We live a fairly ordinary life kids work mortgage. My H is a great guy, good father etc who works hard. However he is really ahrd to motivate. I dont ask much of him and take care of most everything, which I dont mind atall, but sometimes, jsut sometimes I would like a bit of initialive and motivation from him. I have tried most everything but it seems that I am the motivator in the house....i dont mind it most of the tim e but now and again I wish he had more get up and go......why cant he realise that work is not enough, and what can I do to encourage him without him getting in a huff about it. Beleive me I have tried everyting from asking in a casual way to sexual favours to shouting to not doing anything in the house for a week!!!! I do accept him for who he is and in everything else he is a fab husband, but it is exhausting being the sole person in the house with any motivation and we always end up arguing about it. I know he gets tired, but good grief!
2007-03-01 21:04:17 · 14 answers · asked by The Real Mrs Incredible 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he was so easily motivated by you he would be your puppet......be thankful you have a husband who is a good father and works hard. There are many of single women who would do anything to have what you have.
Accept who he is and he'll probably want to change just to please you
2007-03-01 21:09:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop moaning and shouting and coddling him - you are treating him like a child. Talk to him, like an adult, like you have to us. Tell him exactly how you feel and be specific about what you would like him to do, how often and when. For instance - it would really help me if, on a monday you could collect the kids from school and cook supper. Tell him the difference itwould make to your life and your relationship - then I could get that paperwork done at the beginning of the week so I'm not so tired on a friday and we can have some special time together. Do this calmly and in an adult fashion without shouting or whining. I think you will be surprised how easy it is.
2007-03-02 05:50:25 · answer #2 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bloke is the same...ive tried everything he just finds it funny wen i moan about doin all the house work i've even got the horse whip out on him n chased him round the house beggin him to just hoover lol there is no use!! i dont think there is a way men r all the same well not all of them most thou!! lol
2007-03-02 05:26:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If food or sex don't work, do things on your own. Go out and enjoy yourself with your friends, put him in a position where he has to do things. Find something you would both like to do, if you are keen, he may well follow and join in later on if not joining in at first. Good luck
2007-03-02 05:13:10 · answer #4 · answered by rikerlock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop cooking. He'll cook when he's hungry. Stop cleaning. He'll clean when it gest too dirty. Stop doing his laundry. He'll do it when he runs out of underwear to turn inside out.
Personally, I don't cook, my lover does. We clean together or we don't clean at all. If you both work, house work should be 50/50. If you stay at home, get him to agree to cook a few dinners a week. The rest would be your job.
2007-03-02 05:15:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U have no reason to complain as his habits have come about due to ur own over indulgence. Show patience and see if it works. Do not judge him by ur standards of performance but his own.
2007-03-02 05:59:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate. the only exciting thing i can get him to do is go grocery shopping and this really excite him. And this is a sad situation. The sex part i can do with out.
2007-03-02 05:08:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ar so nice to him.pl keep it up.
take him to a psychiatristtry to get into his mind .
ready book on body languages and then apply it to read his mind.
you can motivate him.
wish you good luck.
don't lose heart and hope'
keep trying.
2007-03-02 07:18:33 · answer #8 · answered by NQS 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men need to be trained. period. you just have to find ur niche and what works for you. and if you cant make him do it, just do everything urself. if he really loves you, he'll see that its too much for you to do on your own and help you out!
2007-03-02 05:09:16 · answer #9 · answered by bucknakid14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Insert a stick of dynamite up his jacksy, that might help.
2007-03-02 05:08:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋