My husband is a junkie and i still love him !What do I do????

Question

Wev'e been together around 4yrs.I knew he did drugs befor but thought he had stoped.He is curently on cocaine shooting it and snorting it.He left me and has been gone for 5 days geting high and probley sleeping around.We have 3 girls together.He dosn't do anything at home he just runs off every 2 months.He has been gone 5 days now and is wanting to come back.As crazy as it sounds I feel lost with out him.Had he not have been cuseing me both times when he called I would have probaly done let him come back.I don't understand it why when all he dose is hurt me so much do i still love him??It's stupid and crazy but it takes everything in me not to take him back?He dose put me down alot and leaves alot but I always take him back and it's so good for a while.

Answer 1

you need a therapist, you are addicted to the addict; get rid of him, you cannot tell me that he isn't high around your kids either, you are in denial if you actually believe that

Answer 2

There is a name for what you are experiencing, and it's called codepndency. Bascially, the theory describes that when those we love become addicted, we in turn become addicted, albeit in a different way.
You don't mention if you husband is willing to get treatment for his substance abuse problem or if there is domestic violence involved. As a therapist who specializes in mental health and substance abuse issues, I can only share with you that this is of utmost importance before you can decide your next step. If he is willing, then support him in any way you can. Often this includes a family component to a treatment program. If he is not willing to go inpatient, I would recommend you to seek support from others who have been in your shoes. A great resources is Al-anon or nar-anon. These are the 12 step programs based on the self help group Alcholics Anonymous. They even have kids meetings (Ala-teen).
You are not wrong or stupid for still feeling in love with your husband; however, if domestic violence is involved, you should remember that the saftey of you and your children should be your number one priority, and if that means not allowing him back into your home until he can sober up and get help, then that's your only option.
God Speed.

Answer 3

I'll light a candle for you. What does this man do for a lively hood. Is he also a dealer, hired gun, house breaker, general all around thief? Do you think you could do worse? Maybe you could be on hand when he JONES, then see him at his very best. You'd better call off the love affair. Doesn't matter what you feel, he's outa control, dangerous, and if he's shooting with whores, he's HIV positive. Time to close up shop and move.

Answer 4

You are wasting time that you could be spending with a person who loves and respects you and has their act together.
I'd say run as fast as you can away from this guy. BUT if you ABSOLUTELY can't then at least dump him with the stipulation that you will not accept him back until he has been in rehab and counseling and has been clean for the amount of time that a counselor suggests.
You need counseling as well. I think it might help you see that you are worth more than this.

Answer 5

You not really thinking of your kids safety and your safety. You are allowing him to do drugs and leave and come home. You are teaching your children that it is ok to use drugs. You need to be the example for them and not allow him back in unless he is clean and sober and has been for awhile. You are being a co-dependant you need to seek help yourself as well. You should not allow him back in. Be smart make a wise decision.

Answer 6

Leave his no good lazy *** you and him willend up nowhere in 20 years from now .Wake up let him get treatment away from you and your children.Your husband is a loser and by staying with him you are now in loserville population you sorry to say.Grow up stop making excuses for him.Grow up and be a positive role model to your kids and shelter them from this nonsense, .Take care of yourself and your family first and get a fresh start in life.

Answer 7

Hon, you are co-dependant...you love him, sure, and it makes you feel good to help him back on his feet when he is down...you have to wake up and think of your girls!!!
It is time to say NO, you can not come back unless you clean up! You probably think you can't make it alone (that's what I used to think) but you are wrong, YOU CAN, take a good look around, 'cause you are ALREADY alone doing it!!!
And being on here, asking for help, is a further step in the right diricetion!!! Pull out the phone book and look for local numbers to help you!!!

Answer 8

That's some example he's setting for his kids. They need someone alot better than that. Allow yourself to enter the picture and show them where drugs will get them in life and how you're a better parent than that.

Answer 9

you guys are co-dependant. you give him a cushion, he uses. this relationship will probably cost you much emotional, physical, and financial strain unless the both of you get some serious help. why take him back? is he paying the bills. so you have no other options? what?stick up for yourself...you cannot save someone unless they want to be saved.

Answer 10

Hi! I can relate to an attic, my son would steal from me threathen me, I would kick him out, take him back, it's not easy, but finally God gave me the strenght to kick him out, today he respects me and cleaned up most of his act. What I am saying is that you are not helping your husband or kids if you take him back, he needs the though love...pray for him, prayer opens the door for God to work in our lives....seek God and you shall find Him....we all need God to help us, and He does, if we ask Him too........Jesus loves you

Answer 11

Just because you love someone doesn't mean you should be married to him. Marriage is an equal partnership. Ask yourself, Is he holding up his end of this relationship?? No. No. No. You are not his mom. You should just say, I'm sorry, I love you, but until you get help you cannot be part of this family.