He says she misundersatood his kindness but he was always going to see her take her out and spend time with her and worse still he kept this from me. Now she claims he wanted to force her into sex, but he was never physical and did not even propose it in words.
However they had a relationship beyond normal am hurt by it especially because my husband is involved ,How does one explain their affir?
2007-03-01 19:56:30 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
dunno... sounds like he wants something, and so does she... maybe just mutual companionship...
if that is your husband, then maybe you should have an affair and show him that "what is sauce for the goose.........."
try an online affair, and leave lots of hints about how unhappy you are...
2007-03-01 20:00:31 · answer #1 · answered by Forlorn Hope - returned 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to sit down and have a heart to heart with your husband. I will tell you...DO NOT take "her" word for anything. She will lie just to hurt you or get evn with him. Of ourse she will play the innocent victim. Do not buy into it for any reason. Now, he was in the wrong for keeping this from you, but she knew what she was doing. The truth is you will probably never get "the whole truth and nothing but the truth". You have to make a decision as to whether you want to stay and work out whatever issues there may be in your marriage. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone deserves a second chance. I am female, and I have had to deal with a manipulative woman before where my hubby was concerned. They have no scruples or morals, no self esteem, and will do and say anything to get what they want. Leave her out of the conversations and work this out with your husband. She may say she did not want anything from him...well if that was the case, she could have spent time or gone out with a single man or with one of her girlfriends. These women like this kill me. They are the reason so many men cheat. They manipulate their way into their lives and "befriend" them and then seduce them or manipulate them. I do not know too many men strong enough to turn them away with all thier compliments et etc. Its all part of there game. Then when the man realizes he is or has been F'ing up, they want to turn it around and make it like your man was pursuing them. NO, DO NOT LISTEN TO HER!!! She has an agenda.
2007-03-02 10:49:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They may not have "consummated" their affair, but it was an affair nonetheless. "Misunderstood his kindness?" That sounds like a load of malarkey to me. Why was he going to see "her to take her out and spend time with her?" That is something you do with your wife, not another woman.
My husband (when he was still my fiance') took another woman to lunch and she began calling all the time. He said she was just a friend and that he took her to lunch because he was hungry and she was hungry. I know men can be dense sometimes (save the angry responses please), but this was beyond the pale.
He finally admitted that he was attracted to her and that the idea of marriage and commitment scared him. I offered him the opportunity to opt out of our wedding to leave himself free to carry on like this. But he would do it without me waiting in the wings like some second string quarterback.
When faced with that decision, he decided that he didn't want to risk our relationship by being a poop head. So after some serious premarital counseling with our pastor and him living a very open and transparent life, we went ahead with the wedding. That was 17 years ago and we are still going strong.
If the man involved is your husband, you absolutely need marital counseling. You need to know you can trust him again and a counselor can help the two of you work together on that.
Additionally, he may need to do some serious "getting real" thinking to find out why he was willing to play into this woman's manipulations.
I wish you the best.
2007-03-02 04:25:11 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's three sides to every story: his, hers, & what really happened. It sounds to me like he was considering having an affair with this other woman, but he didn't follow through for whatever reason. You may want to seek marriage counseling, because there has to be something he was getting from her that he feels he's not getting from you. It isn't necesarily sexual either.
2007-03-02 04:11:35 · answer #4 · answered by peanut g 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like an emotional affair. She is depending on him. She is taking that energy from what he should be giving it to you.
It needs to stop.
You are entitled to being deeply hurt.
Get some counseling
2007-03-02 04:25:46 · answer #5 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your hubby is really in deep trouble. He obviously has mislead the other woman to think that he is interested in her. I guess your hubby has to explain it to her to avoid further damage to your marriage. Anyways, he started it right?
2007-03-02 04:18:46 · answer #6 · answered by happy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain it? Why would you want them to? Hurt hell, I would be so mad, I would be spitting nails. And he would be gone.
2007-03-02 04:16:59 · answer #7 · answered by misstigeress 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋