Married almost 4 years... no kids, but beloved dog and house.
He says he knew he was gay b4 we married. While I want to strangle him, I also want him (and I) to be happy... how do I get to happy from this mess????
2007-03-01 16:55:25 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
What now? Look after the number one you poor soul. Make sure you try to stay calm and do what makes you happy...at the moment your well being and happiness should be P1 (priority no.1)!
It's unfortunate that you and your husband were destined to meet and love but not to last.
If finance and time permit, take a long trip around the world or at least to some exotic places. Hopefully events which will take place along your travel will inspire and encourage you to persue your happiness. You need time on your own to reflect what has happened, why it happened and how you can best move forward. If that doesn't work, seek counselling - before the separation/divorce of course (that way you will have to bear all the counselling costs - I know this is very cheeky. But realists aim not to leave themselves short-changed nor to rip-off others either). Everything has a price tag - even love.
Bonne chance et courage!
2007-03-01 23:03:42 · answer #1 · answered by J T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-12-20 15:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're love for him was based on sexual attraction, then you have to accept that his feeling toward you was never mutual. That's a hard pill to swallow, but no matter how much you want to strangle him, you won't be able to change him. Once you get past the anger, sit down and talk with him, and work together on what steps should come next. Since you've been together 4 years, surely you both can maturely discuss a happy resolution as to what is now going to be best for you. He was wrong to use you as what us gays refer to as a "beard" to hide his orientation from the world. James McGreavey (former mayor of NJ) did the same thing to his wife. BTW, he filed for divorce just last month.
2007-03-01 17:39:24 · answer #3 · answered by C-Bag 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear the fact is your husband knew before you two were wed.
You did nothing wrong but he sure did by not being up front honest with you.
Better now you hear this than anymore wasted years invested into this marriage.
OR do you two want to work it out?
Can your love be just as strong knowing that trust has been broken?
Now that you have all the cards out on the table, how are you going to deal this hand?
Fold or reshuffle? The cards are in your hand's not ours.
Do what you feel comfortable at.
2007-03-01 17:25:32 · answer #4 · answered by Bluelady... 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oftentimes in one in each and every of those difficulty i could respond by skill of telling the guy to end the courting, because of the fact if he's gay he's gay, and that generally skill that a intercourse existence and true love isn't a hazard if he's gay. yet you're saying he has no problems with intercourse, so as that does make it kinda complicated. And in case you have toddlers, then yeah, that makes it much greater complicated. finally, i think of which you the two could desire to confirm a courting counselor asap. And he needs to confirm some variety of therapist to talk the sexual attack. there are lots of people who conceal it for years and then it fairly is going to genuinely comes back up down the line, which skill he hasn't have been given over it yet and he needs to get some help asap.
2016-09-30 02:27:00 · answer #5 · answered by lachermeier 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your marriage is over, he cannot give you the physical needs that a straight man can give you. He will also want to create physicla and mental relationships with other men. So I think you need to divorce him. This in no way means that you cannot remain close your husband as friends.
It was wrong of him to marry you if he knew he was Gay, but it does not mean the end of the world.
2007-03-01 19:19:15 · answer #6 · answered by benn26k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, he told you that his gay but deep in his heart, he wanted to see if hes feelings would change if he married you and work out his feelings. But as the years went by, he had to face fact that hes gay but i know deep down in his heart he really did loved you and maybe he still does. Just accept the change and move on with life.
2007-03-01 19:01:56 · answer #7 · answered by true_2_1_self 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he's gay. He's just using it as an excuse to get out of your relationship and not give you a reason to check up on him. Probably sleeping with another woman, wants you to think it's a man.
Test him out and find a really good looking man that goes both ways and bring him home for you and your husband.
2007-03-01 17:50:06 · answer #8 · answered by Steve T. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce.
Since you and him didnt have any kids and such you wont have that baggage. You two should remain good friends and enjoy eachothers happiness. Dont be bitter about it though because that will just cause you more grief. Im sorry that your husband didnt have the courage to tell you before you two got married.
Live Love Laugh Learn.
2007-03-01 17:04:07 · answer #9 · answered by D.Allman 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You take some time to heal. Preferably with little contact with him for awhile. And when you've had your space, and your time to essentially mourn a loss, you decide if he is still someone you want in your life. If not, that's understandable and ok. If so, then it is possible for you two to still be good friends. It might be helpful for you to talk to a counselor about the whole situation.
2007-03-01 17:36:07 · answer #10 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋