What is the best way to help someone close who is anorexic?

Question

They tend to play games, deny, become devious. Is it actually possible for someone who is close to the person to get through the cloud of lies?

This is not a current situation, I was just thinking about a girlfriend I had years ago who actually seemed to be addicted to the illness. She was also a manic depressive and kept trying to commit suicide. I have to say I ended up handing her over to her family and left because the situation was screwing me up.

Answer 1

Not as long as they're playing games, its part of the control aspect of anorexia. The person trying to help risks becoming co-dependant as well, whic means the person doesn't get the help that they need.
This is such a difficult thing to deal with. To learn more about games playing and how to break through games, try Games People Play plus other books about transactional analysis. It can give you some insight and constructive tips about behaviour.

http://www.amazon.com/Games-People-Play-transactional-analysis/dp/0345410033 - 159k

I just read your update, there was nothing else you could do. You cannot cure an anorexic. If it were that simple you would have managed it while you were together. They have to want to get proper help and want to get well.

Answer 2

Hi, the only thing i can say is be very supportive of them & their family, just be there for them through the good & bad times, dont try to pressurise them into getting the help, they have to do that in their own time which can sometimes take awhile for them to realise they are hurting everyone around them, good luck with this.

Answer 3

You can only encourage them and hope to help them get help. The problem is like you said, they deny, cling to their behaviors. It is a scary disease, and it has so many ways of defeating help, you just have to remember the beautiful person inside who is trapped behind the disease.
Interventions may be needed for the hardest cases, but as you said, it is frustrating and tempting to give up for both the sufferer and their friends and family.

Answer 4

thats hard! when someone close to u has any kind of mental or physical illness it starts to take a toll on u.

i would say not to nag the person. they prety much have to see a counselor.

Answer 5

i feel sorry for people like that depression is an illness i had it at 16 cos of what happned to me but ive managed to keep it away i had eating problems to i would starve myself for days and just smoke fags and drink tea and that kept me going till i became really ill, but i think sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and snap people out of my mum had to with me she made sure i ate and made sure i wasn't making myself sick after and she was hard on me telling me how awful i looked and i had to do this for myself and it worked.

Answer 6

yes

I was bulimic when i met my now husband,
if you care about the person you will see past the illness and help them through it,
but you cant help them if they dont admit they have a problem take them to the doctors ect
i will not be easy,

good luck xxx

Answer 7

if she does not want to recover then you cant help her! she needs to want to help herself first before she can let anyone else help her, she needs somebody to trust not try to understand her. unless you have suffered from it yourself yoe would never know how it feels. anorexia is deep rooted not skin deep.
the ED is a side effect of something else that has effected her.

Answer 8

Force feed them cakes.

Answer 9

stop everything right niw becuase if you don"t it may be to late. go take them to get some help,they are not stable enough to ask or get it themselves.good luck

Answer 10

INTERVENTION