How can I out talk someone every time?

Question

I don't seem to be much of a argumentative person. I am more of a listener. How can I be able to defend my position in any verbose event? How can i be more argumentative?

Answer 1

only get in an argument when you got support for your opinion

Answer 2

Why do you feel a need to be able to out-talk someone everytime? Maybe being a listener is or should be telling you that your more suited to being the counselor type-yes? As far as being able to defend a position, the first cardinal rule of debate is "He who asserts must prove". If you're more of a listener than an arguer, then it doesn't sound to me like you're the one initiating a claim in an argumentative setting. If you feel the need to "out-talk" someone in a particular conversation that you know before hand you're going to have, then you need to research your topic and learn the structure and elements of argumentation. You will not be able to "out-talk" every person every time- you simply don't know that much. A big secret to argumentation is to simply remain silent if you know nothing of the subject matter at hand. You'll come across as more credible and honest if you simply say "I don't know; I haven't researched the matter, and have no informed opinion to offer right now." If learning to be an argumentative person is an important personal matter, then take a debate class at your local community college. Learn the elements of argument. Myself, I started out studying the Toulmin method of argumentation and incorporated it into my debate studies. It's very effective. To get you started, the next time you find yourself in an argumentative situation and someone makes a claim (an assertion that something is true- the main point), challenge it with "How do you know that? What's your source of information? Is your evidence objective and verifiable? Will it withstand the scrutiny and rigor of logical analysis? Learn about formal logic and validity; about informal fallacies- what they are and how to detect them in everyday conversation where you believe someone is trying to "pull the wool over your eyes". Helpful hint: this is hard work but the benefits are well worth it. Just don't go around trying to micro-analyze everything other people say. The internet is a great place to get the information you need. Start out with the Stanford Internet Encyclopedia and type in ":Argument". Type in "The Toulmin method of argument You'll find all kinds of info, some really good and some not worth your time. Be patient, study hard, learn the definitions, and let it absorb slowly and gently in your mind. And above all- don't get cocky and arrogant and start looking at other people as "dumbasses" not worthy of your new found intellect. Be humle about it- no matter how tempted you may get to put someone else in their place. It's tough, but it can be done. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

speak calmly and in a monotone voice. Do so when they shut up and do so for long long long statements. When they interrupt, and they will. Don't get louder, remain calm and get real polite and say something like, "please don't interrupt me." Your demeaner is more important then what you say most times. If you are erratic, you are less believable. I live by the rule that if you need to yell to be heard, then the person you are yelling at probably could care less about what you have to say anyway. When you remain calm and cool, it is somewhat erie to others and they don't quite know how to handle it.

However, I think you have the better approach. I also tend to live by the rule of "don't argue." When you argue, there is never a winner or loser. Therefore it is pointless. Express your opinions and recognize other's opinions. Then move on. If it is a big issue...take a stand on what you believe and don't compromise it.

Finally, something I learned a while ago is that if you talk long enough, you eventually make a point that is hard to dispute. Even if you have no opinion, just start talking and babbling until you make your point. Then say something like, "I don't know if I am making myself clear. Do you understand what I am saying." Then you really sound respectable.

Listening is a great skill. If you are good at it, you will go far. Sometimes you can make a person understand you by just actively listening. Paraphrase what they say, use your body language to express what you feel, ask questions to get them to expand their veiw. It is hard to defend any idea when someone is asking you lots of questions about it...instead of getting defensive they think you are intrigued and play along until you have them respond to enough things that make their point less valid.

Answer 4

There is a difference between being argumentative and verbally defending your position. The best way to do this is to listen to your opponent and take mental notes. Begin your argument by saying something like I understand or see your point. You can always pose your argument in the guise of a question. If what you say is true, then why, what happens, etc...... As you gain confidence, your arguing skills and self image will improve. Good luck.

Answer 5

Perhaps the most effective way is the "broken record" approach where you repeat your main statement over and over again.This eventually wears most people down and gets your side in their head.

There are various debate strategies that may or may not be of use. There's the Red Herring, an attempt to divert the other person's attention to something off-topic.

Answer 6

Pick the right position, know it well, and then stop worrying about it. Just raise your eyebrows really high and hold them there. Maintain eye contact and frown until a little while after the other person runs out of breath.

Answer 7

Its hard to out talk someone who is very loud and aggressive...so if thats not u I would suggest that u wait till its quiet and the other person has stopped yelling, then u state ur case slowly, and assertively...its always helps when u r right though...facts beats folly all the time..
PS...and dont waste ur time on stupid people

Answer 8

Don't be argumentative.....just keep smiling, in a sly way, and the other guy will probably think you know something he doesn't and shut his mouth!
As they say, "keep smiling, it'll make others wonder what you're up to".
Nice people don't care much for people who like to argue anyway.
.

Answer 9

Some things are worth fighting for.

Argument = War.

1) TRAIN - BECOME SMARTER. Think more, think better. There are ways you can get better at thinking. You can study Logic & Philosophy. Philosophy is all about making arguments, analyzing, and defending them... as well as deconstructing those of others.

2) PREPARE FIRST, STUDY THE BATTLEFIELD. Analyze your position on a subject, as well as the most common positions against it, BEFORE you engage in any arguments about it. Look for the weaknesses in your oppponent's position first, as well as the strengths in yours. If you aren't prepared for a fight, you'll be more easily overwhelmed.

3) FIGHT FOR LOVE & NOTHING ELSE. You can't, and shouldn't want to, out talk someone every time. You can't prepare for every position, so only do it for things you really, really care about & believe in - most especially, your life decisions. Fight for what you love!!! Save your time & energy, to fight to the death for those. Stay neutral or uncommitted on everything else, maintaining a listening/learning attitude. When you pick your fights, people will respect you more, and be less willing to argue with you. If you fight all the time about everything, you'll lose respect.

Why is love important? Because love is usually right. If it makes you feel happier & a better person... who the hell can argue with that??? It doesn't matter if it's about Iraq, Racism, Poverty, your Life Decisions, your hobbies, a relationship... if your Heart tells you that something is right, LISTEN TO IT!!!! It usually is. Then, employ your Mind to defend your heart's positions. If your heart is not pulling you towards any particular position, or if it's confused, then DON'T take a position.

Heartful, humane positions are easier to defend than heartless, inhumane positions. Heartless positions are quite easy to attack - because most people are human & have hearts. Many heartless positions can be deconstructed by a "How would you feel if it were you who ...." attack. As a last resort, you can always roughly state, "I can understand why you feel that way, but your position seems heartless, so it is not something that I can accept for myself."

4) KNOW YOUR ENEMY. Don't just focus on the attacks, you should also try to understand the attacker. If somebody wants to attack you, it's usually because of some underlying negative motivation such as insecurity, arrogance, unhappiness, fear, etc. Think about this. Why would YOU ever want to attack somebody??? If you were really secure and at peace with your self & the world, there'd be no reason to attack anybody else. So try to put your self in an attacker's shoes. Then, you can disarm the attacker by re-directing his attacks back at himself by identifying his emotions, "You seem angry about X.... why are you so upset?" This will catch the attacker off-balance. They may not be able to answer, so you'll have to develop the skill to continue this line of psychological analysis by asking more "emotion"-based questions which aim not to attack, but to understand.

So don't just be a listener of words, but also a listener of hearts. You can learn more about EQ & psychology, but most importantly, you should just your own heart to listen to the hearts of others. Remember, if people are picking arguments with you, it's usually because there's a negative motivation inside themselves, but also a reason why they're picking you as a target. So, you'll have to start trying to Understand your Self, too.

5) STALEMATE = VICTORY. Your goal is not to "win", or to persuade other people to change their views for yours, since people usually can't be persuaded unless they want to be. Your goal is only to defend your own views in such a way that others can accept its validity - which is itself, the Victory.

6) LEARN FROM DEFEATS. If you do happen to "lose" an argument, don't focus on the defeat - examine the attacks that killed your position, and analyze them for future come-backs. Many attacks succeed only because you were not prepared for them - not because the attacks are genuinely valid. It does NOT mean your position is invalid!! You'll have to come up with defensible points that support it.

I hope some of this has been useful for you -

Again, fight for what you love ----!!!!

Answer 10

sometime if you want to help someone it may mean leaving them alone!you can't fix stupid and many arguments having little to do with real knowledge applied to your own way of thinking