i have seen some acute examples of infidelity among some very happy couples. one of my closest friend loves his wife too much, but i know she is consistently cheating on him. I don;t want to be like him. i am really scared of my girlfriend. i love her, and she says that she does as well. we are just going to mary.
i know the fault is mine. i should trust her:not all person are alike.
pleaaase ,tell me some tips to practice trust.
2007-03-01 22:10:30 · 9 answers · asked by alone in 6billion 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wel, my parents aways fought and severly lacked trust in each other.
2007-03-01 22:19:35 · update #1
ninja!please more!
2007-03-01 22:32:06 · update #2
can u give me any site where i can counsel my trust-deficient natue-which now i think, is the result of my tortured childhood.
2007-03-01 22:33:59 · update #3
Seek some counseling before you get married -- you shouldn't bring your past or what others do into a new relationship. Eventually it will crumble through distrust and jealousy. You cannot control what someone else will do (e.g. cheating). It's life and you can't live in a bubble. You are suppose to trust until someone gives you a reason not to.
Just make the rules clear if you can't or won't deal with infidelity -- tell your partner that (if) it does happen -- that's an ultimate deal breaker in the marriage. Some people can overcome infidelity and some can't. I always think it's more fish in the sea. Why be with someone who doesn't want to be with you completely.
Just remember trust is your issue -- not your girlfriends and she should not have to prove herself over and over to satisfy you.
2007-03-01 22:24:29 · answer #1 · answered by JusMe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no universal answer to your question. I can only provide an example from my own life.
My current girlfriend, and likely wife, is someone that I initially disliked based on principle. I thought that a proud woman would not be a good fit for me. She is strong, smart, and about five inches taller than me. I have dated only taller women, but for some reason I thought that a person smarter than me could not be a good match. How wrong I was.
She and I have an intense personal life that would make no sense to other people. It's not merely a shared sense of humor -- we have similar, but not parallel senses of humor -- it's more that we respect each other's quirks.
I have found that the women I am most intensely attracted to are the women I should trust the least. I have spent much of my life being a shoulder for brooding, moody women. I cannot have a healthy relationship with people wherein I am the teacher and they are the students.
For me, then, trust is something that cannot be talked about to death. When you get to the point where you are talking about talking, the relationship is over. But when you enjoy each other's company -- reading a book, watching a movie, doing nothing -- you have found someone who will trust you as much as you trust them.
2007-03-01 22:24:32 · answer #2 · answered by God_Lives_Underwater 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something you are going to have to work on to make a relationship work. I have been in the same situation. It can rip a relationship apart. If she hasn't cheated on you, you have to let go of the fear or you will never really be happy. Maybe you could seek some therapy to work out your issues. How was your parents relationship? That usually comes into play when people have trust issues. Take it one day at a time, trust her a little bit more each day. I hope you can get to a point that you can let it go. I wish you the best.
2007-03-01 22:16:08 · answer #3 · answered by babygirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself do you have a reason to question your trust for her?
What type of relationship is it based on is it like something you saw on T.V. If you fell off a cliff could you trust her to grab your hand if you were blindfolded. Trust is like that. Marrige is a whole nother animal all together I suggest permarital counseling or have a couple that is happily married consel you if you are that serious, because saying I do is easy, but divorce with children involved and house payments is a nightmare. Trusting is a two way street are you both willing to be trustworthy?
2007-03-01 22:26:04 · answer #4 · answered by Vivianna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem in life,still do to some extent,im trying to take people at face value and if they let me down,then fair enough,but its not fair to judge everyone the same,cause everyone in this world is different,learn to take a step back ,its kinda working for me,good luck with everything and trust your girlfriend unless she gives you good reason not to.
2007-03-01 22:20:18 · answer #5 · answered by NATALIE W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is earned. You should tell your friend about his wife if you are really a friend, but i'm sure he would have some idea about his wife but chooses to ignore it.
2007-03-01 22:16:12 · answer #6 · answered by Mishell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best way to learn is start trusting unconditionaly with the knowledge that it is not so.
2007-03-01 22:14:17 · answer #7 · answered by manjunath s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do something that scares you everday, that way you will learn to trust that even though its scary it will be alright in the end :D
2007-03-01 22:14:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't practice trust and you don't learn it. You just do it. Be rational.
2007-03-01 22:13:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋