When I was 14 I raped by a 17 year old senior in High School. He offered me a ride home from school and he drove us to a deserted area and raped me. I got pregnant as result but I miscarried at five months. I am now 16 and my rape still has effects on me. I cant touch a guy or kiss without having flashbacks. I have never told anyone until now. I really would like to move on but I just cant. Will I be affected for life becasue of being raped? Someone please help me.
2007-03-01 14:16:57 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You will be affected for life but You do recover from rape.You view people differently and your guard is always up. I still have problems letting my children go with friends places for fear of the unknown. It is hard emotionally because your life has been taken from you. If you get counseling(you need it) and find a rape survivor group you can recover. I don't envy the road ahead of you. If you don't seek counseling and you keep it bottled up that monster wins again! I was molested as a child by a family member. I didn't tell anyone until I was an adult. I didn't realize the pain I carried affected my life so much!
2007-03-01 15:32:19 · answer #1 · answered by momof3 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can empathis with you though. I'm 17, and i was raped when I was 15.
I'm affected every single day because of what happened and I believe I will be for the rest of my life. It's such a tramatic experience when you are so young.
I was raped by my boyfriend on my bed after 3months of going out. I lay there crying and screaming but he didn't stop. It felt like it was going on for ever and ever. Then when he finished he left me there. I never told anyone and he wore a condom so there wouldn't be any trace of sperm inside me.
I have to see the guy who raped me every wednesday. I never told anyone either. I was too scared. I kept it to myself and hurt myself for almost a year.
But then i meet the most amazing guy. He doesn't live near me, but he's my best friend and i love him so much. He would never hurt me.
I did try counselling and it didn't work.
My suggestion to you is this.
[x] Love yourself, never blame yourself for what happened. You couldn't have prevented it. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how wonderful and how beautiful you are.
[x] Talk to someone. A teacher, your parents, your auntie, grandma, a counsellor. You don't have to produce names. You need help.
[x] Go to the police if you feel comfortable. I know it's not easy. I didn't go to the police for a few reasons, one he was my boyfriend at the time and he wore a condom. But it's never too late to report a rape. Also an other reason I didn't go to the police is because of these statistics- 10% of rapes are reported. 3% of rapes are taken through the court system. 1% of all rapes have a guilty vedict. That would be enough to put most people off. Also I couldn't face going through telling my story over and over again.
[x] Accept what happened. This has helped me the most.
[x] Go to a doctor and get yourself checked out from the miscarrage.
Feel free to email me. I've been there. Talk to someone please.
Good luck hun!
xx
2007-03-01 20:17:16 · answer #2 · answered by ★☆✿❀ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rape is a life changing event. I promise there will come a time when it's not so difficult. You should see a professional or sit in on a support group because you do need help to learn to deal with a situation like that. Also keep a journal of all your thoughts and feelings, believe it or not, I started one 17 years ago and it has helped me sort through my feelings in some pretty tough times. Hang in there, you will heal, but it's gonna take time and you have to get help. Good luck and take care.
2007-03-01 14:25:52 · answer #3 · answered by Trish 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
What happened to you was a terrible thing. It will stay fresh in your mind as long as you give it energy to grow. It will feed off of your fear, and make you into a totally different person. It takes a long time to get past something like this. I say get past and not get over because I believe that you will never truly get over it. It will always be in the back of your mind. However, there are things you can do to get past it. Talk to a therapist, this was how I was able to deal with being molested as a child. It really helped me to know that the person I was talking to wasn't going to judge me. Also try to understand that not every guy in the world is even in the same atmosphere as that creep. 99% of them have your best interest at heart. Take your time dealing with it, and don't let ANYONE tell you that it was your stupidity for getting a ride home. They are creeps if they do.
2007-03-01 14:24:14 · answer #4 · answered by MizMissy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can recover. And you will. But it's nearly impossible to do it alone. I wish you had told your parents, or a school counselor, although I know why you didn't.
Whether or not you seek legal justice for what was done to you, you have to acknowledge it and work through it. The farther you push it down, the longer it will take to heal, and the harder the road to recovery will be. I promise. You are feeling like you can't move on because your mind/body/spirit has not dealt with it. You'll stay that way until you seek help, or grow old.
If you need help finding help near you, I'm willing to assist. Email me. God bless.
2007-03-01 14:51:03 · answer #5 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is...when I was 26 I was raped in my own home. The neghbor had broken into my apartment in the middle of the night and raped me at knifepoint. I still have a scar on my throat from where he almost succeeded in cutting my jugular. I am now 53 and don't think about it all that often. You will be able to move on as you get older.
2007-03-01 14:27:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should see a therapist about this experiance, and they should be able to help at least cope with it. You may not be able to "recover", because rape can cause some lasting physiological efects, such as pain durring intercourse, although, if you became pregnant from it, the uterus if probably still intact and functional. Still, a therapist may be able to answer this best.
I'm assuming you told a parent/guardian if it got you pregnant, but if not, also tell them, they may be able to help. Finally, report this guy to police so he doesn't do it to other girls/women.
I'm sorry this had to happen to you, or anyone who this has happened to (supposedly 1/3 of women, don't know for sure). You should be able to recover emotionally and psychologically, but you may need help.
2007-03-01 14:25:29 · answer #7 · answered by jefftechcrew2006 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You will never forget it,but you can get over it. I was raped at 16 by a guy who was 21. I still have bad dreams sometimes, and it makes me feel bad about myself/insecure about some things. You will get over it with time. Realize that ther eis nothing that you could have done to prevent it, it was NOT your fault. If you still have flash backs, maybe you should tell a parent and get professional help. I am married now, and my husband knows about it. He is very supportive.
2007-03-02 04:01:47 · answer #8 · answered by country_girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell someone and put him in jail where he deserves to be. He could be out there raping others. I'm so sorry that happened to you- that is awful. I think before you can heal you will need to talk to someone. Maybe a councilor if not a family member. Remember it wasn't your fault in any way. I'm sure your parents would help you to get over it. It is normal to feel that way about boys after what happened but if you want to start leading a normal life you need to get help! It will fade away in time but i doubt it will ever go away- you learn to live with it. Be strong reach out to someone. Life is great Live it like there is no tomorrow. Never be ashamed it was not your fault. He deserves castration. So sorry hope this helps!
2007-03-01 14:27:36 · answer #9 · answered by Kellie M 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
noone here can tell you how or when you will get over this. IF you ever will. everyone is different and rape is a huge deal. only time can heal what youve been through. just do what you feel is necessary, if yuo arent ready for boys, deal with the rest of your life right now. and maybe somewhere down the line you might want to look into counseling. best of luck to you.
2007-03-01 14:22:19 · answer #10 · answered by sarah s 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋