he might realize its all down to him asnd start changing his ways. If his friends do nothing then nothing will happen.
2007-03-02 01:15:34 · answer #1 · answered by clever investor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there,
Some people will only change to a certain degree. If this is a good friend and worth while, maybe when it's his birthday or something get him something more fashionable for these events... Maybe this guy does not know what will be suitable for him..Even if it's at a second hand store..
Other thing you can do is find a place that is more suitable for all parties involved... or when going to these places just go with those who can accommodate the arrangement at hand, and go out with this guy friend on a separate occasion.. Either way, I hope that you guys work it it has it sounds like it's a long time buddy of the guys..
2007-03-02 09:24:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well they've already broached the subject and the guy left, so he knows that what he didn't wasn't being part of the group. I'd suggest that one of the group goes and sees him, takes a beer and sits down and tells it like it is. Men are actually much better at straight-talking than women - we women go round the houses before broaching the subject whereas men are not so thin-skinned. So someone should say what a shame it was that they couldn't get in because of the dress code but they'd prefer to enter as a group rather than exclude one, so agree that the next time he goes out, he wears what is suitable for the venue. Then it's his choice - either to be part of the group and be accepted, or remain an 'individual' but with a rather lonely life.
2007-03-02 09:16:13 · answer #3 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did u ever think that friendship is more than just having a house or job or even wearing the right clothes? You said yourself that he has been friends with them for years so obviously the connection is strong.
If hes ruining everyones night out with innapropriate clothing tell him that he should either fit in or not bother coming since its the nightclubs who make the dresscode and NOT ur friends who are trying to dictate what he should wear. Ur friend was pretty childish to blame the others simply for the way the town is on a sat night.
2007-03-02 09:27:25 · answer #4 · answered by Zinc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guys too old to be told. The only way he might learn is from a hard lesson. Someone needs to sit down and tell him he's out of the group and exactly why.
2007-03-02 09:58:17 · answer #5 · answered by Geoff E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are good mates why dont they suggest that sometimes they go to places where trainers.hoodies etc are allowed and that sometimes he wear clothes that he can wear in the places they wanna go. If he refuses then he better get used to having no life!! if he wont make an effort occaisionally then i think hes just bein awkward. My boyf lives in jeans and sneakers but he makes the effort for me if i wanna go somewhere special..and so do his mates. Tell your boyf good luck!
2007-03-02 09:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by pinkkittenliverpool 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! This guy has issues. I think it needs just one of the guys to sit down with this fella and tell it like it is. They need to say, look mate, you have to change your ways or we won't be calling on you anymore.
You have to be cruel to be kind. Even friendships can outlive the relationship.
2007-03-02 09:12:56 · answer #7 · answered by PrettyKitty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be told that you can't get in someone because of your clothes is ridiculous - this guy could have been wearing £400 worth of clothes - but a guy who bought £15 shoes from topman £20 trousers and a £10 shirt from burtons can get in - this countries door policy is pathetic, they make us pay to go in somewhere to pay for drink and tell us what to wear - I earn more than bouncers i'm sure and have more money in my pocket but can't get in if i'm wearing expensie jeans!! i'm with the mate
2007-03-02 09:15:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a couple of the guys need to have a word with him the next time he starts moaning about himself.He sounds as if subtle hints wont work.if he cant change how can he expect his life to change.
2007-03-02 09:15:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't know if guys do the thing that women do, but hey--Take him shopping
2007-03-02 09:13:49 · answer #10 · answered by HappyGoLucky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋