My daughter wont do anything...?

Question

My daughter will not do homework, clean her room or clean up after herself. I ground her, remove her favorite things, talk to her teaches. she will not do anything. I have even lectured her to death. I am always yelling and upset with her. I resent her daily. HELP

Ok, my daughter is 14 years old, she has a brother and sister who live with her dad. She noticed that they dont do dishes and have clean rooms. So she is jealous.of them, I think

Answer 1

She needs a good Kick up the backside. What happend to old fashioned discipline?, I got spanked when i was a kid, nothing happend to me. I learned to respect and listen to what my parents told me. I'm 27 now. I know that these days you can't lay a finger on kids. Why don't you not allow her to watch T.V and go the computer and keep up with grounding her, Don't just ground her for like 5 min then give up. Stick with it and ground her as long as you see fit, be stern as you can be don't cry in front of her, otherwise she will see that she had beaten you down and now you will give up and she can go back to not doing anything . Good luck I'm sure your gonna need it.

Answer 2

Maybe she just doesn't know how.
Lecturing is good, now it's time for action. Start with basic life-skills. Say: "Let's clean up that room." And, get out the laundry-bag, the vacuum cleaner, the clean sheets, and turn the process into a shared effort. Get in there with her and do it together. Have her move the bed while you vacuum under it. Strip the bed-sheets and have her put on the new ones. Have her clear off all the surfaces while you Windex and wipe them. Have her get the trash can and discuss with her every item to be thrown away. Go through the clothes lying around, one by one, and ask which needs mending, washing, or just hanging up. Do the project in detail, but YOU remain the judge of what is "clean" and what is not clean yet. Take charge. And tell her how great her room looks and, how proud you are of her.

If you notice she is not cleaning up after herself in the rest of the house, call her over, and get her to do it. Stand over her until it is done, and then tell her she's doing terrific.

Once the housework is in line with what you want, get started on the schoolwork.Sit down with her and review her classes and ask about how each one is going. Take your time! Listen to every detail she gives you....it might take hours to get the whole picture of how she is doing, be patient. State the facts to her, without judgement or emotion. Generalities won't help. She and you need details to work with. Homework and school is very time-consuming, and she needs your time and attention as a coach, and mentor.

Answer 3

What i would do is that I would let my daughter do the things she would do. Soon she would be really annoyed by that.....or try settling the girl down and talk to her about her problems of what she is going through. Remember that she is feeling more mad, sad, and stressed than you are of yelling at her everyday. Has your daughter ever lost anybody special to her? Did she used to be a little angel when she was younger like she had good grades or something? Well that could probably be the problem of why she is not doing her homework.

P.S. Always try telling your daughter every single night that you love her, care about her, and also tell her that your doing this for her own good. If she doesn't probably tells you that your lying try giving her the silent treatment and she will probably come back to by saying sorry.

Answer 4

i say you shouldn't take all of her things away... Cut her some slack and put down the rules. Might sound stupid not to be so mean to her with but she is doing but you need to let her get her mind on some other stuff. I don't do chores for my parents... but that is because we don't need to. I would but then their like... its ok, don't worry about that.
I would just say that you need to cut some slack for her and start by telling her to do a little bit of chores then a tiny bit more after a while. Let her do her schoolwork first, then play or do something like that, then do some chores, then let her relax for the night... she will find life much more easier and be much more happy to do things. I also suggest not haveing chores a daily and weekly thing. maybe some days have her work more than others but give her time to have fun with her friends and do what she wants... Hope This Helps! =D

Answer 5

Well this is obviously telling you that your punishment isn't tough enough. You need to sign her up for community service and help out at places. Yelling doesn't work, trust me. And removing her favorite things wont help that much. If you ground her from the computer, make it no shorter then 2 weeks. And to make sure she doesn't sneek on, take the keyboard away. Show her who's boss and do be afraid. You're her mom. You're her boss.

Answer 6

Sometimes as parents we talk TOO much. Kids this age just tune out. I can believe that you resent her and that must be really painful for you. We think that we'll always be okay with our kids, but sometimes, you just don't like them. That's okay. Now you just have to find out what motivates her. Don't reward her or bribe her, just try to listen. Don't interrupt. Ask her why the two of you can't seem to work things through and then just listen. If that doesn't work, then try counseling WITH her, as in together. Good luck !!

Answer 7

really how old is your daughter?
and she could just be having a hard time right now!
when i started going through "preteen/teenage" stage's i was so hurtful and defient i didnt want to do anything that my parents wanted me to, the best thing to do is to be there for her and try not to yell at her, it will only make her feel worse,just tell her that if she dosnt do what you asked her to that, you will have to ground her and take the phone and the computer if you have to, so she has no comunication, sure it will make her upset with you but if she gets it it will show her that you are serious and that she needs to do what you said.

Answer 8

shes an addolecant so constantly yelling and lecturing her is probably making the whole sittuation worse..... its a problem w/ motivation.... you can try to courses with this one, first off get rewards for when things are done and make it so she is working for some good stuff(my younger sister got ten dollars every A she got on a report card and she went from d's to b's emediatly) or you could shock her into it... show her what happens when you dont do things you must do............. by the way you might try a level head to head talk as if she where a peer almost to understand why she doesn't do what hse is supposed to.. key to that one would be dont make it a lecture, dont get exahsperated and do not cut her off when she is trying to explain it.... listen to her and try to talk to her as an equal, as your kids grow up they want to be treated with respect..... yes i realize what she is doing is immature and does not credit respect but her oppinions on matters do......... talk to her, communication truely is the key

Answer 9

check out tough love. Remove everything from her room except her bed. Take all her clothes except 2-3 outfits you know are NOT her favorites. Then tell her she will have to earn anything else she gets. Even with her meals, give her ONE reasonable helping of the meal, NO DESSERT unless she earns it.

Part of your problem may be not having a really good idea of what you expect from her. Make a list so you will know what shes needs to do to earn something back.

Answer 10

How old is she? That is a huge piece of the puzzle we need to give you good answers.