I have been married since april 22nd 2006 to someone that lives in the US, im canadian and we dont live together....we have a 5 month old daughter and are in the final stages of immigration to the US
I have a problem being lonely, I go online and chat, sometimes meet females that are from online. I have not done anything sexual with these woman, but that doesnt make it right. I know I shouldnt do it, and I dont want to, but being lonely for my wife and daughter I feel I need that. My wife recently found out and I hurt her very much....All I want to do is get to the US, live and be married to her..
Can anyone relate and maybe give me some advice......I dont want to divorce and dont want to finish it this way.
Anything will help...thanks
2007-03-01 12:54:45 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know it was my fault, I know I have to fix this.....I do have guy friends that I go out with, I just cant help myself for some reason. I am not being sexual with these females.....I do flirt, and do know its wrong.
just adding this to my question.... thanks for looking
2007-03-01 14:32:55 · update #1
Your wife may fall for that excuse of being lonely and this was your way of feeling better, but you did it because you wanted to and now she has seen your true color I hope she thinks twice about this. Sorry, but I have no pity for you because you chose this.
2007-03-01 13:03:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What? All you do is go online and chat with members of the opposite sex? Nothing sexual therefore it's just platonic? There's nothing wrong with making friends when you're married. Take it from a fellow Canadian, your wife needs to lighten up! From what you describe you didn't cheat or even come close. Just assure your wife that you love her and want to be with her and no one else, but you need friends too. I mean, you're moving to the US!!! Who in the right mind would move from Canada to the US?? No one. You are in love!
2007-03-01 21:06:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would imagine shes upset cuz she dont believe thats all you have done, cuz that alone, is not that big of a deal. People like to fantasize and do things when they think noone is watching. That is normal human nature. My husband use to do it so bad, that if i walked in the room, he would close all windows on the screen and log off and not log on with me around. Hmmmm, now that was fishy, but whatever, i let it go. That was years ago and he just recently told me what he was doing on there. It made me mad only cuz i wish he would have included me, but he didnt think i was into that. Anyway, you need to convince her that what you say you are doing is all that you have done. Let her get involved with the chatting, and if you havent actually met anyone online and had sex with them, then you should have no problem doing that. There is nothing wrong with chatting and fantasizing, unless your hiding it from your spouse and not letting her join in when your busted.
2007-03-01 21:05:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being too hard on yourself. Yes, you've been inconsiderate. No, you are not scum. Apologize. Tell her what you've said here: "All I want to do is get to the US, live, and be married to you." Then, while you have to be patient waiting, find something else to do. Take an art class. Write a novel. Volunteer at a homeless shelter. Buy toys for your daughter. Turn off the computer.
2007-03-02 02:34:08 · answer #4 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hurt is something that cannot be erased - it only gets easier in time and with a lot of change. She will not forgive you if you continue and at the back of her mind she will always think you are doing it. Just give love and attention and make her understand that you have done wrong - apologise and move on. Do not allow the relationship to linger with this hanging over your head. Lifes lessons are about learning from it - not doing it over and over. Learn and prove to her that you have changed that way about yourself.
2007-03-01 21:02:28 · answer #5 · answered by jodie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to be loyal and trustworthy to your wife and daughter, when you are untied with them you will be so happy just think of that. You don't want to risk you happy marriage for anyone you met online. Just try to speak to you wife as much as possible and let her know how much you love her and let her also tell you.
2007-03-01 21:06:37 · answer #6 · answered by 2g4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am I understanding this right-you have a wife and daughter in Canada, but have been talking to someone in the United States and want to move here to be with her? E-mail me at CarolinaScout76@yahoo.com
2007-03-01 21:01:17 · answer #7 · answered by Evan S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understand being lonely, but focus your energy on looking forward to being with your family. if your wife findso ut again, she may never trust you and /or you may lose her. is that worth it? find a hobby, hang out with your friends or family, and just keep yourself busy doing positive things. because once trust is messed with, despite if forgiven or not, it does leave a certain degree of permanent damage. and look at it like this..how would you feel if she was doingthe same? good luck
2007-03-01 21:01:49 · answer #8 · answered by yankeesarethechamps 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to help your wife with her self-esteem. Being upset because you communicate with the opposite sex is just ugly jealousy.
Oh no! You are getting answers from women on Yahoo! Answers ... better self flaggelate some more...
2007-03-01 23:04:11 · answer #9 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u are by no means the worst, your just lonely, and human. just find new things to do, instead of chatting with other women. just assure your wife that what u did was wrong, show remorse, humble yourself, alot of sins are forgiven when one admits wrong and humbles himself.
2007-03-01 21:30:59 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋