I have been married since Dec 05 but have been in a relationship with my husband since 2001 and since then we have two children who are 4 years & 1 year old.
I live with my husband and our relationship has broken down due to unduly behaviour on his part but i am worried that if we proceed with a divorce and as he owns the property which is in his own name only.He has said he can legally kick me out making me homeless and he will have custody of our kids because he can provide a home.On top of that he got a loan (in his own name) a few months ago to pay some of my debts and also took out of that loan money that was due to him from me for housekeeping and he has also held onto about £1,500 of it in case i need it at a future date.At the moment it is i who is paying the monthly premiums for this loan.
The relationship basically is dead but unsure what to do.Despite my husband promising to change he has not done anything to change this.
2007-03-02 00:27:53 · 16 answers · asked by gezza 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was married to my ex for 8 years , we were together for 15 years.
The house was in his name only
I too thought i wouldnt have a leg to stand on if i left, boy was i wrong lol
Because i had contributed to the household ( i.e bringing up kids ) i found out i was entitled to 50% of the equity of the house
I am currently waiting for my settlement from him. The kids live with me, just because he has a house does not give him automatic full custody,
Seek legal advice hun, trust me you ARE entitled to something and as long as you can provide a safe place for your kids to live with you he would have to prove you an unfit mother to gain full custody.
Ignore his rantings and see a solicitor, first 30 mins is free and they can tell you exactly what you're entitled to.
Good luck xx
2007-03-02 00:38:50 · answer #1 · answered by sonia h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It looks like you are not in the states, so I am not sure how the law applies there. I do know how it works here. Just because he has the mortgage in his name only, does not mean that he will get the house. Did you purchase the house while you were married or did he have it before? Also, just because he has a house does not mean that he will get custody of the children. If the loan is in his name only, then you need to quit paying it! It's his responsibility! He took the loan out! You are not legally bound to it if it only has his name on it. You should just leave him. He sounds like a total jerk. Seek a consultation with an attorney and they will be able to tell you all of your options. Your husband is just trying to scare you and bully you. He doesn't know what he is talking about... Good luck!
2007-03-02 08:45:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What will happen is the court will look at who would be the better parent to be the primary caregiver. 99% of the time,this is the mother as children do tend to bond closer with the mother-and it's the child's happiness and welfare that will be the most crucial issue. As for the martrimonial home-I've recently learned that it does not matter if your name is on it-you lived there,put towards it (upkeep/mortgage)-you actually have a right to it! (I'm in the middle of a divorce,and though I just wanted the marriage legally ended,I was informed I had a right to the matrimonial home.) There are 2 things that can be done-you get to stay in the home-especially as you are raising the children-or he has to pay you half it's worth. Contact Citizen's Advice or find a local Legal Aid solicitor who can inform you of all your rights. Best of luck to you!
2007-03-02 08:53:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont pay his loan no matter whom it was for why do you pay him house keeping???
if you got a divorce then the house would be his you may be able to make him sell and give you some money but you still need to move out i would find somewhere first without telling him not sure if you work but if you have probs with rent housing benifit may be able to help look in phone book for local council and go from there if you do work then go to csa for maintenance (if they do job properly) get out house and take kids HE WILL NOT GET COSTODY OF KIDS AS LONG AS YOU HAVE ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD I PROMISE. CONTACT YOUR LOCAL C A B they will tell you same and advise you further i have a friend who went through same thing and she even in a hostel (not the best of places to be) but she still has kids man cant get costody just because he owns home he sounds mean anyway to threaten to keep them with him.he will never change i think yu know that.let him pay his loan and use the money towrds a home for you and your children
good luck x
2007-03-02 08:43:09 · answer #4 · answered by lilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please leave this guy. He is a bully and will never change.
Just so you lnow, the fact that he is taking out loans for housekeeping proves he isn't managing his money as well as you think he is. Normal people don't do that.
I'm not sure how things are in BritaIn, but here in the US, the courts would do their best to keep the children with the mother. God will take care of the rest of everything.
2007-03-02 08:40:56 · answer #5 · answered by David M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly you need good legal advice and a local Citizens Advice Bureau will give you free advice and a referral to a local specialist solicitor if you wish. Don't worry about being kicked out of the house - it's true that whoever has custody of the children will usually stay in the marital home and your husband has an equal chance of applying for custody but, realistically, with the age of your children it is more likely that the courts will award them to you. Your finances will be 'merged', i.e. treated as one lump regardless of who has the deb.t Whatever you both bring in to the house will be treated as a 'pot' and then allocated accordingly, so forget the debts, they are joint debts as far as the court is concerned.
But seek legal advice first and PLEASE please try to keep the disputes, the arguments, the bad feeling out of sight and hearing of your children. For the sake of your kids, please try and both act civil and well behaved in front of them.
2007-03-02 09:23:47 · answer #6 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get to the Citizen Advice Bureau as soon as possible-they will tell you for free where you stand with the children and the house. I doubt very much he can evict you from the house, but i'm no expert so for your own peace of mind find out. My husband kept our house when we parted but it made no difference to the judges decision to let me have majority custody of my son even tho i was in rented accomodation. the CAB are there to help and he doesn't even have to know you've been. Good Luck
2007-03-02 08:35:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depending on where you live you have options in the states there are a lot of community property states Like in Michigan it doesn't matter who owns what who's name it is in if you are married it is both of yours and would have to be sold and the profits split. I would go see a lawyer and find out the truth you have to face, most give free consolations see where you stand on this it might surprise you and him.
2007-03-02 08:36:10 · answer #8 · answered by Mary B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you seriously need to go and speak to a solicitor. They will be able to tell you your best course of action and let you know the pros and cons.
Most solicitors offer a free advice surgery, so why not pop along. It will give you a definate answer. I'm pretty sure that he can't just kick you out of the house as you have occupier's rights.
Good luck!!
2007-03-02 08:34:48 · answer #9 · answered by Stay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him another chance may be six months to prove to you that he can change,in the mean time get the house changed into both your names,that way you have some thing to fall back on if you do decide to split
good luck
2007-03-02 08:37:43 · answer #10 · answered by tammy4177 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋