My best friend's been with her man for roughly 4 years and although they've had their rough patches, they always pull through and stick together - which I admire. They live together, but have no desire to get married anytime soon.
My problem with her is that she's so spoilt and ungrateful about the things he does for her. Ok, he's not perfect (could pull his weight a bit at home and cook the odd meal), but he always gets her great bday / xmas gifts, takes her out for meals, they've been to mexico, portugal, egypt and italy together - not to mention countlesss wkend trips away. And all she can do is find something to whinge and complain about! My love life is and has always been s**t and I've never been taken anywhere by any of my exes barring the odd chinese meal or drinks at a bar.
I'm currently single (again) and resent the way she doesn't appreciate anything he does. I'd kill to have a man who treats me that way, but all she can do is find fault with things.
2007-03-01 23:59:41 · 16 answers · asked by rachel e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Thats too bad for her isn't it!!! Maybe one day her guy will finally wake up!!!
2007-03-02 00:03:45 · answer #1 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most humans soon take things for granted, we can have so much and soon forget that such things have so much worth, but we always want more than we have.
Your friend does have it good in many areas, but she wants more, we dont know how much importance she places on the things she moans about... does she want these things as well as the holidays etc? do they mean so much to her that she'd happily not have holidays and meals, but settle for a nicer guy who is skint?
She wont ever appreciate the things he does until he is gone, and even then she might not notice, maybe she'll get lucky and find some other sap who has money and a high tolerance for being whined at.
What does she do for him? Does she make him feel valued? Does he want more out of life?
And as for you.... when you find a special someone ... it will all feel great and new and lovely, remember this moment and try to keep that loveliness with you always.
Group hug!
2007-03-02 00:10:16 · answer #2 · answered by conian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the bigger question is why it bothers you so much-it's very easy to think others have all the luck especially when yours is down. As close as you may be to your friend no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors and expensive gifts and holidays don't alway equal loving and perfect relationships. If they stick together then he obviously doesn't have a problem with her attitude if they don't then hopefully she'll still have a good friend in you to turn to. I know plenty of women who whine and ***** about their men (guilty as charged) but wouldn't swap them and actually show a totally different side to their partners. Do you think sometimes she may feel bad for you that you haven't yet found a good partner who treats you right and thinks by criticising her own man it may make you feel better.
I think you should take care of you and don't worry that others have better lives, when you find the right guy/girl who treats you with the respect and affection you deserve you'll start to realise that all relationships work differently.
2007-03-02 00:18:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess that depite all these trips to mexico etc etc shes still not happy , no suprise (as material things dont equal constant happiness) and a relationship is more than just the things you do together and give eachother, its how you FEEL about eachother.
I guess the feeling just arent there, and the ungratefulness comes from resentment about having to spend time with someone she dosent really like anymore but cant bring hereself to break up with. She may never discuss these true feelings with other people, but her moaning is definitely a sign that shes dissatisfied in some way with him, but who knows what way?
2007-03-02 01:19:30 · answer #4 · answered by Zinc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you said she is used to having it all handed to her. I really do believe in the saying "you don't know what you've got till it's gone"! All you can do is stand back and tell yourself I told you so when it all comes crashing down all around her in the future.
I have been in a relationship where I got the best gifts too, but here goes another old saying...."money can't buy love". There is a lot to be said for helping around the house, just being there for you. You don't really know how someone is until you live with them. Good luck!
2007-03-02 00:16:45 · answer #5 · answered by Theresa P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her how her complaining makes you feel, but in a nice way. Tell her that you want to have the kind of friendship where you can "disagree without be disagreeable." You should remind her that, while he isn't perfect, he is good to her and that she is lucky to have him. Remind her how hard it is to find a decent guy. Remind her that there are plenty of girls out there that would jump at the chance to be with a guy that would treat them right. No relationship is perfect. You can always find fault somewhere. Sometimes we need our friends to snap us back to reality. Hang in there....your time will come. You gotta have faith!
2007-03-02 00:09:19 · answer #6 · answered by cakekweeny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-17 02:21:13 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your assumption is not correct. She is making the right moves. The world is such that only the aggressive and demanding get their demands met, if u always express satisfaction, the world gives u less. She is doing the right thing, and possibly will get more.
2007-03-02 00:07:49 · answer #8 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not being funny but are you sure you dont know the whole story here? yes she gets presents, nice holidays ect.ect but thats not what its all about! i doubt that you know the other emotional side to their relationship so i think you should just butt out and try not to be so materialistic, if her man isnt all there emotionally in her opinion, then no amount of holidays and birthday presents is gonna solve that. x
2007-03-02 02:13:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be patient you will find someone who will do all this and more for ou and you will know how to treat him. Look to what you do have not what you don't. Your mates bloke sounds like a doormat and needs to kick her ungrateful butt into touch!
2007-03-02 00:13:05 · answer #10 · answered by sm80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well honey you will eventually meet the right person for you, and she will come crashing down to reality one day that she is really onto a good thing! but it could be too late by then. and her partner may have left her
2007-03-02 01:14:43 · answer #11 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋