how to get your wife back from an affair?

Question

wifes having an affair with a patient she looked after (mental)we have 6 kids what should i do

i should show her im moving on

my kids are my life and would love to keep them permanatly

she left the marrital home in january keeps trying to ring the kids but i dont answear the phone and have told her if she wants to see them its at the marrital home on sundays between 2 and 4 put she does not come?t

Answer 1

sucker punch him tell him to clear off or else, then go home and do same to her.

Answer 2

Here are some suggestions:


Where? Definitely not in front of the kids. Try finding a room in the house where you have privacy and where you can sit across from one another.


When? Usually not when you are ready to blow a gut. At that point, it is better to go and work out, or go to the neighbors, cool off for a bit, and then come back to whatever it was that was bothering you. If possible, agree on a time with your husband when you will discuss your relationship.


How? How to argue is really an art that most of us never learn. Putting each other down is the best way to get into a lose-lose situation. In other words, neither side gains when you both start name-calling. Try to keep to the issues at hand without insulting each other. Another technique is to rephrase what your spouse has said before you continue so that you are certain that you have understood him.


Now this may all see a bit farfetched to you, and indeed when you are seething with anger, it probably is. The idea is that, when you are so angry, you have to get yourself back together, before getting on with the argument.


If you both love each other and are committed to the relationship, finding quiet time away from the kids is a real relationship builder. Going out to dinner, or on a date can put some of the spark back into your relationship.


Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I think the question should be how do you deal with a fool hearted man? You said your kids are your life! What do you need a wife for? Or did you find out that Mothers job wasn't all that easy. Most men only want their wives back because they cant tote the rope like she did!
Let me guess she was a Wife, (who took last seat to the kids) Mother, ( who put you and her children first) Working Woman ( Above all else she work a job.) You don't need a wife hire a maid and and babysitter see if they will work as cheap as their mother did. There is no difference in having a wife that does all that then is ignored and disrespected. As far as her having an affair with a mental patient its priceless. At least I dont have to wonder what drove her to it!

Answer 4

You must have some guts, and a lot of trust to try and keep her. My ex husband had an affair and I couldnot trust him again, a leopard never changes his/her spots. After 14 years and a divorce I never looked back. I think you should have a good chance of keeping the kids due to her infidelity, and I wish you good luck. It's entirely up to you if you try and keep the marriage from breaking up, I'm just gving my advice, do you feel you can trust her again, and will she come back. She may be looking for an easy escape, but she will have a job on with a mental patient. I know that I'd rather be a mother to my kids first, I could never leave them.Good luck and follow your heart.

Answer 5

Didn't like my advice I gave earlier, huh?

Maybe if you appeared to be moving on, she would see that she is losing something. Otherwise, she knows she can go have fun and return to play house with you when her current fling gets old. Theres no reason in her eyes to stop having an affair at this time! She has the security of a long standing marriage waiting on her while she also gets to have a boyfriend...do u not see this?

Answer 6

If you are serious about wanting your wife back for her not just for the kids then you need to look carefully about what has been happening in your relationship over the last few years. People who are happy in their relationships don't have affairs and both partners are responsible for the happiness in their relationships. Often what the other partner is looking for is not sex but something emotional they are not getting at home. What have you not been providing your wife emotionally? Only if you can face this honestly and show her that will change can you hope to win her back. And then you must both admit your mistakes and forgive them in each other.

However if you just want the children then forget it - you will make everyone unhappy.

Answer 7

haha sorry angela p you missed the WIFE part so quick to assume the man cheated hmmm?
Get back at her? Get proof she cheated then get custody of the kids and child support... bam ... she'll need mental health siminars after paying that child support. Although women can be dirty hoes and they usually don't take the kids... but let the man cheat in the marrage its a scary sight. Good luck.... oh if you wanted to get nasty just say you had to go to the doc's and they said you had an STD of some sort.

Answer 8

Depending on his level of mental illness, what she is doing is a breach of confidence, and about the same as taking advantage of a minor. She may need to see a mental health specialist herself.She should quit and/or seek help. If not, do you really want this person helping you raise your kids. Whatever you decide, the children's well fare should be your main concern.

Answer 9

i think you have to ask why is she having an affair before you try to get her back from it .Did she marry young? does she feel all she is wife and mother and this guy makes her feel like a woman find the answer to these things and you should have a good grounding as to why the affair started . Start by being honest with yourself did she get the attention she should have from you

Answer 10

At the risk of losing her, To get her back you must put her out.
She is misgudied and needs to find out what she stands to lose.
Show her the door. She will either come back or not.

In any case you have not said that it is over with this guy. That would be a condition for spending
any more time under my roof.

Answer 11

First if you are certain that she is having an affair, confront her about it and let her know that you are willing to try to salvage your marriage. If she is not willing to end the relationship she is having, then you need to seek out a divorce attorney. If that is the case you will also want to find a competent Counsellor for yourself and your children to deal with the trauma of divorce. Good luck to you.