Are do-gooders selfish?

Question

We have all met people that stop and drop everything and lend a helping hand to to others. I often wonder, what is the motivation for this kind of behaviour? I have come the conclusion that one of the reasons that they help people is for the reason that it makes them FEEL GOOD about doing it. So are these type of people with this kind of motivation selfish? They are not doing the act to geniunly help the person, they are doing it because it makes them feel good? Therefore their motivation is selfish. Agree? disagree?

Answer 1

Hi My H,
In a way you are right, because : "helping others", makes us feel good.....
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But, when most people define selfishness, they don't view that as selfishness.. because the thing that makes you feel good is caring about the well-being of others....
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A true giver, is one that does so because they feel the pain of others.... They have compassion... Nothing more... We do not like to see others suffer (those of us that are decent) ....
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Thanks, for the question!;)

My regards!

Take care!

Answer 2

Disagree because the other person still benefits and that must be calculated in. It's not enough to label it as selfish behavior. However, if it’s being done and something is expected in return then that changes things.

Another perspective: It may not be about the taker or the giver, but about the situation and unmet needs, sometimes conscious, sometimes subconscious. Maybe it's not to help others or make themselves feel better. Maybe the givers life is out of control (but unaware) and the only way they can feel some sense of control is to assist others when they need it. Then the giver doesn’t feel useless and the receiver actually helps the giver.

Lots of variables to consider.

Answer 3

Everyone's selfish. Though, often, people don't even do good things because it makes them feel good. It makes the LOOK good. I shouldn't say that. I do good things and I've spent a long time wondering why. I've come to the conclusion that it's worse not to, you know? However selfish it is, at least someone benifits from it.

Answer 4

I find it part of my nature. It's like if someone was to try hitting me i would naturally flinch. If someone is struggling with opening a door I naturally hold it open. If someone is having a bad day I naturally listen. It is my nature. I suppose some could be doing it out of a selfish nature to get something but eventually that will wear off. Why do you do good things for others? If it is selfish is it really good or just manipulative? A means to an end.

Answer 5

From dictionary.com:

selfish - adjective

1.devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2.characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself

Both definitions imply no regard for the well-being of others ("regardless of others", "care 'only' for oneself").

While it is true that part of do-gooders' motivation is often to make themselves feel good about doing it, I'd argue that most of the time their actions also show some regard for others. After all, there are other things that they could do that could also make them feel good, but which don't help other people. So I wouldn't say they're usually being selfish as such. Not 100% altruistic, but not selfish either.

Answer 6

well Im a do-gooder and yes part of it is because it makes you feel good about yourself, but also because you feel this conscience inside you telling you to help that person and if you don't do as your conscience says you will feel guilty for not helping that person. Plus I can easily sympathize with others. Also, because im a very righteous individual and whenever I do something bad I feel guilty, I can't live with the guilt that I feel from doing something bad. Its part of your personality, your beliefs; part of your nature.


Everyone is not shelfish, the most unselfish thing a person could do is sacrifice themselves for someon else, meaning that a person whould gain nothing in return for someone else's well being. In fact they may suffer just so someone else can be happy

Answer 7

First, you need to make sure that you know what you mean by selfish. I think what you are getting at is, "Isn't everyone selfish?" which the answer is no, because the word selfish is equivocal, i.e., you are using it two different ways--selfish as with concerned with oneself; and selfish, motivated by something.

Also, why they feel good is important. Sometimes we are happy with the result of our action, and sometimes we find out that our actions are right and moral, which then makes us happy. Subtle differences.

Answer 8

Well I gotta say that at work everyone will tell you that I am the first to drop what I am doing to help someone out. One I enjoy being nice to people and two, it is waaaaay easier to ask for something when I need it.

Answer 9

well for some people, i agree, they can be selfish.. but for otherrs, i think its just on how they've been raised or their personality. like if they've been raised to always help others because its the right thing to do, not because it makes them feel good about themselves

Answer 10

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