He is 16 years old, has had many girlfreinds but has always sounded rather like Dale Winton. When i walked in he was on his knees giving it some listening to his scissor sisters CD, with what i know is gay porn (i know from tidying his room) being overlooked by a A1 sized poster of Jake Shears. As i say he has loads of girls come round, is he gay and what should i do about this?
2007-03-02 00:07:00 · 43 answers · asked by Juz 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Many teens go through a confused stage about their sexuality. I would not worry. Your son does however need his privacy at 16 so please respect that. He also needs to know that if HE wants to he can turn to you and discuss anything and not get a negative reaction. You have to be there for him, welcome his friends and let him have the time and freedom to discover himself whilst being ready to support him if needed. Unless he shows worrying changes in his mood (and I do not mean usual teen stuff) it is essential you do not push him or quiz him to much to discuss anyhting he is not ready to. As far as the mastibating is concerned, and like others I am not sure this is the key concern you have, that is an instinct of any boy post pubity.
2007-03-03 03:06:23 · answer #1 · answered by worldwanderer007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all knock before you go in his room, everyone of that age is entitled to a little privacy and almost everyone masturbates. The fact that he had gay porn material is really neither here nor there. He's still at an age when he is discovering his sexuality and may not have a definite sexual identity or preference. Some young adults are late teens before it is clearly defined, some never have clearly defined boundaries between which sex they fancy at any time. My daughter chops and changes all the time and she is sixteen. Often she is just saying things to try to shock me, but I've always made it clear that she'll be what she'll be and that is that ( no matter how much I worry about either teenage pregnancy or social acceptance of her - there is no easy answer! )
I remember brazening it out with her recently and asking 'when you settle down do you reckon it's more likely to be with a girl or a boy?' She welcomed the chance to talk about it.
Try not to judge him. Try not to worry. The fact that he has lots of female friends is neither here nor there. Just be there for him and, for goodness sake knock!
Good luck
2007-03-05 06:58:30 · answer #2 · answered by crabbit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you need to do, just be sure he can talk to you any time about anything. It doesn't matter whether he's gay or not, as long as he's comfortable with who he is and knows that you love him no matter what. That girls are gaga over him doesn't have anything to do with whether he's gay or not, that's a matter of who he's attracted to more, guys or gals. Porn is porn, by the way. It's supposed to make you want to have sex. And at 16, everything probably turns him on, so I wouldn't judge too much by what he was listening to, or what he sounds like.
Apologize for invading his privacy by walking in on him like that, then just ask him if he wants to talk about anything. If he doesn't, just let it go, again letting him know he can always come to you.
2007-03-02 06:18:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay that is an awkward situation to be in to say the least but masterbation especially tih regard to teenage boys is absolutely normal and is not something to worry about. I would say knock before entering next time!
With regard to the question of whether or not he is gay, I would say he could be but a lot of boys at his age are still experimenting with their sexuality. If he is gay you need to wait until he feels he is ready to talk about all you can do in the mean time is let him know that there is NOTHING wrong with being gay and that you will be there for him as a parent no matter what.
Good Luck
2007-03-02 02:05:12 · answer #4 · answered by strictmom 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
leave him to it he is growing up and will find his own way, let him to talk to you when he is ready. if he is gay there really isnt alot you can do about it other than give him the support he needs at the time. being gay is only a sexuality not a disease, people are so much more approving now of the gay community. i personally dont have a problem with them as i work with gay men!
2007-03-02 09:35:34 · answer #5 · answered by kel lou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with everyone else let him approach you. This is a very hard thing to see as a mother but it is better than walking in on him doing drugs!! Even if he is gay I hope that wont hurt your relationship with him but I hope that it will make you closer. I will let you know if anyone tells you to preach to him and convert him dont!! I am a christian myself and even though I may not agree with the gay and lesbian lifestyle, God told me to love everyone and I do!! Also we do not have the right to judge anybody for the choices they make only love them and be there for them. If my daughters were to turn out gay I would love them the same and just pray for them. Your son sounds like a normal teenage boy to me gay or straight it doesnt matter. I had a friend in high school who was the same way and he was straight he just liked gay porn so different people like different things. God bless you and your son!! I hope he will give you the strength and understanding you will need to help your son figure out who he is!!
2007-03-02 02:07:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Excellent advise by others. I'm no expert, nor do I have experience with this. However, I do know that masturbation is a NORMAL practice that both males and females do. I am a bit unclear as to your question - what should you do about the masterbation (nothing) or your concern for his sexuality (again, nothing)? If he is haivng some bi- or homo-sexual feelings he needs to sort them out on his own. He doesn't need anybody to approach him in an acusatory way. It may be that he is experimenting with feelings and it isn't anything to worry about. Just be there for him.
2007-03-02 02:24:05 · answer #7 · answered by BLONDAGE 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Lots of gay guys have lots of girl mates...
Caught by Mum tossing off... arrrrgggghhhh he must have died of embarrasment poor kid... thats like a scene from American Pie.
Maybe ask him if he has a girlfriend, then somewhere along the lines ask him if he knows any gay people in school casully and what they are like.
Mention you have had gay mates if you have or that its cool as most gays are really nice... (ie mention things casually in a positive frame showing that you have no probabs with gays or bi sexaul ie those who can pull anyone) and well as hows it going on the girlfriend front?
Also indicating that its cool to fancy girls and want to make out with them and that it would be cool to have girls over if you met them first.
or any mates inc gay or bi ones.
Dont asdk him directly but effectively open the door for when he may want to say things
ALSO note your average 16 year old will toss off most mornings and nights unless having sex then
2007-03-02 08:58:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
NO HE IS NOT GAY! This is perfectly normal for any teen the best thing to do is forget about it and say nothing do you know how embarresed he probably is. The average age for girls and boys to start this is 14 .. hope i helped
2007-03-03 04:15:47 · answer #9 · answered by Fafinette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever sexuality he has you can do nothing and have to be neutral. You could talk asking something about, but you have to accept his sexuality without put discrimination or offenses. True and mature parents just come out in these different situations.
You've to love your son independently from his sexuality! There is no other change.
2007-03-02 05:47:26 · answer #10 · answered by whole_feelings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋