Do you think this is fair?

Question

I had an affair at work and I fell hard for my new love. I was married to my husband for 12 years and we have to small boys. When my husband found out he told me that he would have done anything to save our marriage. But I love my new man. My husband divorced me last month and he gets the boys every other week. But I get NO child support! He got a good attorney and I signed because I was feeling guilty. Do you think thats fair? I have to raise my two boys every other week for 10 years with no child support. And he kicked me out of the house and I live in a 250.00 shack!

Answer 1

sounds like you got what you asked for...hey where's the new man, maybe he'll bail ya out.

Answer 2

Fair for who? Do you think it is fair that you cheated on your husband and betrayed your family? Because of your selfish acts your small boys have to go through their childhood bouncing back and forth every week to different places instead of being able to relax in a secure home with both their parents. You commited adultery. Was this man at your work who obviously has no morals to pursue a married woman with small children worth destroying your marriage and family over? I think not. The next time you ask what is fair ask it as if your boys or asking the question. Is it fair Mommy ruined our family unit? Is it fair that Mommy hurt Daddy so bad by cheating on him? Is that fair?

Answer 3

so he gets the boys every other week and you get them every other week

so the boys live one week with you and one week with him?
if thats the case then the boys spend equall time with both parents and he helps suport them by having them that much, he obviously provides them with food and clothing and a roof over their head and basic necessities, now you want him to also pay for that stuff at your house too? if it is the case of both of you having the kids equall time then why are you not doing your part to support your kids like your ex

now we come to the part that you signed a document stating that you would not want child support, that is your failing and wether it is fair or not is for no one to judge, you chose that path

now we come to the part that he kicked you out of his house, good for him, you chose to leave when you left him to be with another man, if you left your husband then you also left the family and so you should also leave the house

pretty much in my view you got a fair shake at things, and i guess the statement is true, the grass is not always greener on the other side, you made the choices now you must live with them

Answer 4

I have learnt this in life - the grass is never greener on the other side. Nothing good comes out of doing wrong - believe that. Feeling guilt and signing papers shows that you know within yourself you were doing him wrong - his reactions are just of anger as you said he would have done anything to save the marriage - not getting that made him upset and mad. Give it a little time and talk to him in a very decent manner. Good comes from good only. His anger wont last forever - just make peace and take things one step at a time. Never put the children against him though. Always strive to do good with and for the kids. Things will work out with patience and prayer.

Answer 5

Aww, poor you, you have to raise 2 kids every other week. How sad, but maybe if you couldn't take care of them, you shouldn't have had them. What happened to your new love, can't he help you?? But your right it isn't fair. It isn't fair that you whored around and hurt a good man. It isn't fair that you boys will have to know what their mother is. It isn't fair that they will have to go between parents and have problems for the rest of their lives about never having a stable home. And it also isn't fair that the rest of us (including you children and ex-husband) have to sit around and hear about how your life just isn't fair, even though it is your fault that it is this way.

Answer 6

It may not be fair but it's just.

By the way was your new lover worth it? Losing a house, a stable family for your kids, financial support from your husband, again was it worth it?

Answer 7

ummm, perhaps maybe you should have thought of the consequences first before you had an affair? And exactly, where IS the new love, you and your kids are his responsibility now. You signed, there is nothing you can do about it now. Should have had someone in the right frame of mind with you that day. Maybe someday things will chill, and you will be able to talk about things. Good Luck..

Answer 8

if u r splitting custoday, every other week meaning 7 days on 7 days off then i think that is fair. if he makes a lot more money he should be at least paying insurance, and any added expenses like field trips, sports, and buying clothes etc. if u have them all but every other weekend, then you need child support because you are taking on 90 percent of the responsibility. besides, what kind of man weasles his way out of supporting his kids?

Answer 9

yes, it's fair. You are the one who broke the vows. Now it is time for your new beau to step up to the plate and help.
Get yourself some work and quit complaining. You blew down the house, now pick up the pieces.
At least your husband had common sense to leave.

He deserves better.

so do the kids!

Answer 10

In case you didn't know, you are supposed to divorce your husband BEFORE you begin a new relationship. You cheated now you pay the price. And you don't have it so bad. I know a woman who has to raise her four children without one cent of help. And she does it every week.

Answer 11

How is it possible to get no child support? Are the children his? If they are, he has to pay child support, there is no way around it. He can get out of paying alimony because you cheated, but not child support. Why isn't your new man supporting you? He was happy enough to steal another man's family, but doesn't want the responsibilities?