How to get back in life if you have been out of it and lonely for a long long time?

Question

Been on substance abuse, loney and depressed for ages without any social contact, now that I am through with substance abuse how to get back into life. I feel so uncomfortable and out of place in social situation, want to get away as soon as possible, been taking professional help for but hasnt helped me much besides helping me get over substance abuse. Prior to this I was an extrovert, the guy who could bring to life even the most boring parties. Guyz help!

Answer 1

There will always be ups and downs, thicks and thins. Keep that in mind. n_n

How to get back in life... funny that you asked such a question.

I can't tell you exactly how to get back in life, as everyone is different, most are dealing with different situations, and the exact same way won't always work.

You ARE in life, but it seems to me that you've turned your back to it, or at least, to the positives.

I understand what you're going through. Sometimes it's just hard to see the light even when you try so hard to reach out for it. Sometimes it feels like you're in a fathomless well with no way out. Sometimes it feels like you're behind everybody else, trapped in another dimension. Sometimes it feels like the world has turned its back to you.

I've dealt with a similar situation when I moved to my current school. It took around 4 months before I actually became familiar with everything and everyone.

It took me a while to realize that I WAS and AM alive, and I've only fallen into a well that seemed useless to try and escape.

Sometimes you just need a vacation. Your spirit needs to roam freely, instead of getting trapped in a place where you're surrounded by stress and excommunication. Don't be afraid to fail, or try new things. It's all a part of life, and if you never try, how can you learn?

Just be patient and confident, and don't be afraid to be weak. :) You are who you are, your life is your decision. n_n

Below were some inspiring quotes that helped me get back on track when I was really depressed.

Thoughts to Ponder
·You cannot discover oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore
·Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishment toward organisational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.
·Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it.
·Autograph your work with Quality.
·Your attitude determines your altitude.
·The man on top of the hill did not fall there.
·The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack.
·Excellence can be attained if you...
·Care more than others think is wise
·Risk more than others think is safe
·Dream more than others think is practical
·Expect more than others think is possible
·You make a living by what you get...You make a life by what you give.
·Pride... a sense of commitment. Passion, an attitude of excellence.
·Coming together is a beginning... keeping together is progress... working together is success.
·Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of joy.
·Real leaders are ordinary people with extraordinary determination.
·If there's a better way to do it...find it.
·What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

"Don't hurry, don't worry. You're only here for a short visit, so be sure to stop and smell the flowers" - Walter Hagen

"Be the change you want to see in the world" Mahatma Ghandi

"Listen to your heart." - Enigma, Return to Innocence.

I also listened to music, write out my stress in a book, draw, etc. The thing that helped me most was to become closer to the people, the nature and the life that I used to love, asked for advice from people that I know in reality, (dad, friend) and observed life closely.

This built up my confidence, and sooner or later I was back in track. I started talking to the people around me and now I've got many great friends! :) It's never too late. Don't worry if it doesn't work right away. Patience is key. n_n

P.S Remember to accept. Acceptance is important, and that especially applies to yourself. If you can't accept yourself for who you are, you yourself just made a circuitous path for happiness. Would you prefer the longer way out? Cus I wouldn't. ;) Life's too short to spend wasted away. :D

P.SS Life is meaningful.

P.SSS You are as unique as anybody else.

P.SSSS I care about you.

P.SSSSS I love you for who you are.

P.SSSSSS If you need further encouragement, email me at [e-mail] ;)

P.SSSSSSS I'm waiiiting! lol :P

Answer 2

No matter how you were in the past that was ancient history., Now you have created a habit of being lonely and depressed and anti social.

It's going to take training again. Perhaps doing a little at a time like start out small like making phone calls to talk to people. Talking in a chat room to people. Going to the mall daily for a 15 minute walk to become more acclimated to being around people. Occasionally stopping someone to say hello.

You could take workshops like pottery, basket weaving, help groups, volunteer centres. There's a lot of good things you can do and will perhaps keep the mentality of poor pitiful me when there are people far worse off than you that could use your in-site to kicking those drugs perhaps.

Answer 3

start with aftercare groups, possibly, also try going to church, maybe get involved, go out and walk around some stores, that way you aren't feeling cornered within a group, but that will help get you back in around people. slowly move towards healthy social situations, as with anything else, you will become more and more comfortable each time. As you know from recovering, nothing happens overnight, it all takes time. If you can recover, you can do this as well, you are over the biggest hurdle. Good Luck, will pray for you.

Answer 4

I`am sorry for the way your life is going but you need to get away from people and find a hobby,like running,swimming,
bike riding,clear your mind of negative things ,read books about
positive thinking. Seek religion and i believe there you will find a friend,a friend you can trust. I hope this helps.

Answer 5

New professional help for social anxiety.
This doesn't seem to be neurological as much as truth-based.
But how you see yourself is immensely important.
Just remember the Prodigal Son (look it up if you need to, ps I'm not religious)
There is a hero inside all of us.
There are recovering EVERYTHINGS out here,
so come on out and show off your strengths!

Answer 6

Well, you need to think about what things you like to do. Go to the places that you would go, to just enjoy yourself. When you do that, you will meet people who are more like you. Kinda obvious, whe you think about it, right?

You'll find more people that you have things in common with, by doing the things....going the places...that YOU enjoy!

And, if you give in to the desire to stay isolated....you will stay down in the dumps. You have to fight it. Put yourself out there, and it will get easier, every time.

Trust me....I have social anxiety disorder, myself. The only way to overcome any fear is to face it. And, if your professional isn't helping you enough...fire them....and go find another.

Answer 7

i suppose you've heard the ole cliche get high on life? well, it worked for me, it came by way of fishin, got back to nature, its beautiful when ya look at it through undilated eyes. never be afraid to try something new,remember, an amature built the arc, and a large group of professionals built the titanic!!!!! good luck. BEEN THERE DONE THAT!!!!!!

Answer 8

I really like the spirit of treefrog's & nightwolf's (you guys got some interesting names) answers. And thanks nightwolf for some of those quotes....

I agree that doing what you enjoy/love is probably the best solution (I think it's a good solution for a lot of things, actually).

That, and listening to your heart. If you feel "uncomfortable and out of place in social situations, and want to get away as soon as possible"... maybe your heart is on to something there. Maybe you're not ready yet to "go back into social situations", so perhaps you shouldn't force yourself to "fit back in" just right now.

Actually, you don't have to jump right back into a huge crowd. Social situations also includes 2-3 people, so maybe you can start with smaller situations with smaller numbers of people. In the beginning, avoid the big house parties, and stick with really small dinners with 4 people. If that's also too much, then just try being with 1 or 2 people. Or even 1 person, and just meet at a coffee shop. Go with what you feel comfortable with, and build up from there. Start small. Go easy on your Self.

I'm going to offer an extremely biased opinion, so consider it just for reference only..... but maybe, for some people, "social situations" aren't all they're cut out to be, or "healthy" for certain people, or not worth frequently participating in, in certain periods of one's life. It's way generally overrated.

Many people participate in social situations because they're bored, lonely, want to show off or "network", project a certain image to other people for gain or ego, looking for fun/love/sex etc, enjoy being the center of attention, socialize for their job/career interests, etc..... a lot of it is social "acting" or "role playing". No wonder a lot of people have social anxiety - too often, it's just a kind of performance anxiety. You have to perform, by "showing interest in other people," or at least "pretending to be interested," "giving a good impression," "working the crowd," "mingling," .... a lot of it can be pretty fake. To hell with that! If that's your "cup of tea", then great - but if it's not, then that's OK too.

You used to be an ex-extrovert who could "bring to life even the most boring parties", so you should know from experience... boring parties are the result of people who are bored, and they go to Not be bored. Heck, while everybody's at it, maybe they could probably use some therapy as well.

To not want to frequently join, adjust to, and fit in with that kind of social life, could in many cases be a sign of a heart & person that just wants to Be Real with itself.... instead of always doing things for other people, or USING other people & social situations to achieve certain personal goals, fulfill certain needs, or "get something out of it".

This doesn't mean I never go to larger social gatherings; I do, but not often. They can be more taxing, & less fulfilling. I'm a loner type, and don't really need/want a heavy amount of socializing. I prefer extremely small groups, of between 2-3, where I feel energized & interested. The conversation & interaction can be more personal & intimate... Real, in my opinion. You can be your self, and you can really get to see and know somebody else a bit better.

But these are just my own perspectives, inclinations, and ways to become who you want to be. You'll have to find your own.......... in any case, I really do wish you the best!

Answer 9

I'm the same without the substance abuse, I got pregnant instead and moved away from my friends. If you find the answer please let me know.

Answer 10

There are many people who would make fun of the prospect of altering their fates. This is because it believes that nobody gets more that exactly what is put in his destiny.