why is it that my husband was searching the web for his ex-girlfreind. we just got married in july we have been togethor for 4years. why is he thinking about her.. i just found this out. i havent even asked him about it yet because he is at work . what should i do or think im so confused.
2007-03-01 13:15:55 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is probably just thinking about her...no harm, but I would assume that he wouldn't like it if you were searching for ex-b/f's
Just ask him if he would like it if you searched for ex-lovers and then be done with it...
2007-03-01 13:21:03 · answer #1 · answered by auapc 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hate to tell you this but you know the answer, anyone who looks for their ex is normally wondering what if and thinking about them in ways that they shouldn't...I may be incorrect in this but it is 80% chance I'm right, it is possible he is just curious what ever happened to her but no further intentions, but the first one is more likely. I have looked for exes before just cause I wondered if they ever got married..had any kids and so forth but there were no other intentions, but I have also looked for the other reason..so I hope for your sake it is the 20%, good luck the reason I looked is because I am miserable in my marriage, my husband does not make me happy..he has spent so long doing wrong. Are you having marital troubles...is he unhappy for some reason, think about your life together and why he might do this..you may have to confront him..but I reccommend just keeping an eye on him and see if anything further happens before blowing up about it. It may not be worth worrying about, but if he finds her and starts talking to her all the time..starts calling her and so forth..be seriously worried. Also how close was this person he searched for were they very much in love, his first love, were they engaged or did they just date for a while? If it's one of the first 3 I'd be worried, but if it's just someone he dated a short time, I would not worry so much
2007-03-01 21:23:24 · answer #2 · answered by countrygrl278 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be innocent . . . a couple of the girls I used to work with used to talk about ex's that they would run into now and again or that they had heard about through the grapevine, etc. There were a couple of times we all hopped on the net and spent most of our lunch hours looking up old ex's. It was all just in good fun. None of us was interested in getting together with them - we just wanted to see what we could find out. Were they married? Still living in the same city? Etc., etc. I even looked up a couple of my scarier ex's - just to make sure I wouldn't run into them around town. It never meant I was wishing I had made a different choice or wanting to hook up with one of them again. Sometime's it's just human curiousity.
One of my best friend's had an ex-girlfriend of her husband's contact him via email. She found it and asked that any communication between her hubby and his ex be shared so that there would be no misunderstandings. She and her husband answered the email together (his idea).
I would ask him about it. Don't get upset or accuse him of anything. Just casually let him know that you saw that he had been searching the net for her and you are curious why. Carefully note his response - including his body language.
2007-03-01 21:51:59 · answer #3 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, It could be that your husband has an urgent message for her or he is ready to cheat on you...You have to ask him why and let him know that you know...Just be prepared for the result of confronting him..the questions you should be asking right now are "what will I do if he says.." and " am i ready to be without him?". In my opinion, if he's searching for his ex-girlfriend on the Internet..its not good news..trusting him is no longer the issue..staying in this relationship until his search for her go's any further..is.
2007-03-01 23:29:32 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't panic yet. Your hubby might not be that bad. He might just be thinking of old pals which include the ex(s) and it is only natural for anybody to wonder how everyone's doing.
OK, if you feel worried and still want to know why he did that, just go up to him and talk to him nicely like saying " darling, why did you search the web for your ex gf..?" Make sure you sound casual and nothing offensive and ensure him that you were only curious to know that's all.
Good luck dear.
2007-03-01 21:27:13 · answer #5 · answered by happy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't worry about it yet. He may just be curious about what she is up to these days.
The best thing you can do is ask him about it in a way that doesn't sound like you're accusing him because he'll automatically get defencive whether he's thinking about doing something wrong or not. Ask him like you just noticed that he's been looking her up and your just curious about what he's found out or something like that. If he still gets defencive then you might want to begin to worry a bit.
Talk it out with him and find out what he's been thinking and feeling that made him want to look her up.
2007-03-01 23:35:38 · answer #6 · answered by C T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh God....the same thing happened to me. We had been together for 8 and married for 6. Eventually he left me and hooked up with her the night he moved out ( via emails ) at one point she was going to move cross-country to live with him.....then we got back together. I could never trust him again and he left again a year later. He had totally screwed her over so she wouldn't have him back. I would definitely talk to him calmly and openly about it.....maybe he was just reminiscing but that kind of 'backwards' thinking can be very damaging so I would nip it in the bud...good luck.
2007-03-01 21:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't really have a problem so don't worry. When he comes home talk to him calmly about what you found and say you were wondering why he was looking for his ex. Just listen, he may well have a very valid reason. Talk first and listen before you start to get worried about things like this.
2007-03-01 21:23:09 · answer #8 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay hon, you just need to calm down. A little curiosity is perfectly normal and does not mean anything. Wondering about the whereabouts of an ex is something that most of us do.
2007-03-01 21:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by ckmclements 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is fairly natural to wonder about an ex. The problem is when it becomes more than curiosity. You need to confront him, and ask him, what's the purpose? Curiosity is one thing, but to re-establish a relationship is putting oneself in a bad situation. When you've committed to a marriage, you take measures to NOT put yourself in those situations, you take measures to remove temptation. People have this false thinking that they, and they alone can resist temptation, and I always ask, why even go there? If the potential outcome is bad, why even go there, it's not worth it. Ask him, is the potential worth it?
2007-03-01 21:22:10 · answer #10 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, when you approach the question, don't do it yelling or screaming. Say something like "there's something that is bothering me and we need to talk about it. I have discovered blah, blah, blah and I need to know if there is a particular reason this is happening..."
If you approach him being hostile, you won't get anything out of the conversation. I would also ask him how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot too.
2007-03-01 21:21:57 · answer #11 · answered by Fireanddesir 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋