I need a long joke that means absolutely nothing?

Question

A joke or even a few that people will be like what the heck you just wasted my time - a joke that's only funny for the joker because there is no joke and you were there talking for like 2 minutes. PLEASE!

Answer 1

The blue joke:

A man was driving his grey Ford Taurus down a long, rural road. Suddenly his waterpump gave out and his car overheated. So he pulled off on the shoulder and came to a stop. Pulling out his cell phone, he realized there was no cell phone service here. So he started to walk down the dusty road. Half a mile up the road he could see a blue victorian-style house. As he got closer, something seemed pretty peculiar about this place. A freshly painted blue mailbox awaited his wandering eyes; followed by a blue-picket fence which led him to a long driveway. He noticed blue petunas planted along the driveway. As he approached the house he noticed that it had been recently reshingled with bright blue shingles. He stepped up onto the blue front porch and knocked on the blue door. His eyes followed the blue trim around the outside of the closed blue curtains. Soon, he heard faint footsteps coming towards him. An old man wearing a blue bath robe and blue suede shoes slowly opened the door. "Excuse me sir, but my car broke down and I don't have cell phone service. Can I please use your phone?" The old man took a slow hit off of his blue pipe before responding. "Sorry sonny; I don't have a phone. But I'll tell you what. Every morning the local tow truck driver passes through here. Why don't you just stay the night and you can flag him down in the morning?" Though he felt a little nervous, the man agreed to stay. So the old man led him inside the house; up the blue-carpeted stairs, down the blue wallpapered hallway, and into a spare bedroom. The bed was nicely made with a fresh blue bedsheet and matching pillowcases. So the weary traveler bid the old man goodnight and crawled into the blue bed.

Meanwhile, another man was driving his brand new red Dodge Dakota down the same rural road. Due to a factory defect, his timing chain suddenly snapped and his engine came to a grinding halt. So he pulled off on the shoulder and came to a stop. Pulling out his cell phone, he realized there was no cell phone service here. So he started to walk down the dusty road. Soon he walked past a grey Ford Taurus that someone had abandoned. Half a mile later he could see a blue victorian-style house. As he got closer, something seemed pretty peculiar about this place. A freshly painted blue mailbox awaited his wandering eyes; followed by a blue-picket fence which led him to a long driveway. He noticed blue petunas planted along the driveway. As he approached the house he noticed that it had been recently reshingled with bright blue shingles. He stepped up onto the blue front porch and knocked on the blue door. His eyes followed the blue trim around the outside of the closed blue curtains. Soon, he heard faint footsteps coming towards him. An old man wearing a blue bath robe and blue suede shoes slowly opened the door. "Excuse me sir, but my car broke down and I don't have cell phone service. Can I please use your phone?" The old man took a slow hit off of his blue pipe before responding. "Sorry sonny; I don't have a phone. But I'll tell you what. Every morning the local tow truck driver passes through here. Why don't you just stay the night and you can flag him down in the morning?" Though he felt a little nervous, the man agreed to stay. So the old man led him inside the house; up the blue-carpeted stairs, down the blue wallpapered hallway, past the first spare bedroom, and on down to a second spare bedroom. The bed was nicely made with a fresh blue bedsheet and matching pillowcases. So the weary traveler bid the old man goodnight and crawled into the blue bed.

Meanwhile, yet another man was driving his trusty Chevy truck down the same rural road. After hitting a rather harsh bump, his front passenger tire blew out and he lost control. Swerving while trying to regain his steering abilities, he clipped the back bumper of a red Dodge Dakota that somebody had carelessly parked on the side of the road. Finding himself quite alright but his truck badly damaged, he reached for his cell phone, and realized there was no cell phone service here. So he started to walk down the dusty road. Soon he walked past a grey Ford Taurus that someone had abandoned. Half a mile later he could see a blue victorian-style house. As he got closer, something seemed pretty peculiar about this place. A freshly painted blue mailbox awaited his wandering eyes; followed by a blue-picket fence which led him to a long driveway. He noticed blue petunas planted along the driveway. As he approached the house he noticed that it had been recently reshingled with bright blue shingles. He stepped up onto the blue front porch and knocked on the blue door. His eyes followed the blue trim around the outside of the closed blue curtains. Soon, he heard faint footsteps coming towards him. An old man wearing a blue bath robe and blue suede shoes slowly opened the door. "Excuse me sir, but my car broke down and I don't have cell phone service. Can I please use your phone?" The old man took a slow hit off of his blue pipe before responding. "Sorry sonny; I don't have a phone. But I'll tell you what. Every morning the local tow truck driver passes through here. Why don't you just stay the night and you can flag him down in the morning?" Though he felt a little nervous, the man agreed to stay. So the old man led him inside the house; up the blue-carpeted stairs, down the blue wallpapered hallway, past two spare bedrooms, and on down to a third spare bedroom. The bed was nicely made with a fresh blue bedsheet and matching pillowcases. So the weary traveler bid the old man goodnight and crawled into the blue bed.

The next morning all three travelers awoke and were quite surprised when they compared their stories of how they had wandered away from their cars to the same house. They could smell coffee percolating as they walked down the stairs. Entering the kitchen, a nicely decorated blue table was set before them with three blue cups, three blue spoons, and three blue bowls. The old man poured them each a cup of coffee from the blue coffe pot before asking them what they wanted for breakfast. "I've got Raisin Bran; and I have Frosted Flakes. What'll you have?" He asked. The first traveler said, "I'll have Raisin Bran please." So the old man poured him a helping of raisin bran into his blue bowl and then turned to the second man. "I'll try Frosted Flakes please" said the second man. After filling up his blue bowl with frosted flakes, the old man turned to the last man. "I think I'll have Raisin Bran", said the third man. So the old man filled up his blue bowl with Raisin Bran. After the three men finished eating their cereal out of the blue bowls and drank their coffee from their blue cups, they went outside and flagged down the towtruck driver, who was happy to be of assistance.

The moral of the story?


2 out of 3 men prefer Raisin Bran to Frosted Flakes!

Answer 2

My friend, Charlie, is the KING of stupid jokes:

1. What's the difference between a duck?
one of his legs are both the same

[this next one is ALL ONE joke... or joke-like phrase, whichever you prefer.]
2. How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator?
Open the door and shove him in
How do you get a girraffe in a refrigerator?
Open the door, take the elephant out, and shove him in
What was the only animal that wasn't at the animal meeting on Lion King?
The girraffe, because he was in the refrigerator
So, okay,you have to cross this alligator filled lake. How do you cross?
You walk right through... The alligators are at the animal meeting!!

Answer 3

What did one penguin say to the other in the bathtub when he asked him to pass the shampoo?


Do I look like a microwave?


A friend told me that once and laughed for about five minutes while I just stared at her. I guess she thought it was funny.

Answer 4

So there was this college professor and this bum. They were walking into a bar when all of a sudden they see this hot stripper. The professor is amazed and pays the stripper to have her way with him. Then, after his time is up, the bum does too. They wasted two bucks hahahaha

Answer 5

if a Man is a Washing Macheine and a Woman is a Dryer... How mant Pancakes does it take to cover the doghouse?= seven because there aren't any feathers in a football!!!!

Why is a cow????
Because a vest doesn't have any Sleeves!!!

Those are sooo stupid you will be recieved with balnk stares!!!!

Answer 6

The presidency of George W. Bush.