I know that this will probably seem like a really stupid question to most people. But at the risk of sounding like a loser...Should I be worried about first time sex?? I'm a virgin and I'm 23. Yep, I bit of a late starter. I just feel really intimidated around guys that I like because I know that they are all quite experienced. At times I feel like I'm just stressing over nothing...but then other times I totally freak out about it. It's pretty pathetic. I would like to hold out for someone special, but then I think...maybe I should get some experience under my belt so I don't disappoint him when the time comes. I know this is pretty petty, but I'm feeling very isolated at the moment and would love any comments people might have. And if you're feeling open enough... I'd love to hear peoples thoughts about their own first time...
2007-03-01 16:10:35 · 19 answers · asked by Jeschmit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well, if you get married and the guy is disapointed that you are a virgin, you come and tell us, i'm sure we will beat his sorry behind from here to the other side of the world
a guy would be very pleased and impressed that you saved yourself for him, its something wonderfull, don't worry about the experience, if he is half a man he will respect you for it and also teach you too, so wait till you have the right one
2007-03-01 16:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by zether 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well Hun i thought i had the perfect answer but then thinking of how the world is today you are doomed either way. You have come this far don't throw it all away for some experience now. When you meet that special someone he will understand and it will not be a problem. The MOST important thing is for you not to worried you are going to disappoint him. As he will be worried about if he will disappoint YOU. It is kind of like drugs you say all the guys you know are experienced they do it all the time then they happen over to you for sex .What to do JUST SAY NO and be proud of it.
2007-03-01 16:39:13 · answer #2 · answered by coldgin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While on one hand it's easier when you're younger and you're not so worried about what to expect, on the other, there's nothing wrong with waiting, either. The problem that you are experiencing is that you are getting older and more mature, and you are giving the actual act more credence as you go along.
When I was in my teens, my feeling was that I wanted to get it over with, rather than anticipating what this thing was all about, so when my first opportunity came along - I took it! Just to get that awkwardness out of the way.
Not that what I decided was good or bad, but the fact was that I would wonder like you, and felt that I needed to know what it was all about. I was pretty disappointed, that first time. I said to myself, what was the big deal? It's great if you're with someone who you really have feelings for and are attracted to, but not much if you don't. I've learned that it's what you make it, and what it means to you. It's a personal experience to everyone.
While I'm not suggesting you run out tomorrow and find the first available person, I am telling you that once I got it out of the way, it didn't suddenly seem to be this big looming thing that I had to get over with! Almost like getting a shot (especially when you're afraid of needles). You spend more time worrying about it and anticipating it, than it's actually worth. Once you've gone through it, you can get on with things :) and that feeling of being intimidated will disappear!
2007-03-01 16:33:52 · answer #3 · answered by Plexed 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of guys are honored to be your first time. Your first time won't be a rowdy romp suitable for Penthouse, but you do get better (and so does the sex).
I would absolutely wait for someone special. My standards have always been that I wouldn't have sex (at least not sex as President Clinton defined it which does leave a lot of leeway for sexual behavior) with someone that I wouldn't be willing to spend the rest of my life with.
And I talk a big game here I know but honestly Jesch? At 25 I'm still a virgin too. It's not something to feel pathetic or freaked out about. Sometimes you just don't find that right guy until later in life. Don't go out give up your virginity just because you feel that you should. Share that part of yourself with someone who deserves it.
(In the meantime, practice the art of self-pleasure. Once you know what you like then you can share that with your future special someone.)
Hope this helps.
2007-03-01 16:22:55 · answer #4 · answered by LX V 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You won't disappoint the right one by not having experience. Trust me, when you love someone and the time is right you figure out how all of it works best together. My first time was with the man who is now my husband, although we did not wait until we were married. Don't feel isolated, you are not the only virgin out there, and certainly not the only person who freaks out about sex. I would think that any quality guy would be flattered that you waited for the time to be right rather than just having a one night stand to get it over with.
2007-03-01 16:20:07 · answer #5 · answered by n2mama 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey, there's nothing wrong to be a virgin. Even some people want to remain as virgins until their wedding day!
As for me, I'm always curious about sex and wanting to explore more. I had my first time with my then bf. I was 22. It was fabulous. Ever since then, we had it few times a day. And i can assure you, you will enjoy it. You might be nervous for the 1st time, and believe me, guys are willing to help and educate the non-experience ones. So don't worry. And you don't need to hurry too. Just do it when the right one & right moment come along!
2007-03-01 16:19:20 · answer #6 · answered by Troy Girl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that would disappoint someone who truly loves you is that you would casually give away your virginity simply so you could get some "experience under your belt". Congratulations on waiting this long and keep it up. There is someone truly special for you and when that moment comes, if you feel you need some help, consult websites or buy a book. Good luck.
2007-03-01 16:15:40 · answer #7 · answered by stseukn 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i'm curious how come you havent found anyone yet, your 23 are you afraid of dating? are you religous? do you go out? if you put yourself out there and try dating you'll probably find someone your comfortable enough with and wont worry about the sex. guys are wierd they like girls that dont know everything (except maybe if they are just looking for p*ssy then they want an experienced girl) but it sounds like your looking for a guy thats looking for a relationship and those type of guys want to be the experienced ones, so that they feel special and can teach you the ropes. don't stress just get out more and find the right guy that you feel your comfortable with.
2007-03-01 16:21:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There was a person on here earlier who was like 32 or something and still a virgin. I say find a guy you like, and can hang out with a couple times, have a glass of wine and see what happens. I don't think you'll be very nervous during the act, there's too much going on. You might have some anxiety after you do it. Don't worry about it.
2007-03-01 16:20:38 · answer #9 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My first time sucked lol but it was just because of the person. I say wait until you feel ready, you will know when you are ready. Do not rush just to get it out the way. Most guys I know would rather you be a virigin....so why not wait until you feel its something special and worth waiting for.
2007-03-01 16:34:19 · answer #10 · answered by Miss Caramel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋