How do you deal with compulsive liars?

Question

My boyfriend lies to me all the time about stupid things. An example could be what he ate for breakfast. He has done this since the beginning of our relationship (about a year and a half). He not only lies to me, but also his friend and family. What gets me is that I catch him in a lie and he still tries to pull it off. What is going on with that? Is there any type of therapy that he could go to, to fix it? Or does anyone have any idea of why he might do this?..thank you!

Answer 1

get him out of your life.

Answer 2

I would say the reason why he does it could be because he had to lie when he was younger to his parents either because they had high expectations or to avoid getting into trouble. It is a habit for him now whatever the reason why he does it.

It must be really dificult for you to put up with - especially because trust in a relationship is one of the most important things. I personallly find this type of person hard to deal with because i am the opposite! I am really honest (sometimes too much so!)

My husband has trouble being open with me. His father is very closed even though he is nice - but he wouldnt even know what a feeling was! (exaggeration) My husband has only lied to me about smoking but i hated it. I couldnt understand it. If he was a compulsive lier i would make him go and get counselling otherwise i would not want to contine our relationship (because i need to trust someone when i am being intimate and sharing my life with them). I wonder if you are feeling the same way?

I really believe if he goes to counselling it would help - BUT he would need to want to go. And this could be the problem. I would suggest that you dont put up with it anymore. If he really likes you and his relationship with you is important, then this may trigger him to want to do something about it. You can only hope! Otherwise he might not be very good for you. (sorry to say)

Wish you all the best. I am sure it will work out for the best either way. Just dont put up with it anymore. You deserve a partner that is honest and that you can trust.

xoxo

Answer 3

His parents could have been harsh on him when he was younger, and so hes afraid to tell the truth. Or maybe he's just trying to impress you by telling you things you like. Like, maybe he knows you don't like a certain thing he ate for breakfast, so he lies and says he ate something that he knows you like. I'm not sure, but yea there is therapy out there.

Answer 4

Emily, there must be a reason for his conduct. Have you asked him? I wonder why you continue in the relationship? How are you served by having as a bf someone whose word you can't trust? What benefits are you getting out of this relationship? If you believe you are getting more out of the relationship than the cost of tolerating his lying, then work with him to overcome this habit. Yes, therapy will help. He needs it. You might even consider couples therapy with him. Good luck.

Answer 5

He might really be trying to impress you, or friend's, family or whatever. He might of started lying when he was a kid to get attention. Like I ate eggs and toast for breakfast, when he really ate a pint of ice-cream. I am sure that there is therapy out there for him. But it might be a deep-rooted psychological problem. My advice is get rid of him, because as time go's on, it will get worse. A relationship can never work without honesty.

Answer 6

I don't know about therapy, please call a counseling center in your area to find out. Compulsive lying sounds like pathological lying. It probably for him started early in life, and he may not realize that he is doing it, it has become too natural to him. I once a long time ago came across a guy who was a pothological liar, and as soon as I could, got him out of my life. I wish you the best. Take care.

Answer 7

Make him prove his story and ask WHY DID YOU LIE ABOUT.....?
But do not lie to him unless you want the battle of your life. It is unknown why some people lie for no reason, could it be a chemical imbalance...? but compulsive liars tend to get real mad when they are lied to. I guess the game is no fun and the feel out witted.

Answer 8

He lies about little things because he doesn't think it's a big deal. There's really no way to convince him that it is - that kind of mindset has to come from within himself.

If you can handle being with a liar, then accept it. If not, move on and find someone else, because it's useless to try and change someone if they don't want to change themselves.

Answer 9

That is a total turn off. Why don't you call him on his lies EVERY TIME he does it? I had a friend who was like that and one day I just totally blew up at her and pretty much told her she was the biggest compulsive liar I knew. And that was the end of our friendship, but damn I was happier without her!

Answer 10

I have a friend like this and it drives me nuts.She tells me she,s been on nights out when she hasnt(seen her grocery shopping in track suit),about all the money she,s saved up(seen bills lying in her house demanding payment) that every twinge or ailment she has the doctor says it,s serious,that a guy she met 6 months ago keeps harrasing her with phone calls(met him recently and he said it,s her calling him(and i believe him)It really is like she cant help herself and like you if i confront her about something she,ll try and talk her self out of it by lying even more.Insecure, lonely maybe mad!!

Answer 11

get out my dad and his family treated my mother the same way, and would act s***** in front of us, now I am a young man, and my dad still lies to my mom. I seen this growing up and it was painful to se his family talk bad about my mom, and the times he cheated and I got hit for telling girls he had a girlfriend, whom was my mom. My grandmother I have no respect for her, she was evil to my mother, that family will never change...COOKOO!