controlling/insecure/sometimes violent husband?
I am stay home mom and HE is controlling of everything, I need a car and he is very angry about that, even when I say I will get ajob to pay for it.
He just wont budge and I have been in th ehouse for 3 straight weeks with our kid while he is out of town working.
I am going mad being prisoner in his house.
What do I do?
2007-03-01 15:53:25 · 19 answers · asked by Bitsy B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would walk up to him and say " Hey I am a person, taking care of our kids at home all of the time and I need a car incase of an emergency with the kids or if I need to go out and get something, and if you don't like it then I guess you have little to no respect for my wants and needs and I should leave" You are a person not living at home with your parents and old enough to make decisions on your own!
2007-03-01 16:01:01 · answer #1 · answered by Chandra H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You really do need a car if you are alone with a child in case of illness, accident or emergency. Have you tried telling him this?If money is tight maybe that is what makes him angry. If he is violent and hits you then this is not a marriage that you should stay in. maybe you could both go to a marriage counselor for help or to your local pastor or priest. If the violence continues there are places you can go to if you live in a big town that look after abused women.Depending on where you live you could take the child for a walk or in a stroller to get out of the house.good luck.
2007-03-02 00:08:52 · answer #2 · answered by curiously me 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Crazy!! Grab your things and your children sign those divorce papers and run. Get far away from him as possible. And it sounds to me he doesn't want you to have a car just so that you can't go any where. He might be cheating and don't want you to find out about it, because with a car you might spot him out with his fling. But go now!! Call your familiy members and explain your situation, find somewhere safe to go and go to your local police station and file a restraining order against him. Tell the police that you are being abused by your husband and you and your children don't feel safe. Sorry to say if you don't want to and up in the hospital or in a body bag, leave his crazy a**.
2007-03-02 00:11:15 · answer #3 · answered by attheendofmyrope 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not even talk to a violent husband without support. Get some reinforcements over to your house to help you get out of there! It doesn't matter who--parents, siblings, friends--anyone. If you don't have that, ask for a police escort because this sounds quite serious. The first step is to leave. The second step is to talk to a family attorney and discuss how your husband should have little to no rights in regard to your child. Keep that kid safe!
2007-03-02 00:08:58 · answer #4 · answered by mhlsister 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do your thing. Go get a job. Buy a car with your own money. Don't change what you do by what he or anybody has to say about it. Grow some skin if he pushes back. Just don't let his control act work on you. If you do that, one of two things will happen. He will get used to it, or he will leave. If he gets abusive, then you leave. In any case you will be alot happier. Think of it as dealing with YOU not dealing with HIM.
2007-03-02 00:50:08 · answer #5 · answered by Campo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you listen to anyone...listen to me!
I was married to a man who burned my clothes, hid my keys, beat me up, took my money, anything to keep me under his control. Leave while he's not there. I'm sure there is someone in your life who desperately wants you out of that situation. It could be someone in your family or one of your friends. I'm sure they would be willing to take you in until you could get on your feet.
It's a very scary process. I had to get a restraining order and live with my mom and brother for awhile. However, they never felt burdened. They were just relieved I was out of that situation.
It takes guts. Be strong for your child. Do you really want your son to grow up and treat a woman that way or your daughter to grow up thinking it's okay to be treated like that by a man.
There are many many resources out there for single mothers and domestic violence victims. He may not have ever hit you, that doesn't mean he's not abusing you.
I left my husband over 7 years ago. It's the best thing I ever did for my children and myself. He died of a drug overdose almost a year ago. I couldn't imagine what our lives would have been like if I would have been with him all that time.
He's been the monster in my life. When he was still alive I'd have nightmares about being back together with him. I'd wake up in a panic thinking "I have to get away!"
Trust me HE WILL NOT CHANGE! It will only get worse from here.
2007-03-02 00:08:44 · answer #6 · answered by jess119mah 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
U can't really deal with him until you deal with yourself. Do some serious soul searching and come up with a solution right for you and your child. Your child observes more than you think and the way you allow yourself to be treated will affect him or her more than you will ever know. There is a lot of help out there for you, but until you really, truly want it, it is going to do no good. You and your child deserve the best.
2007-03-02 00:03:43 · answer #7 · answered by TNP Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now before it is too late!! Since he is out of town this is your chance!! No one deserves to be a prisoner in their own home let alone life and there is nothing wrong with you getting a car and a job so you can get out for a bit!!
2007-03-01 23:56:44 · answer #8 · answered by pqr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation didnt just suddenly start. It's apparantly been going on over a period of time. Since he's out of town, why can you not do whatever you need to do to be self sufficient??? I'm confused, has he tied you up in the house, that you're unable to leave???
2007-03-01 23:59:28 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The determining factor is "sometimes violent". A relationship that is violent is not healthy and will eventually be deadly.
Also why does your child not go to school. Or do they?
2007-03-02 00:04:56 · answer #10 · answered by Bullfrog21 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋