Been married for 9 years......2 wonderful kids..........and a really good wife.........except there is no love...........no sex for 2 years.............i just cannot go on for ever without the passion.........serious answers only........and the odd not so serious lol
2007-03-01 15:20:06 · 21 answers · asked by blue 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sex is part of a good marriage so your not in a good marriage. tell het to put out or get out.
2007-03-01 15:23:45 · answer #1 · answered by bubba 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First problem is your asking Strangers. Sit down and talk to your wife and ask her why she doesn't want to have sex anymore. She may be tired, have a physical problem that makes it hard to have sex or just having a problem getting aroused. By the way sex is not what makes it love. Yes it helps bring you closer to each other but its not everything. Tell her you need more attention and ask her what you can do to make it easier on her. Maybe its a matter of needing more time for herself alone to make her turned on again. Or maybe she needs a little romance again. Sometime its simple and sometimes its not. If you really love her then take the time to find out the answers. If she is not willing to participate in helping find the answers go to a counselor and find out what you need to do for yourself. Good Luck
2007-03-02 00:35:39 · answer #2 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sex part is alll too common among women when they have been married a while or have children. They think that their lives are so busy, so when they go to bed, they are TOO exhausted to make love with their husbands. There are a few things you could try that will almost certainly work...
1. Show her that you understand that her life is very difficult and help her to do less work each day. (You must make sure that she understands that you are doing this because you care for her.)
2. Try to let her go out with her friends and you stay home and watch the kids for her. Tell her that she needs time to be with her friends.
3. Date her. Get a baby-sitter (one that she will trust - family member is best) and take her out on a romantic date.
4. Learn how to give her a massage. Go to an escentual oil store to check out the massage oils. The best is "Escents". The people REALLY know what you need, and the prices are good. (Explain that your wife is SUPER stressed and also you want something romantic when you talk to them) However, if you have a limited budget, just buy something cheap that is made with grape seed oil because it's really good for her skin. I have listed a great book on massages and a couple of other important books below.
These things will show her that you love her and want to make her happy. Believe me, many marriages fall apart because our lives fall into a routine and we can't figure out how to change things. When you are doing all these things for her, don't just try to have sex right away. Keep it up for a little while. Prove that your marriage is changing, and this is how things will always be.
BOOKS
Go to http://www.amazon.com/ to check out these books...
Massage book:
The Complete Guide to Massage: A Step-by-Step Approach to Total Body Relaxation by Susan Mumford (about $14)
Books about marriage:
The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage by Laura Schlessinger
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Laura Schlessinger
I hope I have helped, even a little.
If you find these things helpful, please try to help a friend by telling him or her.
2007-03-02 00:01:19 · answer #3 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
speaking about sex.. I have been married for just 2 years and my sex is down to once a month! Sad...
I have tried talking to my husband. I cried. I screamed. I am depressed. We still very much in love but the passion of making love just don't exist anymore. I guess, no sex for married woman as well!
2007-03-01 23:49:44 · answer #4 · answered by Troy Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all there is a big difference between sex and passion. They should go hand in hand but more times than not they don't. Try talking to your wife see what is going on with her before you totaly bail on your marriage. Sound as if you have a lot to lose.
2007-03-01 23:31:47 · answer #5 · answered by sereta zandrae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No love?? or No sex?? two different things. How can she be a really good wife without intimacy if there is no other problem?
You really can go on without it, but you should not have to. Get to counsiling together and try to work it out.
Being miserable and staying together for the kids doesn't work.
To get passion, two people have to be passionate about each other.
2007-03-01 23:27:37 · answer #6 · answered by Nort 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I hear you bro. I can't explain it either, I don't have feeling for other woman, don't want to have an affair. It just isn't happening around here. She does her thing when she gets home from work, which is all about her, watches a little TV and goes to bed. Weekends are full of taxi-ing kids to games, activities, etc., so there is no time. I don't know if I really want time. Weird, but common feeling.
2007-03-01 23:33:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out www.nomoremrniceguy.com
Don't be put off by the title, its sort of about how to stop being a nice guy and start being a nice _man_. Many guys with these issues have the problem you describe.
THat doesn't mean it describes you. It may have nothing to do with you, it may be purely hormonal, etc.
But check it out, SEE if it describes you. If it does, you'll be excited to know that there are people who've managed to turn their marriage around from your position.
If its not you, you've only wasted a few minutes reading about it.
Good luck.
2007-03-02 10:30:15 · answer #8 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know why she does not want to be intimate with you anymore? Why has there been no sex for two years? what is her side of this story. Ask her why and maybe she will tell you. Why is there not love in the marriage? I suggest you both go to marriage counseling and even maybe sex therapy. You both need help here for this marriage or it will not last at all.
2007-03-01 23:32:49 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 children???? That could be a big part of it. Take the kids to the park and let her do whatever she wants to do for a few hours. Do you help around the house? Have you asked her why you are "cut-off"? She may need some help around the house. Also,you could get a babysitter for one night and take her out to Dinner and a movie.
2007-03-01 23:29:39 · answer #10 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk with her. Ask her about what she feels and what she thinks she need to get in the mood. You need to bring love back into your marriage if you want passion.
2007-03-02 00:28:01 · answer #11 · answered by C T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋