I Don't Really Have Any Friends...?

Question

I'm 15, I'm good looking, smart, play a lot of sports, and everyone seems to like me, but outside of the classroom, no one talks to me. Everybody at my school seems to already have their group of friends and everyone seems to expect me to have plenty as well, and I truly don't know what to do.

A few years ago, being new to the school, and public school besides that, I might have had an excuse not to have any friends right away, but three years later, I still spend all my days alone. It just seems like there is no place for me there, and as much as I hate being depressed, I am. Once again, everyone seems to like me fine, but whenever I try to initiate anything outside of school, no one has any interest.The last few years have been miserable. Recently,I just felt like I needed a break from school,so I skipped for a little bit, then didn't know how to go back, and kept skipping, for a couple weeks.Now my grades are crap, and I feel miserable.Anyone have advice for me? I feel so lost.

Even in class, there is no one who really talks to me except a few people occasionally. I don't know what to do...

Everyone seems to think of me as confident and happy, but inside, I'm very sad and lonely...

I've tried to start the friendship many times, but everyone seems to already have their groups of friends who they would rather spend time with. I just don't seem to have a place for me anymore.

Another thing that kind of hurts is that, I am nice to everyone and care for others' needs more than my own, yet there are people who are mean to everyone, and have a multitude of "friends".

Answer 1

Wow, good luck.
First of all, you are bright, articulate, and have the integrity to present yourself well.
That's awesome.
Maybe a little TOO awesome for people, you know... :-)
I don't know much, but I do know htat college is supposed to be a whole new world, freshman year.
Transfer students go through the same thing that younger kids do who have moved- people form their groups on day one or so, and there's little other movement.
Your guidance counselor will hopefully knw a lot more about how it works than I do, but hon, you are
not alone
in this.
And you WILL be fine.

Answer 2

*sigh* i'm very sorry to hear this as you seem to be a nice person and all. i'm sure if you weren't new to the school you wouldn't be in this situation.

please do not feel as left out as you do. at least you do have SOME communication with others. everybody has their purpose in life, so please don't feel this way.

first of all, i say keep going back to school. if you want to make more friends, people probably will not find it appealing to go hang out with a kid that skips. please don't take this the wrong way, but this is my honest opinion. maybe if they see you're making a conscious effort to do well, they'll consider you more.

and besides. education is extremely important. people all over the world are begging to have what you do, and you're giving it up. things won't work out in life if you keep skipping.

as for the whole social dilemma...

throw some parties. get GROUPS of people to come and hang out. they probably won't feel comfortable coming over alone without the little group that they're already in, so why not invite the whole group over?! don't be shy, that's the most important thing.

good luck, cade.

Answer 3

Hi, I know how you feel. I think you should try and meet people outside of school, go to concerts or dance clubs and talk to people. But I would also say keep trying to initiate stuff with classmates. And if people don't seem interested, maybe ask again another time or keep trying different people.

also, keep this in mind, there's life after high school too. people don't fit in everywhere, and maybe you go to a really stuck up school (it sounds like it). It won't be this way forever though, you'll meet people in college or work and you'll forget that you were ever miserable.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry; I know, it's hard at your age.

You said you play a lot of sports, don't you hang out with those kids afterward? You need to find a common ground. All kids and even adults want to be with someone who have the same interests. What did you parents say about all these? You need to stay on top of school work and go back to school.

Do you go to church? They have youth group and you can hang out with them. The leader will help you overcome this problem.

I hope it helps. Take care sweetie. Hug.

Answer 5

hey its true, people your age tend to cling to their own clique once they've identified themselves with it thus thats why most say no when you asked them to do something after school. Its because they dont want to leave the 'comfortable zone', away from their friends. So what you can do, rather than initiating , is ASKING if you can join them in their activities for example if you heard someone say they want to go to the beach that week, ask if you can join them. its easier to join a group of people doing things they already enjoy rather than to trying to ask the whole lot to join you. once you're there, just be cool and have a good time, in time, if they're comfortable with you they'll ask you to join them and alas, you have a bunch of new friends..

Answer 6

I think you should make yourself more popular so that they can friend with you.You need to be the smartest,active,not hurt other people feeling and don't do bad thing to them.I hope you will get as many friends as you want and you want to chat with me at [e-mail] luck to you!

Answer 7

well u seem lyk a really cool person and u should jus put ur self out there..i mean chose one of the ppl u no that u really get along with and go visit them or ask them if they want 2 go out and eat after skool or sumthin...

Answer 8

the same thing happens to me, you feel lost like "do they REALLY like me?", hmmm, advice? i dont know, i also have skipped, im alone, feel ignored. what i have done is i let people come to me. so if anyone comes and talks to you, and after class want to hang out with just ignore them back, identify who is really a friend and who is just using you.

Answer 9

dont be shy!!! put yourself out there! If you want to get back in the circle of things, throw a freakin awesome party at your house, ive done that b4, it worked out awesome. an if you need a friend, ill be ur friend, just email me kay?Good luck

Answer 10

hmm....
i used to in the same condition like u....in highschool..
now i'm in college, i "found" much better friends ever....
maybe u can be more talkative with other people n u will feel who's gonna be ur bestfriend, who'e gonna have the same feeling with u....
good luck.....