i caught my wife cheating on me with her uncle. and i love her very much i just walked out the house and didn't say a word to them. i been staying in a hotel for over a month now and i'am unsure what to do. we been married for about 9 years and we don't have kids. i work long days sometimes up till night. i make a real nice living income.i havn't been able to call her. but i still pay the bills for her. just wondering what would you do?
2007-03-02 00:25:00 · 15 answers · asked by Skitter 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
thank you all for all the advice you have giving. you know all i ever tryed to do give her was the best. guess most men that walked in on them would of kill them. and all i do blame my self for trying to buy her love and not giving her my love. i really do love this woman. and i know it is very sick to be with incest. but also it still cheating. i don't care about house are the money. i find myself lost and feels like somethen has been taken away from me. just give you a little details about myself. iam retired from air force and a pilot for for delta now. my wife can't have kids. guess that was the best now. and again thank you for all the comments and the advice..
2007-03-02 02:14:32 · update #1
Chances are if she's doing her uncle, she's doing someone else, too. Go get checked for std's and move on. I know it's not easy, but she isn't worthy of your affection. Find someone who is. Let her uncle pay her bills. She's giving him everything else.
2007-03-02 00:43:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I do am sorry, with her uncle? People here will give you diff. advice,but you must realize that this will be up to you. Follow your heart and it will guide you on a right path.
I know how you feel, my husband had an affair 2 months ago and it did ruined our life, my kids and myself. I did everything for him for 22 years, unconditional love,and in bed. The woman that he had an affair was also married,(adultery). Yours is not bad yet and you dont have any kids so be grateful.
You mentioned that you still pay the bills and not staying at home. All the bills are in your name even though that your not there, go home, talk to your wife and if you think that what had happened was partly your fault because of long hours at work, then the two of you can really open up. Communication is the best key in marriage,............goodluck!!
2007-03-02 09:30:05 · answer #2 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a lawyer to find out your rights in your state. He will advise you on what you have to pay and what you do not have to pay. Thank goodness there is no children. I know the hurt when you work so hard and the love of your life cheats. My ex was going with my sister. The hurt is double when it is a relative. Don't let her use you anymore. If she can cheat with an uncle , she will cheat again. I learned the hard way. You deserve only the best and you need to get rid of the trash in your life. It is hard. I have been there easier said than done. But get a lawyer and protect yourself . You will be glad you did later on. Take a day at a time.
The hurt is so bad right now. I know you do not believe it, but time does make it better. It has been 4 years for me and there still is some pain. But it is getting better. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-03-02 09:20:13 · answer #3 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lawyer - Lawyer - Lawyer!
That's very nice of you to still love her and pay the bills for her and her uncle, but you need to be nice to yourself here! You haven't been 'able' to call her - meaning you haven't wanted to confront her or you haven't been able to reach her?
You need to make some kind of move! If you don't want to confront her - do it all through a lawyer. If you're going to confront her, it will help to get to the bottom of this so that you can have some closure. If you really still love her that much, although I can imagine that if you do, you're hurting pretty bad, you can try to get counseling for both of you to try to make it work.
Ultimately, no one can tell you what to do, but they can suggest that you must eventually do something towards resolving this and moving on with your life!
2007-03-02 09:13:42 · answer #4 · answered by Plexed 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, let me say I am very sorry. You sound like a nice guy and don't deserve to be treated in this way. With that said, I think you need to get an attorney and file for a divorce. It's just my experience, but if a person is inclined to cheat on you once, they will do it again and again. I suppose they assume that if you forgave them once, you will forgive them again and again and again and just keep putting up with their bad behavior. I think you would be happier in the long run if you just parted ways with her now and saved yourself the misery.
Best of luck!
2007-03-02 08:32:54 · answer #5 · answered by Sexual Being Too 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did you let her know that you caught her cheating on you . Why in the world with her uncle of all people? Have you asked her if she is open to going to marriage counseling with you are not? Are you wanting to work on and save the marriage? IS she sorry and remoresful for what she has done and does she want to work things out with you and is she still sleeping with her uncle?
2007-03-02 09:39:57 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi.. sorry to hear abt you & yr wife.
9years is a long time.
i'm sure you both can sit down and talk things out.
communication can resolve most issues.
question:
1) how much do you trust yr wife will not repeat again?
2) are you willing to give up yr 9 year old marriage
3) what is the cause of the problem?
not enough time for each other?
long hours at work for both of you?
is money really important?
4) what each of you are willing to do to make the relationship work out fine?
please consider carefully before making a major decision.
best wishes to you...
2007-03-02 08:40:17 · answer #7 · answered by sam_mail_sg 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Besides taking her to the Jerry Springer show, you need to cut all ties and file for divorce. You don't have kids so it'll be easier to break it off. And stop paying her bills she cheated on you so don't fork out another dime.
2007-03-02 08:35:10 · answer #8 · answered by vegas13 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are going to need to confront her sooner or later, perhaps get in touch with a lawyer before you do. Her uncle? thats pretty sick...
2007-03-02 08:32:12 · answer #9 · answered by Jasmina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
her uncle??!!?? you have got to be kidding? does she know why you moved out? if she does or even if she does not........tell her why you left and keep running, because if you caught her doing this, it is probably not the first time they have been together
2007-03-02 09:28:28 · answer #10 · answered by phishsports 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋