we've been dating for two years now. And we are old enough to marry. We also already plan to marry, and I know he wants to. He just says he's just not ready now he wants to secure a future first but i don't really care about that. So how can i convince him to ask me sooner? please.. thank you.
2007-03-01 11:31:47 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he is not ready, you won't be able to force him to marry. You might want to start looking around for someone who is ready to marry and forget about your current boyfriend.
2007-03-01 11:34:56 · answer #1 · answered by karen wonderful 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is like deja vu for real. I have this conversation with my boyfriend all the time. We have also been together for 2 years. He is 32 and I am 25. He says the exact same thing as your boyfriend does as to why he is not ready for marriage right. And you know what I had to do, I had to learn to respect him for that. I had to respect the fact then when we do make that step he wants it to be as comfortable as possible for us. And because he is thinking ahead and thinking for the future I couldn't as for a better mate. One who only wants to best for and doesn't want us to struggle. Love is a powerful thing but love don't pay no bills, a love don't pay rent or put gas in your car when you're on E. So my advice for you would be to chill out on the marriage for a while. If he is a good man he'll do right by you in due time.
2007-03-01 11:58:21 · answer #2 · answered by missmozee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd let him do his thing otherwise you'll never get married period. Men don't like to be pressured into marriage just because women have the impulse to get it over and done with.
My girlfriend wanted to get married a bunch of times and I just said I'm not ready yet. I have to accomplish a bunch of things first and get more financially stable. We're still together and who knows, maybe it'll really happen when the time is right.
2007-03-01 11:35:16 · answer #3 · answered by gotham158 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been where you are, so I feel where you are coming from. We were dating for 5 years before he finally asked me. You have to decide if you are willing to wait, and how long your willing to wait. If he is worth it, it's going to be worth the wait. But I have to give you some advice, I did not wait patiently, which caused a lot of problems with us. You have to look deep into your heart and ask your self if you truly trust him. If you do, then just wait patiently, and don't nag. It's a big decision, and you don't want him to ask you before he is ready, and hate you for it later. When he finally asks you it will be the most wonderful feeling ever, don't be in a rush, just enjoy the time you have together, and show him you love him.
2007-03-01 11:41:32 · answer #4 · answered by Rae 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you are being selfish. He has already told you he wants to secure a future. This means a good job with good income so that he can support you and him. Don't FORCE him to ask you, or convince you. It'll cheapen the whole deal and he may lose respect for you. It'll happen when it happens. Be content with what you have now.
2007-03-01 11:35:14 · answer #5 · answered by peersignal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you cannot, if he doesn't feel ready to marry yet, trying to convince him is not a good idea. It will drive him away as will deliberately getting pregnant (as another poster suggested). You might want to consider whether this relationship is ever going to end in marriage. I am not saying it won't, but be sure you are seeing this relationship the same way he is. Good Luck!
2007-03-01 11:38:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your soon to be fiance is trying to take care of all of the loss ends financially before he pledges his life to you. YOU WANT HIM TO DO THIS!!! Currently the economy is in the crapper and it is important you start your marriage with an advantage as well as how are you going to PAY for a wedding without saving money first???
I think you need to be a little more selfless the way your fiance is being so that you understand a little better about where he is coming from.
2007-03-01 12:02:22 · answer #7 · answered by espressoaddict22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you convince him before he's ready, then he will wind up resenting you later. It only goes downhill from there. I know it's hard, but just be patient. If he doesn't have a secure future (in himself), then there is no possible way he can have a secure future with you.
2007-03-01 11:36:31 · answer #8 · answered by SA16 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you tell me you cont care about your future, when you are planning on tying your future to this man?
There is more to marriage than compatibility, and you should respect what he tells you about not being ready.
On the other hand some guys have been known to string women along. I have no experience or advise in discerning between these.
2007-03-01 11:39:33 · answer #9 · answered by polk2525 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should never have to convince someone to marry u, i think that he is doing the mature thing by securing your future, but u guys can also have a long engagement so just wait don't rush someone....the more u talk about it the more irritated they get!
2007-03-01 11:34:52 · answer #10 · answered by TNL 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋