OK, so I was recently accidentally outed by my mother when she saw the home page for a local gay youth support group on my computer. She refuses to talk about it now, which is strange because before this she couldn't seem to shut up about how ludicrous it is to be gay. Should I be worried?
2007-03-02 00:53:57 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I'm not confused about my sexuality. I'm confused about my mother.
2007-03-02 00:58:49 · update #1
RIGHT. Let me make this very plain: I ain't goin' breeder, so enough with the propaganda.
2007-03-02 01:07:48 · update #2
Rosie: I actually have 4 brothers.
2007-03-02 01:32:40 · update #3
Don't be worried, she's just getting used to the idea. Maybe she feels stupid for being so outright homophobic before when her son is actually gay. Give her some time. I'm sure she still loves you, she just needs some time to adjust. She will probably have to turn all her views around now, and thats not comfortable for anyone.
hang in there!
2007-03-02 00:57:35 · answer #1 · answered by Some Lady 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Words can not describe how hurt she is to find out her one and only son is homosexual. That's a mother's worst nightmare. She must have felt that you drove a knife right into her heart. That's a very hard pill to swallow. She feels like a total failure as a mother. It doesn't matter whether you told her outright or that she discovered it via your computer.
Most mothers are partial to the sons who will carry the family name. And to find out that her is a homosexual and won't be able to give her any grandchildren is a real blow. Nonetheless, she invaded your privacy. Your choice in life and sexual preferences is your basic right.
Give her lots of time to get over her shock. Eventually, she'll come around and soften up; so the two of you can further discuss this issue. She'll get used to the idea. Time will heal all wounds and hurt feelings. No matter what! She won't reject you as her son. Just continue what you're doing before. Show her that you love her. Shower her with gifts and exhibit your thoughtfulness. Just keep on talking to her anyway.
My parents went thru the same thing when they discovered that my brother is a homosexual. Eventually, they accepted him after all.
2007-03-02 01:30:40 · answer #2 · answered by rosieC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is hurting. She knows what a poor choice you have made. She knows you will suffer emotionally and physically. Too many school children think they are gay because the opposite sex doesn't pay attention to them. Therefore, they only hang out with the same sex and experiment on sex. This doesn't make you gay. Maybe a little bit of a sex maniac, but not gay. Give this a lot of thought because often we are in love with the sex feeling and not the person. You should be worried, because God says don't do what you are doing. God didn't put any homosexual genes in man. You are giving up the ability to produce a child. So often teens just want to be different. Homosexuality is definitely different in a bad choice way. You do have help. Ask Jesus to come into your life and change your heart and reveal Himself to you. May the Lord bless you.
2007-03-02 01:05:51 · answer #3 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your mom doesn't like it.
Gay people have the same problem as straight people, but in a different way. They desire companionship, but sometimes lusts get in the way.
It is very hard to ignore lusts, which is why we all end up doing things we didn't really want to or shouldn't sometimes, because the lust of the flesh over powers us at times. We are slaves to it.
Just when we think oh no, I will NEVER do this again, here we go, doing it again. We are slaves to it, that's final.
Your mom has an idealistic image of how she would rather you live your life. If you think you can do better, try, at least if it fails, you will know not to do it again. If she doesn't like it? It isn't her life to live anyway. You were not meant to live her life for her, but to live your life your own way.
Aight, peace, later dude.
2007-03-02 00:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is unsure now what to say because before, it was all a kind of abstract concept. Now it is real, in her house and she does not know how to deal with it. You could try talking to her about it, but she may be hard to get through to for a while.
2007-03-02 00:58:18 · answer #5 · answered by fangtaiyang 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It was different before when it was her expounding on an issue that had absolutely nothing to do with her. But now, it is close to home. Give her some time to adjust and then try to sit down and talk with her about it.
2007-03-02 01:08:42 · answer #6 · answered by fly guy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be worried. She's having to face a few things about herself now including how her rants against gays in the past must have hurt you.
Elegy, get her to watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kfqZaRR8u4
2007-03-02 01:38:49 · answer #7 · answered by castle h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is trying to process and accept everything right now. If you are at a point where you feel you need to talk about it, pull her aside after dinner one night and tell her you two need to talk.
2007-03-02 02:06:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know your mom, but shes probably either shocked to find out that you are gay, or hurt that you didnt tell her yourself. give her some time then try to talk to her about it. as long as you are honest with her from now on hopefully things will be alright. good luck to you.
2007-03-02 00:59:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't be worried. As for your mother if she won't talk write her a letter, explaining how it isn't her fault (no blame to be apportioned) and that you hope to be able to talk it through with her "BTW I'm still your son..."
2007-03-02 01:08:57 · answer #10 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋