hi. i'm feeling overwhelemed...moved, changed jobs, stopped writing, getting married...help!!!?

Question

it's really hitting me now, and i'm not sure how to deal with everything. I hate my job. i moved to nyc from barcelona. I'm so overwhelmed i stopped writing (i am a poet and performer), and the wedding is really scaring me now because i feel i just can't cope! also, since i like to perform, my only escape is when i;m acting or on stage since i feel like i'm back to myself when i'm not 'myself' (does that make sense??..i mean, i'm acting like someone else and i LOVE it!)
i don't think it's cold feet, because i love him, and he's really trying to help me but i won't let him in. i just feel like running away and going back to spain. helpppp!! this is too much for me

p.s. postponing the wedding is not an option. we already discussed it and there is just no way.
thanks:)

Answer 1

You have 2 choices. Stop living in the past or not? Do you really want your old life back? If not imbrace the new and bright future. In the mean time RELAX! Take some me time. Good Luck:)

Answer 2

You are just trying to cope with too many things at once. The move from your homeland is one of the hardest things you can do besides making the other changes that you mentioned. Let's look at one thing at a time. The least important is the job that you mentioned. Everyone hates their job at one time or another so don't let that be a big hangup. Just look at it for what it is - a job! It is just a way to pay the bills and I doubt you're looking at staying with it for a lifetime. In your spair time start looking for another one. The second thing you need to do is find someone to help you through the wedding planning(a new friend, one of your fiance's family??). That will give you someone to help you through some of these other things you find so hard to deal with. It will also help you fit in with your new surroundings. The last thing is living in a new country. It would be very hard to to pack up and move so far away from where you grew up. Try this, find somewhere around there that reminds you of home and make it your special get away place for when you start feeling a little blue. A restaurant, museum, or a park. You might also go to your country's embassy(if there is one close by) and try to make a friend there(they sometimes staff with people from their own country). This would give you someone to relate to from home. If that isn't a possibility - talk to your fiance about getting a calling card to speak frequently with family back home. This could give you less of a feeling of being an alien on another planet. You might also consider a nearby church. Churches can give you more moral support and guidance than anyplace else you can go. I wish you the best of luck. I think you'll find living here a wonderful experience.

Answer 3

You are dealing with anxiety. And it will go away too. You will be fine even if you think this is the end of the world. Just take it easy. That happened to me as well. I moved from Caracas to NYC with my boyfriend who i loved soo much. Consider yourself very lucky because when you feel at ease in your own skin again you will have not only be happily married but living in the most wonderful city for an artist. And your inspiration will come back. That is for sure. I know the city is a little chilly right now, and that definitevely might be affecting your mood. But just wait until Spring comes. That is probably the most wonderful season in the city, and seeing the tree blossoming you just will open your arms and say aloud...Thanks God...What a lucky person i am!!!!

Answer 4

Breathe. It's all going to be ok. Take time to sit down and get organized with the wedding stuff so it is not so overwhelming. Delegate some tasks to some trusted friends. Remember that it is your fiance's wedding too. Don't shut him out. That is what marriage is about, taking care of one another. Let him help. Your wedding does not define your marriage. Even if every little thing is not perfect, it will be fine. Have days when you don't do anything wedding related. All brides feel this stress before the wedding and then the day after, POOF! it all over and what is done is done. Hang in there and remember to breathe!

Answer 5

First of all, you have culture shock! When I moved from Dallas to Hawaii, I experienced the same thing. Although it was beautiful and I LOVED it, it took about six months to the many changes. I'm sure this is what you are experiencing. You are going though so many changes in your life right now, no wonder you are so stressed out! Take a walk and just think. Think of how luck you are to be starting a new life and things will get better. Force yourself to write or act. Sing in the shower. Sit in the sun and just write.

I promise, it's just a transitional change you are going through and it's completely normal to feel this way. Open yourself up to all the new and wonderful experiences you will go through and then write from your heart about those things. You'll be great!

Answer 6

Hi Jessica,
You have the most beautiful smile. That smile would allow you to work anywhere. I do not know your qualifications but if you hate your job and you are one who loves to write and perform then you need to find a job related to those activities. Begin at a nearby stage and library. You can begin working or donating some time for enjoyment. Once you are able to secure employment, give notice and quit the "hated JOB". Find some other people from Barcelona or at least the area of Spain that you lived in and touch base with them either in person or via phone/internet frequently. You deserve to be HaPPy!! Do Not let this affect your relationship with your fiance. That is very important. He certainly did not intend to hurt you. I hope that everything works for the best.

LASTLY, Pray that GOD will give you strength. HE can and will assist if you are a member of Christ's Church and continue to ask for HIS HELP! If you just need to talk anytime write me and I will return the favor. I am happily married and a long ways from where you live but I would be glad to write if it would help. Have a great weekend and a wonderful life with this young man.
Thanks,
Eds, Christian

Answer 7

Ok. Take a deep breath and relax.

Feeling overwhelmed in a situation like this is perfectly normal. You just moved from miles and miles away, switched jobs, and are about to get married!!!

It does make sense about feeling like you are yourself when you are acting, it's what you do and love doing!
Try to take personal time to yourself just for writing. Maybe just on your lunch break at work if you have to. Sit in your office (or where you like to go) and relax. Think about what you love doing. Don't focus however on how much you miss being in Spain. That will only make you want to be there even more.

Talk to your fiance about your dilema. This is going to be your husband soon, and he probably wants to know when you are not feeling like yourself. Maybe he will also help you plan out time so you can take some "me time."

Hope this helped, and keep writing! ♥

Answer 8

People can only deal with one thing at a time. Jobs come and go, if you hate the one you have now, start looking for another one. If you're ready for this marriage, then concentrate on that and everything else is just going to have to wait. You'll write again when you're ready. Keep up the acting, it's a good stress reliever for you. Let your b/f help you, if he didn't love and care he wouldn't of offered.

Answer 9

DON'T Give up what you love, Your writing and your performing. Its most important to you and if you start to sacrifice the things you love you may have big regrets. Make time for yourself everyday even if its a 1/2 hour you are going through tremendous changes and u will not be able to cope if you can't find time for yourself and the things you love. I wish you all the best it will work out! In NY there are TONS of things you can do that encompass your love of writing and performing go take advantage of the internet and search them out.

Answer 10

You've jumped into many life altering events all at once. Psychologically even one can cause the symptoms you feel. Logically you should spend some time just by yourself reflecting on each change in turn instead of all at the same time. Go out for coffee alone...make "me" time and relax. Take your notebook to a quiet place and write about what's going on in your head. That will help sort out all your conflicting emotions. Good luck.