at the end of our relationship i told my partner i was pregnant, he told me he wanted nothing to do with it, and broke it off with me, 3 and a half years latter i get a call out of the blue, him wanting to catch up, should i tell him about his son i was supposed to get rid of??
2007-03-01 15:27:13 · 25 answers · asked by musicchic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
my ex was both physically and emotionally abusive, and i am now in a loving marriage and also have a 2 month old daughter
2007-03-01 15:38:45 · update #1
Yes you should, every person that has a child deserves to know they have one and should be held accountable. Maybe he's changed and would want to be a part of the boys life, if not he should still help financially support him.
2007-03-01 15:30:56 · answer #1 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your son deserves to know his father. However sounds like the creep his father is doesn't deserve to know his son. But if you want to do the right thing, tell the father, give him an oppurtunity to do the right thing, it may change his life for the better, or he may just walk away again. Be prepared for the latter. I hope it works out, you will not regret it by being honest, you will be able to look in your son's eyes when he is older and say you tried to get his father involved. The father will be responsible for how involved he gets, expect nothing from him given his past record and then if he surprises you and steps up to the plate and becomes responsible then it's a win win situation. Just don't fall for him again no matter what. This guy seems to bolt when he is needed most. Good luck and God bless you.
2007-03-01 23:35:50 · answer #2 · answered by Shyler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were supposed to get rid of? Well, good for you that you didn't. And your son. Well, as much as I hate to say it, yes, you should tell him. It may not be as bad as you think and your son has a right to know about his father. You may not want to but it's the right thing to do. I hope anyway. Like I said, I do believe your son has a right to know his father and maybe it will be a good thing. You won't know unless you tell him. If you don't you will regret it in the future when your son starts asking questions. It sounds like you are a good, strong person and if things don't go well, you will still be able to handle it and be able to tell yourself at least you tried. Good luck.
2007-03-01 23:33:32 · answer #3 · answered by NORTH WEST 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is, do you want this man back in your life?
If yes, tell him. If no, say nothing and live your life in peace!
If you want child support, or you feel your ex should somehow "pay" for leaving you and your son, then that is a different story altogether. You may want an independent witness when you:-
1. make the call.
2. see the man.
3. Make your demands.
2007-03-01 23:32:13 · answer #4 · answered by replycs 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should. You need to. It doesn't matter what happened between you and your son's father. Every child has a right to know their parents and vice versa, regardless of what happened in the relationship.
If your ex doesn't want to see him, then ask him for a photo so your son at least knows what his dad looks like when he gets older and take a photo of your son to give to him if he wants it. Give them the chance to get to know one another so your son can make up his own mind about your ex.
He may react badly, thinking that you're lying and he's not his son or thinking that you want money. You need to keep calm and explain about the pregnancy and that you're not after money.
Good luck.
2007-03-01 23:34:38 · answer #5 · answered by Alyeria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that this seems like a decision that you and only you can make. Don't get me wrong, I love Yahoo! Answers, but I think the best bet would be to talk it out with the loving man you are now married to who may want to someday adopt your son and you will need to have the ex sign over his rights...Godspeed.
2007-03-01 23:45:29 · answer #6 · answered by kehlygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hum...I dunno. I'm all about being honest, straight forward, and up front., but in this case...I'm not sure.
He has a right to know he has a son. But he knew that you were pregnant when the relationship ended. He didn't care to keep in touch, to find out what happened to you or the baby. So...that part of me that isn't sure, says...just keep your mouth shut.
BUT....lol, on the other hand, your child deserves the chance to know who his sperm donor is. (no, I will not call him a father, he doesn't deserve that title yet)
Ok...tell me this, are you married. Does the child call someone else daddy? Indulge us a bit.....
I'm sorry, I'm not any help, this is a tough one....
2007-03-01 23:37:14 · answer #7 · answered by Stephanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May I suggest u answer his call tell him what has happened in the past and for that, u are not going to see him after what he has done to you and tell him honestly u got a son that belong to him with u and be sure he never get a single chance to see him. He 's simply not fit in that position.
2007-03-01 23:32:14 · answer #8 · answered by ChocGlico 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should tell him about his son even if you don't want him back in your life any more. Because your son will need to know who his father is ,and please if it is possible let him be part of bringing your son up for it best in the child's interest.
2007-03-02 00:06:38 · answer #9 · answered by kiki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not tell him unless he brings it up, He has not cared in over 3 yrs so why would you put your child through this if it can be avoid it. If he asked you what ever happen then you can mention that you have a baby and then take from there.
2007-03-01 23:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by Proud Mama of 2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋