We have been together for over a year. We have 1 child together plus I have 2 on my own. Oneday things are great and the next they are not. We stay together in the same house,and its now getting to the point where I am beginning to wonder if I am to young to keep dealing with him? I do realize that he is to old to change!
2007-03-02 00:02:09 · 20 answers · asked by alana 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know this seems a horrible thing to say & I don't mean it to come over as such....but we tend to get in life what we think we're worth. It doesn't mean that's actually what we are worth but if we think we're worth nothing, then nothing is what we get.....how do you think you have the right to be treated? that's the point I'm trying to make here.
You don't actually say how it is you're being treated but however it is, you're clearly not happy right now....what I'm getting here is that one day he can be fine & the next something is starting him off, like not talking to you properly or being abusive in other ways...perhaps you need to find out what it is that gets him acting this way....I don't really know....I don't have a lot of time I'm afraid for someone that can't or won't behave properly within a relationship.
This relationship or his behaviour has nothing at all to do with your age or his, if he wants to change things for the better, then change he will...it's about the way you treat each other or more to the point ALLOW yourself to be treated. If you're not happy with things now & you don't see them changing, then imagine how life will be in another 5 years...could you go there? if not, then perhaps it's time to go somewhere else....what do you think?
2007-03-02 00:19:09 · answer #1 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am feeling that perhaps you already feel like this is the time to leave, but would just like some confirmation. Nothing wrong with that, it is a major life changing event. It is not a matter of him being "too old to change" but a matter of him wanting to change. You can teach an old dog new tricks. My father learned around 50, and he is a very stubborn man, lol. Besides, it is not about changing someone, he is not broken so you cannot fix him. I would say that perhaps it might be time. you are both too young to be in a relationship that is not working. Besides, what do you think the fighting is doing to the kids? Just my thoughts, hope I helped.
2007-03-02 00:15:08 · answer #2 · answered by badgerman 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Three kids? You aren't too young, your kids needs outweigh your age in any relationship. Especially with this man being the father of one of them. He isn't too old to change, but if he is supporting the whole household he may be tired of it, and need some more love and a little less responsibility, he could very easily look at being Daddy to three as something he isn't old enough for since if he was going out with someone as young as you he was looking for less rather than more encumbrances. You must have gotten pregnant early in the relationship and not given it enough time to gel. I don't know if you can stay together, but I'd work really hard at it, a woman with three kids by at least two daddies and not as young as she thinks she is will find herself a drag on the market.
2007-03-02 00:14:18 · answer #3 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get Out While The Getting Is Good.
Age is not a factor here. What is a factor here is the fact that his behavior is unacceptable.
You should not be living with that kind of emotional trauma/drama, it's not healthy for you or your children.
I am certain there are plenty of 27 - 35 year olds that would be greatful for the opportunity to love and cherish all four of you.
Don't wait until it's too late, and someone gets hurt.
2007-03-02 00:21:18 · answer #4 · answered by Aunt Henny Penny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in no way. Age distinction after twenty 5 or so is somewhat plenty meaningless. there is no cultural taboo re an early Thirties form to this component an early 1920s form. actually it must be extra effective. In some techniques you're probable on the comparable emotional point of progression.
2016-10-02 06:16:56 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's beginning to realize the same thing and it's making him uncomfortable. Either that or the other way around, maybe he thinks that you are not in the same wavelenght as him. Do you try to get into things that interest him or do you just let him be and do your own things? Try to read more and get involved in topics that interest him, talk to him about the age factor, I'm sure you two have before, but you need to acknowledge it simply because it's always going to be there. Make sure he knows you're ok with it and care about him, it's obvious to me, make sure to make it obvious for him.
2007-03-02 00:10:15 · answer #6 · answered by guicho79 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Older people are very much set in their ways. You can't change him. In my honest opinion I don't think its good for you or your children to be around someone with such an explosive temper. You can try talking to him about it and encourage him to get some help for that problem but if he's not trying to hear it then the best thing to do is to leave.
2007-03-02 01:17:24 · answer #7 · answered by KoKo.Licious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off anyone can change but they have to want to change you cant make them...it is hard to answer your question without knowing exactly what is going on....you have to figure out what you want in life, talk to a family member it will help just getting it off your chest...you also need to talk to him and let him know you are having doubts about your relationship if he cant discuss it like an adult without blowing up then leave his *** some guys oonce they are aware of just how bad it is from your point of veiw they will be more aware of there actions and try to change them...1 thing you can do is change how YOU react to his outbursts, try not to argue back just ask calmly why are you yelling at me it makes them think for a second...i dont know your circumstances so i cannot tell you what to do, but if its too bad you need to get your kids out of that envoronment....
2007-03-02 00:12:04 · answer #8 · answered by bnd 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is too old for you. You must realize you have made too many mistakes already, don't keep on doing it.... you need to get some independence, and find some time to mature. Time for you to stay away from men, and look after your children properly.
2007-03-02 02:19:58 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communicate seriously and tell him what you feel and think about the situation. Tell him your assumptions and why..... for example this question.
And before you start with the communication, put a few pros and cons on paper, so you could bring everything in the open.
I think it has nothing to do with age.....
2007-03-02 00:10:10 · answer #10 · answered by John Th 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋