Is daycare ok?

Question

My husbands mother and grandmother wants me to go to work and put my 2 month old in daycare. My husband makes enough money for me to stay home with our baby but we don't have a lot of extra money for things other than bills. Should I go back to work? My husband will be ok with my decision. I just don't want to leave my baby. What do you think?

Answer 1

Daycare means you abandon your baby with people you do not know, who are not caring for him in any way close to the loving, attentive care he would get from his mommy and you are risking horrible abuse that could scar your baby for the rest of his life.

Your husband's mother and her mother are pretty terrible mothers to suggest that you do this -- daycare is a sad situation that should be reserved only for people in terrible situations that really have no other option and did not plan adequately or have a situation that does not allow them to care for their own baby (or as you more often see these days, it is a place where women who don't want to raise their own children dump their kids off or for those who value money and material things more than precious, innocent little lives they created).

It is impossible for a child to receive adequate care when they have to share the attention with 3 or 5 or 10 other children and its is an "employee" in charge of them, not a loving mother devoted to them. Children in daycare are always getting sick, never get hugs and kisses throughout the day, get attacked and bullied by the other miserable children taking their frustations out and are locked in the same room day after day when they should be out on the town running errands with mommy and developing.

A friend just emailed me the news article below and said she is quitting her job and taking her baby out of daycare after realizeing the horrible risk she placed him and the sad damage that has already been done to him -- he is a terribly behaved child 2 yr old whom sge says she hardly knows b/c she only sees him from 6-7 am and from 6-8 pm -- so sad! DON'T DO IT

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/01/31/earlyshow/main538774.shtml
Make sure you scroll through the pictures to see the terrible one of the little baby after he was attacked: http://wwwimage.cbsnews.com/images/2003/01/31/image538772x.jpg

Answer 2

The first thing you should do is the math...daycare is very expensive, and you might not end up making enough for it to be worth giving up spending time with your baby. If your job only pays minimum wage, you might just barely break even after taxes, so what's the point?

There are pros and cons to daycare...kids get sick a lot more being confined with other small children. There is some merit to the social interaction they get being around other kids in a group setting, but at two months that doesn't really apply yet, and when he/she gets older, they can get that just as easily if you're the kind of parent who will take them to play groups so they can be with other toddlers.

I would say that if you don't want to leave your baby and you can make it by on your husband's income, that's fine. You only get to stay home and bond with your child for so long, take advantage of it! If you WANT to work, you may also consider a part-time job you can do from home or one with a flexible schedule instead of jumping back into a regular 8-5 gig.

Answer 3

My mother stayed at home with both me and my brother till we were teenagers and I loved it. I always had her support in everything, she could always be there. As your child enters the toddler years it will be important to have some form of socialization with other kids (either play dates, neighborhood kids, or daycare). At some point you will need to get at least a babysitter (and grandmas count if they are supportive), to give you and your husband time alone once in awhile. If money is a little issue there are alternatives that could give you extra money but not require you to leave your child in daycare. Baby sitting for someone else, a paper route, etc. Maybe you could look into something like that. You are in charge of your family. Do what you think is right for your family. No one else can make these decisions for you, every option has it's benefits. Which option is best for you and your baby?

Answer 4

I am a stay at home mom and love it. I have worked in two daycares and see how they are. Its not good. They are not a place I would leave my kid unless I was there to work and had an eye on them. I dont trust daycares and the way they do things. I walked out in August because I had pink eye and worked in the infant room, and my boss couldnt be shorthanded so she said I have to work. I even had a doctors note saying do not work. The pink eye had been going around for 2 months there, it was horrible. I couldnt stay and handle other peoples kids while knowing if they get pink eye its my fault so I had to quit. That is not a proffesional way to manage a daycare. I could go on and on at how things go on in daycare. I would stay home if I were you. Dont let others raise your child. They dont get the attention they need there.

Answer 5

You don't sound like you want to go back to work. If you are financially able to stay home, then do it. Give yourself some time to think about what you really want to do. You may find in a few months that you can't wait to get back to work, and you may not. But certainly don't let anyone outside of you, your husband and your new baby influence your decision. Speak to your husband about the pressures his family is putting on you. Babyhood is a wonderful time, and also very, very short. Enjoy it while it lasts, as guilt-free as possible, whatever you decide.

Answer 6

I personally think that you should tell your mother in law and HER mother to butt out. It's your baby- YOUR baby. Honestly, would any money in the world be worth NOT seeing your child smile for the first time? Laugh for the first time? Crawl, walk, talk for the first time? I don't get why people have children for someone else to raise. You had this beautiful baby for you and your husband, not for your mother in law. You are married to your husband, not to her and if your husband is supportive either way, make a decision to be WITH your child, to RAISE your child and not to have someone else raise them.

OR.....if your mother in law really wants to help, why doesn't SHE watch the baby while you work? Really, by the time the costs come in from paying the day care, is it that benificial? Usually not.

I would be irrate if I were in your situation. Stay and raise your own child. You are the mother and you deserve every second you can possibly spend with your baby. You AND your baby deserve it.

Answer 7

You and I are in the same situation. My man makes enough money, but It would be nice to be able to treat ourselves. We decided that we would work separate shifts. he works days and I am trying to get a job working nights. My husband is in the navy, when my son was born this did not work and my baby was taken care of by someone else. i was paranoid that something would happen to him. I distracted me from my work. after my husband got back from overseas, we did the alternate shifts and it was great. we did not see much of each other because I was also in the navy and both were working 8+ hours and swapping the baby at work. Now that he makes enough money, I am looking for a part-time job for maybe 4 or 5 hrs a day, just enough for fun money and for me to have something to do.

Answer 8

I think that your baby's too young to be put in daycare. Now is the time when she needs her mother the most.

The time you spend bonding with your baby will be worth a lot more than the extra things you would like to have.

That's just my opinion. Do what YOU think will be best for your baby, not what your husband's mother and grandmother want. Only YOU can decide what's best for your child. No one else.

Answer 9

It is really what you feel comfortable with. Personally I have my 2 1/2 year old in daycare and he loves it. it gives him social time that he dosent get at home since he is an only child and he is better with other children because of it. We also cherish our time together more simply because there is less of it. Both situations have there benifits, so find what is right for you. You could even try working part time and see how that goes before plunging into full time if you are not sure how you will feel.

Answer 10

I would personally not leave my children at daycare. And especially if you are not comfortable with it. I would recommend a nanny. Depends where you live on how much it costs. Our nanny has been with my boys since they were 8 weeks old (now 2) and it has worked out great. As they get her full attention and she is not attending to other kids. But it is your decision in what you do, do not let you mother in-law or anyone pressure you in to anything.