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My 13 year old is constantly getting made fun of cause of his glasses, and now that hes on the middle school football team they make fun of him there cause they say he dosent run fast enough, and he also plays basketball and they all cause him a loser(nad his team is undefeated(he made all the points in his game last week), I have told him to defend himself but he dosent cause he dosent want to get in any trouble, what can I do?

2007-03-01 14:49:17 · 14 answers · asked by cherry 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting Adolescent

14 answers

Talk to the school officials about this. This country has adopted and NO bullying tolerance code for schools. There is justice for your son. Here in Texas if you are caught bullying they will send you to an alternative school. The old saying"kids will be kids" and "boys will be boys" is no longer accepted. If the school wont listen go to the school board or your school district person. They will help.

2007-03-01 15:42:18 · answer #1 · answered by momof3 6 · 2 0

You could encourage him to relax about it, even though that may seem impossible. Try to get him to identify friends and be a good friend to his friends. Good relationships go a long way in keeping his self-esteem from taking serious hits from guys who make fun of him. I listen to my son and his friends discuss other team members and they make remarks about how 'lame' someone is or how 'he thinks he's a great player but he's not!' - a lot of negative talk but still, the team gets along to play the game and interact with each other because they are a team.
Maybe this is just the beginning of finding out that boys talk this way. Girls gossip, boys just talk trash about each other.
He may not like contacts and never wear them but they are an option. Still, glasses and how fast he runs are not the point. It's just that bad-mouthing that is casual and he can try to let it go, not be bothered by it.
I agree with your son that he doesn't need to 'defend' himself if it is going to stir up more trouble. You're not talking about physical bullying but just mean teasing. All boys have something that they can be sensitive about - of the boys I know, there's the height (too short), the weight (too fat), the glasses and the braces (several boys have braces), the acne (pretty common). No one stands out unless he makes himself stand out. Maybe that is what your son understands - that he can just go on playing and at the very least, it won't get any worse. At best, it will just go away. You can be pretty popular in middle and high school and never understand how it came about.

2007-03-01 18:19:42 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0 0

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2016-09-30 02:21:22 · answer #3 · answered by gazdecki 4 · 0 0

well, 13 is not too young for contacts, and if he's playing sports that will make things a lot easier for him over all.

secondly, kids can be little schmucks (much like many adults), and teasing is part of life...so you've got to determine if it's teasing or bullying. If it's teasing--tell him to tease back or just laugh.
If he's really being wounded by it you need to keep an eye on him, so that he doesn't feel like no one cares.
The nifty thing about sports ability is that it can be improved with practice...so tell him to work on his running, so he has something he can be in control of...
It's kind of a life lesson...some people will always be mean and make digs...that's out of their own insecurity and fears...but you can use their trash talk to motivate you to do even better than you would have originally.

2007-03-01 15:35:46 · answer #4 · answered by singingsoprano 2 · 0 1

If you mean verbally defend himself I agree he needs to stand up to these boys. If you mean physically defend himself I'm totally against that UNLESS a boy has hit him first.

He needs to learn these things by himself and as much as parents would love to step in and sort through all the problems our children face it's just not possible. We need to just sit back and watch--especially at your son's age.

Make sure he does feel loved and cared for at home though--I'm sure you already are but just in case your not! I know it's hard but we all need to step back and let our kids be every once in a while. Best of Luck!!

2007-03-01 15:15:38 · answer #5 · answered by .vato. 6 · 2 0

be supportive. 13 is where life starts becoming a little more "in your face". he is really the only one who can do anything about the teasing. remind him how much he means to you and what a great job he is doing. be involved with him as much as possible. right now, he is more than likely trying to "find himself". help find out what an amazing person he is. and maybe now is the time for some contacts, that in itself may give him a huge boost in confidence.

2007-03-01 19:52:12 · answer #6 · answered by skywings 3 · 0 0

I have been tyring to get rid of my probs. There are these guys who won't play kickball just because a girl is playing! And a few days ago this kid told this right up to my face he said I'm ugly! I mean he can think that people can have their opinions but it's rude to say it to my face just talk to the guidence coundeler at his school

2007-03-03 11:47:55 · answer #7 · answered by jesus freak 101 1 · 0 0

sad enough, there's really nothing you can do. you go tell the coach about it, but there's little hope that that will make the situation any better, and most likely they'll tease him even more. i was in this situation all throughout grade school. it sucks and makes life suck, but we all eventually get over it. make sure you are nice to him and make him feel loved and stuff. take him out to dinner, movie, or whatever you enjoy. i always wish me and my mom had/would do more stuff together, with me going off to college in a year. hopefully they'll grow up and leave him alone. its sucks, but there's not much anyone can do.

2007-03-02 08:49:55 · answer #8 · answered by milan 4 · 0 0

look, if the other kids call him a loser because of his spectacles, he's probably a loser. So there are two options; embrace the loser in him by encouraging him to indulge in studying - there will be benefits for yourself $$, or ditch the glasses for some contacts, give him some protein shakes and let him get pissed.

2007-03-01 22:38:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

Tell Him To Stand Up To Them Because they Won't stop Until He Does

2007-03-03 01:36:30 · answer #10 · answered by nicnoo23 4 · 0 0

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