why am I crying if I dont love my gf? I love her so much and feel like dying but think she should have someone younger and better than me. Does this answer my first question where you all seemed to put me down, I think the world of her. I dont want to loose her but I dont think I am good enough for her.
2007-03-01 11:52:40 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You obviously lack self confidence and you are suffering from a bout of extreme low self esteem here. At least this is what I am reading between your lines. Now there are two ways to deal with this situation.
One is the old fashioned way, which is what everyone here has been advising you to do. Now, I have also read all the phoney-baloney advise which some people have written down for you here. My answer to all that? Poppycock!
It's all so easy to spew out this rubbish like, "Oh Pauline, stop crying, dont be hard on yourself, go out and read some positive self help books, attend these feel-good seminars, tell yourself that you are pretty, etc.etc.etc.etc.etc..etc"
Words, as they say, are cheap. Easier said than done.
All of the above require decipline and determination. Another word, sheer effort, right? At times like these, when you are down and out in the dumps, and feel totally depressed about yourself, the last thing you need is to make an effort to get better. Any effort would seem like and ordeal. You feel totally screwed over by the world and certainly do not want to play by the rules of the world. The child in you wishes to lash out and do nasty things to those who piss you off.
Which brings me to the other way of dealing with your situation. Thus my advise would be simply this: Forget the self-help books and the seminars and these self analysis of yours. Put on your best dress, go to a bar, get drunk and get laid (Try to, anyway). Throw some caution to the wind and lash out at the same damn world which has been pissing you off for so long. Satisfy the child thats screaming inside of your head.
When you have had enough, then, and only then, are you ready to face the reality and deal with your situation. Ony you would know when that time comes. And it will, trust me. Perhaps when it does, chances are you will have gotten over this gal anyway and would be on your way to ravishing the next one.
As long as you are not hurting anyone or doing anything illegal, you have every right to be happy first, thats what I always say.
Good luck, Pauline.
Signed: Chandru - Straight Male
2007-03-03 01:46:58 · answer #1 · answered by Chandru M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you see to be so worried about loving your girlfriend that you may not have looked at her as a real person or seen the person she really is underneath
you should try to look for some one you can spend time with all the time
some one that understands you for who you are not what you are
and that some one should be able to look at you in the same way knowing you love them for who they are not what they are as well
miss right is out there for you and one day she will find you
or have you found her already and you just do not know it
ask her straight out do you think you can be together for ever
ask her will she be with there for ever
and only when you can believe the truth
from her words do you get any where
and do not put your self down Pauline you are a beautiful person not only by looks but by personality as well any woman would be a fool to give you up.
2007-03-02 10:36:56 · answer #2 · answered by Zara3 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your going to loose her fast if you keep thinking that way. You may find that most people think that a very little when they have thier partners. Just remember its a miracle that you guys are even together, that you guys have someone that at the very least you have a close friend. I think im a very attractive guy but i have no friends at all. I think that im super selfish, hyper critical and because of that i choose to be all alone with out any friends or boyfriends someday ill find someone but right now i have no one and that hurts a lot you cant dump someone because you feel underqualified no one is underqualified because we are all unique from one another.
2007-03-01 20:56:39 · answer #3 · answered by cutelagayguy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
pauline,I just left the same conversation with my boyfriend,I think he deserves someone younger and who can walk while he feels hes not good enough for me and I need to be with someone who can give me more time.Love doesn't have the same standards as the head it comes from the heart.All I can say babe is don't deny this woman you love the the way you make her feel.Its not your desision or indeed hers who she loves,but it is up to you if she's allowed to have it fulfilled.you love her for crikey sakes give her what she wants.protecting her and saying she deserves better is denying her the thing that she wants.YOU sweet cheeks so give it to her baby lol if you love her thats what youll do just like when you sit down to a roast but have made her her ultimate egg and chips its not your idea of yummy but its hers dont knock it!
2007-03-01 20:06:01 · answer #4 · answered by nendlin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, as a person in a May-December relationship, my partner has often stated she feels I could do better, go for younger, what not, as well. I have told her similarly that she can do better. I feel this sense that neither of us deserves someone as wonderful as the other is fairly healthy actually, as it shows we genuinly appreciate, love, cherish and are in love with one another. We aren't together because we're settling for the other party, we're together because we love each other. Have you thought perhaps your future wife is with you simply because she loves you and has, in her eyes, the best there is?
2007-03-01 20:00:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pauline, go and read my answer to your previous question. Now this has to stop now. Stop the self pitty, you just hurt your girlfriend and if I were her I would be extremely mad at you right now. Stop the crying and go and apologize to her. And listen to what I wrote to you in my previous answer. You need to be strong for her. You need to get over your insecurities, if she leaves you it's not because of who you are it's becuase of your insecurities. You don't need to come to this site to try to make people feel sorry for you. Now listen to my words. You are a strong wonderful loving caring person. You have a woman that loves you more than life itself. Take charge and spend every waking moment showering her with your love. And never doubt that she loves you and wants to spend her life with you. I will not feel sad for you, I'm actually kind of mad. And that is something that I rarely do. (get mad). Now go to your woman wipe those tears and tell her you are very sorry for saying that and that you will never say those word to her and hope to God that she forgives you. LUV Doris
2007-03-01 20:28:53 · answer #6 · answered by . 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Crying is not bad. You are having a true love. She should have someone better than you if she think that also. If she thought that, just you don't need to keep her for own but you need to keep her like a friend, just a good friend. Then, you will be not lost her.
We are crying because we lost something or feeling lost something.
It is natural. In the love, we just keep something that it is conformable with us. Our soul is lightly and fragile, we are feeling lost is easily then we crying.
2007-03-01 21:10:28 · answer #7 · answered by Winter Prince 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Darling sister, you have to understand something. You are not qualified to judge yourself and say that you are not good enough for her. Only she can determine that. Do not selfishly take yourself away from her "for her own good" because what is best for her is only for her to say. If she choses to be with you it is because her heart is content with you and you are providing to her what she wants from another person. Hey, you are not trash and YOU deserve the best. And what makes you think you're not good enough for her? Actually, it doesn't matter for spit whatever it is about yourself that makes you think that you aren't good enough. You get one shot at life, baby. If you REALLY aren't good enough for her, then get your act together and make the changes. Forget your past and start life right now. You are worthy, you are quality goods, you are woman! Now do your Mother Eve proud and go grab your girl! There ain't time for pity parties.
xoxo
-Rev. Jim
GayChristianSurvivors.com
2007-03-02 00:06:54 · answer #8 · answered by kjv_gods_word 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you sound insecure.. let her be the one to decide if you are good enough.. i bet she loves you and does indeed think you are good enough.. and gee, don't let age worry you.
you are an awesome person. there is no such thing as someone "better than you".. if there was, then she wouldn't be dating you..
why don't you think you are good enough? what is it about yourself that you are not happy with??
heck, i often put myself down, but i don't let that stop me from reaching out and making friends and relationships.. and heck, i am constantly looking for reassurance that i am good enough.. and you know, most often, i get positive reassurance.
ask your girl if you are a good match, and if she says yes, then you have nothing to worry about!
2007-03-01 22:19:31 · answer #9 · answered by Jeff 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As one who has lost through my partner's death and suffered severe depression I can say that we can feel inadequate or unworthy for no other reasons than our moods or illness or ill treatment from an unrelated source.
If you are suffering sleep loss or inability to concentrate, you might wish to consult your GP, but do not leave it too long.
You have my love and support. Rose P.
2007-03-01 20:04:19 · answer #10 · answered by rose p 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋