I am not a feminist, but I why am I experiencing this problem?

Question

Whenever I see men complaining
that their wives aren't cooking them meals of their choice,
or that their wives want to go to work but are restrained because their husbands think that they should be spending more time at home
or that women should only work in a time of a crisis,
or that women cannot adjust at work so they should dedicate their time at home doing simple tasks…

Do I have no right to be a bit upset and complain? I guess that makes me a feminist for some, but really I just want both sexes to have equal right. I am so glad my parents are not like this. They have no problem with me earning, even if it means earning more. But there are some people I know who have this attitude and it's upsetting because although they let their children have an education, it seems that it’s wasted.

I suppose thats true El.

The belief about women serving men isn't wrong and I agree with you as long as the women enjoys nutring their men. But when the men restrain her from doing what she wants, but then expects her to do what they want, that's what gets to me. I agree, she should go ahead and work, I wish these women woke up.

banerjeeutsav, I agree nothing wrong with feminism but today the word is interpreted by many as something else, that feminists want more rights and not the same. My definion of feminism fits yours.

"The 'backlash' has made your generation afraid to self-identify as feminists for fear of being ridiculed as a man hater"... agree Baba Yoga, but it is happening. So I'd rather be called an equalist.

Answer 1

"I am not a feminist BUT...

The 'backlash' has made your generation afraid to self-identify as feminists for fear of being ridiculed as a man hater or worse, a lesbian. Feminism is not about wanting to be like a man—it is about basic human rights and equality. On some (intuitive) level you sense this - yet it is not a part of your conscious reasoning. Things just aren't adding up. Something is wrong with the math here..but what is it exactly?? In time, you will gain in self-assurance and self-respect. You will look back and marvel that you ever took the opinions of these pathetic slobs seriously. In other words, you are on the right track: it's always darkest before the dawn.
EDIT:
People will still ridicule you - no matter the 'label" you choose to affix. People will believe what they want to believe: education (as pointed out elsewhere) makes a big difference and so does travel. You probably find it hard to believe right now but as your grow older you will become increasingly LESS likely to "suffer fools gladly." Do your own thing - who cares if other people don't like it? That's their problem, NOT yours. Remember, if you're not happy - if you are depressed and miserable - how on earth do you expect to make anyone else 'happier". You can't. You come FIRST; then the other pieces of the puzzle will more easily fall into place.

Answer 2

I do understand you. I married a man that always treated me as his equal. He also allowed me to choose what I wanted to do with in reason.

The man is the hunter/provider and the woman is the nurture.

I feel that a woman should take time out to raise her children. I did and it was my choice.

When my youngest was 14, I went to work. I now wish I would have waited 4 more years.

My additional income allowed us the extra things in life. We bought a cabin in the mountains with my income. We had some nice vacations too.

Now that we are retired I get a retirement check. I feel I'm still making a contribution towards our marriage.

I was lucky enough to feel equal to my man when I married in the 50's.

When women burned their bra's, time began to change and women were treated somewhat more equal in the work place.

That was a good thing, but now most women have gone too far and now their morals have deteriorated to the point that I believe it will in the end be their demise.

We need women, to make the world a better place. My time is passing. I hope women will soon realize the power they have to make things better for all.

Answer 3

It is just plain stupid. I share your opinion. I believe people are equal, men and women should share the responsibilities that come with the house, kids, jobs etc. That women belong in the house is so old fashioned and while some old fashioned things are good, that's stupid. Everyone should be able to work, cook, mow the yard if they want without it being a "man's" or "woman's" job or duty. I think it would be good if one parent can be home to raise the kids like parents work on different shifts so someone is there but a woman shouldn't have to stay home and be there 24/7 if she wants to work.

Answer 4

That belief about women serving men isn't completely bad/wrong. A lot women really enjoy nurturing their men. But complaining about food made with love is not right at all.

Also, if a woman wants to work, she should go ahead, her husband isn't the boss of her. Besides, it will make more income and they'll be able to take vacations to nicer places.

Answer 5

Darn feminists.... I'm going to go bake a cake.
Doesn't anyone realize that we had it made in the 50's? I've done a lot of construction jobs in my lifetime, and I have to say that now instead of being expected to do some laundry and cook we are expected to do all that and have a job. I'm serious...I'm going to bake a cake right now and then prolly sleep until 9 am. Have fun at work, sug, supper will be ready when you get home but I'll be at the salon.

Answer 6

A feminist is defined as "someone who fights for or believes in woman's rights." I understand why you are feeling unsatisfied with how some people react. You DO have a right to be upset about it; it's woman's nature to be sympathetic and caring. Of course, you'll feel other woman's pain, but she needs to step up and fights for her own rights as well. That's where education you said comes in. Some people are narrow-minded, or not educated well enough. You also need to consider tradition, such as in Chinese families, men are believed to be superior to women period.

Answer 7

Astute observation of a "chronic compainer" gone professional and tormenting the world at large with his off certer views. Do not bore yourself with the sickening ritual of osmotic proscesses from learned behaviors. This cannot be changed or very little modified. It is best to amuse yourself with pleasentries and benefits for yourself and others. Be careful what you watch. Remember these people chose one another for better or worse.

Answer 8

Yeah you do. Some men haven't figured out that times have changed and women can go out into the job world like men.

It's not their faults, it's how they were raised. I guess you got to love hm out of it

Answer 9

i don't know if ur are a feminist or not. what i can say is that there's nothing wrong in being a feminist. a feminist is one who believes in the equality of sexes. i believe that.

Answer 10

you are feminist.