we were quite shocked to hear i was pregnant but ever since then we fight like crazy all of our bad personality traits are coming out. right now he is out of state working been gone for 3wks be home monday it has been horrible since he has been gone im severely depressed he is loosing his patience with me i know it is a combination of things we have never been apart from each other, we did plan this pregnancy, we are both stressed and feel pressured by our current bills pilling up and how to dig ourselves out and taking things out on each other in a way that is hurting us and cant be healthy for the baby. Has anyone experienced anything similar and is it normal for a young couple to have not have any issues b4 getting pregnant and then misplacing stress and fear onto each other in a negative way? and how to we change it? how do we get through it?
2007-03-02 00:46:23 · 8 answers · asked by jessica s 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
ok it has been brought to my attention that not everyone looks at the profile while answering the question I am a little over 3mths pregnant but the biggest problem between us right now is the distance he will be home monday this was a one time thing and it is misplaced anger and frustration on both of parts we both realize and we will make it will just be soo much easier when he is home and we can sit down and talk verses 20- 2min conversations a day. and yes i am working thank god! i would really be going crazy if i had all that time on my hands but my house may be clean lol THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HELP IT IS VERY APPRECIATED!!!!!!
2007-03-02 04:34:05 · update #1
Having children is a big step, it is for every one. Obviously it must turn out alright or there wouldn't be any parents in this world. It's all about making choices, every day we make choices about what we are going to do in our lives. When we make the choice to have a child it means that we as people need to stop behaving like a child our selves.
It's time to be more serious, but not so serious that you start getting worried and lashing out at each other. It's alright to wonder if your going to be a good parent, but it isn't alright to become consumed in it and forget that your partner is going through the very same thing.
Yes having a child mean that you can no longer be selfish, your child will need to come first. But don't forget about your partner's needs as well. You have time before the baby will be born and after your baby comes you will learn how to be good parents. After your baby has been born if you have questions you can always ask your parents, they will gladly help you when you need them to. Grandparents just love that sort of thing.
When my daughter was born my mother was there for me she taught me many things, these things gave me the ability to be the best parent that I could be.
You will be great parents, just stop being so hard on each other. You don't mention how far along you are, or if you are working too.
If your not working and your not too far along why don't you get a part time job, it will help you keep busy and it will also help out with the bills too. I won't hurt you to work, it will keep you from becoming depressed as you won't have the time to do so. I worked the entire time that I was pregnant with my daughter.
I still think working was the best thing I did for my self, it kept my mind busy and me physically fit through out my pregnancy.
Remember that you don't need to buy top of the line items, but they do need to be safe. There are some things that you don't need to have and really can do with out. You don't have to go way into debt when it comes to baby furniture. My husband and I were not rich, I bought a nice used crib and cleaned it well. I didn't use a changing table. Where ever I changed my baby I just made sure that she was never left unattended. She survived not having a changing table and a new crib, she didn't seem to notice. I used the money I saved to buy the diapers and clothes and other items that we were going to need. I didn't have big bills during my pregnancy. My daughter is now 28 years old, she only remembers that she was loved.
Both of you will be just fine if you allow your selves to be, lighten up and be good to each other. God Bless the two of you and your new baby to be, every thing will be just fine. Things will work out just fine for you both.
2007-03-02 03:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by Cindy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, my husband and I experienced it. We were pretty much the perfect couple until we got pregnant. Then it seemed like we fought all the time. We just took everything out on each other. Both of us were being selfish; yet, we didn't realize it until we sat down and had a serious conversation. We even said that if we couldn't work it out between just the two of us, we would go to marriage counseling. Anything to bring back how we used to be. We never had to do marriage counseling, thankfully. What we did was instead of seeing all the negative in each other, to instead try and appreciate one another. And if we did get upset with one another, we wouldn't let it sit and stew before bringing up whatever issue we had. We would sit down and talk about it calmly. Nothing worse than having a yelling match, let me tell you. Things will never be the same after you have that baby, but if you two truly love one another and are meant to be together (which I'm sure you are), it'll all work out. My husband and I love each other more than ever now, and we're expecting another baby. Good luck and congratulations!!
2007-03-02 01:00:11 · answer #2 · answered by herefordsun 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know that both of you have a lot of pressure because of you bills. but you cant take that stress on each other. I know that the distance is probably making it harder. But this is the time where you two need to get closer. You are adding one more person to the family. Sit down and talk about your feelings and try to manage calmly all the situations that you have. Support each other in these difficult moments. If all else fails, get some professional help.
Remember that you are pregnant and because of hormones you can get emotional, so it probably feels tougher for you.
2007-03-02 00:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At first my boyfriend was around every day when we first found out i was pregnant. Now he's not around that much. But too, i know that he's so scared and worried that he has a family to take care of now. We were in shock too, they said i could not have kids. We have bills to pay off before the baby comes in 4 months. We were fine together before i got pregnant and now i feel like we're not going to make it. My friend went through the same thing too. But she said once the baby came out, he went right back to normal. It's just all the stress being put on to be a "man" and support the family that you have created now. I'm going through the same thing so if you need to email and vent please feel free. Since we are going through the same thing, i can relate. Take care and good luck. We mommies stick together.
2007-03-02 00:56:37 · answer #4 · answered by Brocks Mommy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is all normal, and you never think about the bills, all the things you need for a new baby ect.... You have to stick together and work this all out. talk to each other about those fears in a positive way. you will get through it as many of us have. I think I thought about that everytime I got pregnant. And I have 5 grown children today. And 8 Granchildren.
2007-03-02 00:55:18 · answer #5 · answered by awr1956 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i actually discover it whilst i'm feeling under pressure I write even though emotion i'm feeling down. right into a tale of human beings or into unusual complicated words from out of nowhere that no person yet me can comprehend. attempt to maintain in a healthy physique of strategies by potential of doing issues that do not make you experience worse. discover the variety to launch undesirable potential without hurting you or those you like.
2016-10-17 02:24:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to look to your future now, to leave the past away and to step further
you will find the energy and strenght that you need in your soul!
good luck!
2007-03-02 00:54:51 · answer #7 · answered by Vlado 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you both need to pray together and then this will fix problem.
try it!
2007-03-02 01:05:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋