Hi again. I'm in my twenties and I feel as though I have nothing going for me. I have no job. Which makes me feel that I have nothing to offer. Yet there's this thing. I'm in love. I'm in love with a man who has a degree and a good job. There are other women interested in him that are on his calliber. I don't have anything to offer. So should I bag back and let him find a woman with a good job and a degree lest I bring him down?
2007-03-01 13:30:01 · 26 answers · asked by Jasmine S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
--Without even addressing your girlish crush, you HAVE to get beyond this lack of self-esteem. Who says you have nothing going for you? If you have no job, then you get a job. You need to learn that you have plenty to offer. Before diving into a relationship you NEED to love yourself. Guys, especially after their teenage years, don't want the hassle of having to be the main emotional support for their girlfriend. Why would they?
LOVE WHO YOU ARE!
--About the guy: so there's someone else who likes him. So what? "On his caliber" means what, she has a degree and a job? Get real, honey! There are plenty of couples where one has a degree and one doesn't. Your job and financial situation doesn't determine your happiness or who you will date.
--You really have to get beyond your lack of self-esteem. You're constantly comparing yourself to others and stopping before you even try. You're going to get yourself into trouble...FAST.
2007-03-01 13:35:02 · answer #1 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do things to improve the way you feel about yourself. Get a job to support yourself (how do you take care of yourself, anyway...since you don't work ?). Well, whatever your situation is...if he likes you or loves you the way you are and you enjoy each others' company, then that says a lot right there. If this is the case, then he doesn't mind that you don't have some big-time career. When you get down to it...there are plenty of women out there that do have huge degrees and great careers but some of those women aren't happy and they have problems or worse problems than someone like yourself. So...respect yourself and do what you feel necessary to have confidence in yourself. Your man will appreciate the effort and you can't just sit around wondering if it's okay to not work and if he'll still love you for not being a career woman. Talk to him about it and you'll see. Some men want and need a woman that's independent but other men like to take care of their woman. See what he wants...
2007-03-01 13:49:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you - is HE interested in YOU? If he is, and he's asked you out - give it a try. Are you planning to not have a job for the rest of your life? I'm sure it's just a temporary set-back. I don't believe that you have nothing to offer - you seem to be able to express yourself well, in a coherent manner; it's a start! Perhaps you're too hard on yourself? I didn't have a job for about a year, and it can be very demoralizing. Don't let it keep you away from a person you're interested in - but do make an effort to better your life. I wish you the best.
2007-03-01 13:41:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A job don't make a women! And can't no other women offer what you have. What you have to offer is worth more than what his degree or his job can do for you.
When you go in a relationship with nothing to offer but yourself, there's nothing more he can expect but "YOU". So pick your head up girl, cause can't nobody "do you" like you can!
p.s. That's real advise from "Dad Gone Wild"
2007-03-01 14:43:09 · answer #4 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No NO NO...you are in your 20's that is prime for going to school and getting your life on the right track. If you let him go you will always wounder. If you go for it and loose at least you went down with a fight. You know your life is on the fast track to no where so switch tracks and get yourself in school...any school.
My daughter is 24 not married and has a kid from a dead beat dad. She got into DeVry on grants and scholarships with very little out of pocket. Now she feels better about herself.
I hate to say it but having a baby was the best thing to jolt her a live. So get up and get into school...it will make you feel better and the guy will see you are on the fast track to success, and not wanting on his money train for a free ride.
2007-03-01 13:52:04 · answer #5 · answered by jeeccentricx2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why no job? Your written expression here is easily better than 90% of what is written in Y!A. Anyway, I think you are wrong in assuming a relationship is about adding resumes together. People need other people... to love, and be loved by, to depend on and be depended upon. To listen, to care, to support, to share feelings with...
If you feel your level of education is a roadblock to love... I'd say no. But it could be in life in general. Please take some time to do good for yourself... get a degree, get that better job, and more than just love will benefit. Best Wishes!
2007-03-01 13:37:24 · answer #6 · answered by justr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think that love and marriage are about money and education you need to learn a lot more about life. Relationships are more about caring, sharing, communicating than they are about material things. You may or may not be what he wants and needs and he may be the same for you. Unless you try you will never know.
You need to work on your self esteem issues and realise that you are someone worthy of being loved and of loving. It doesn't matter what, you need to realize that you have many valuable assets which you can bring to a relationship and accept the fact that others can find them valuable too. At the moment you are being negative about yourself and you do not deserve that.
2007-03-01 14:11:03 · answer #7 · answered by John B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, why don't you get a job or a degree? Then again, lots of women with credentials don't work. They are stay at home moms! I say go for it. Having a job or a degree isn't exactly what makes a relationship work. You probably have plenty of redeeming qualities despite your lack of employment and education.
2007-03-01 13:35:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stature shouldn't make a difference these days. I bet you are good at something, just because you don't have a job does NOT mean you are not worthy of a relationship with an intelligent man that also has a good job.
That is wonderful he has good things in his life and you too deserve something good to build up your self confidence and esteem. GO FOR IT!
Good Luck,
Jackstar xx
2007-03-01 13:36:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-14 08:35:12 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋