I have been with my guy for 2.5 years. We have a small baby and I have a 4 year old that he loves and adores. He takes good care of us all, but I've been carrying on a relationship with a guy in my business class. I want 2 stop but then again I am having SOOO much fun. What do think?
2007-03-01 11:16:27 · 59 answers · asked by Q.T.PIE. 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Uuugghh...I didnt say I was having SEX with the other guy...just flirting, kissing, dinner, movies,lunch...etc.
2007-03-01 11:25:44 · update #1
They're all a bunch of judgemental hypocrites; ignore their ignorance.
Just be careful; don't get caught, and don't fall in love. End it when it feels right to you to end it. BE CAREFUL. Telling you to "just stop" is very unrealistic. Have fun, but be careful, practically and emotionally, for everyone's sake.
2007-03-01 11:22:49 · answer #1 · answered by F 5 · 0⤊ 11⤋
Hello.....If you are serious, please read this.
Your conscience is telling you to stop and it is wrong (otherwise you wouldn't be asking this questions) but obviously it feels good at the same time. You are getting attention, having fun, etc. with someone new, that is always exciting.
You must know deep down that this is wrong, otherwise you would have left your boyfriend if you really wanted to be with this new guy.
I recommend imagining telling your boyfriend what you have done. Really sit down, eyes closed, imagine telling him. Now imagine his face, the look in his eyes before he breaks down. Think about the hurt he is going through right now, and that you were the one to hurt him. It makes you feel like crap. Is your stomach turning?
Can you handle that? Can you handle knowing that you hurt him that way? The look on his face? I don't think you can. It's hard. You will cry, you will feel like the worst person on the planet.
It's tough too, because he may want to forgive you. But it's hard, he will be a different person after he finds out. He will doubt you, and question you and it will cause problems in your relationship if you decide to try to make it work. Visualize all of this.
The best thing to do in my opinion is to not tell him, ever. (That is after you stop and wont do it again) You have to deal with it for the rest of your life, or relationship together. Do not tell him, because you will change him. And that is unfair, you will be sorry.
If you ever feel like doing it again, or feel yourself getting caught up in the excitement that a new attractive guy can bring, remember this.
If you decide not to stop, then you need to tell him and you guys need to split up. That is completely unfair and selfish.
But I think you do want to stop, so do the imagination thing and you will know for sure how important he is to you. Maybe you wont feel sad at all, and you will know it's time to move on. But I bet you will and you can end it with this other guy who is just having fun too.
Also, after you have gone through the imagination thing, and know how you feel about him, you should think long and hard about what might be lacking from your relationship. And find ways to bring that back and make it more exciting again. I think if you got scared enough with the imagination/visualizing thing you will find this comes naturally, because you will cherish him more.
Oh yeah, and you should get tested, it is only fair.
That is the best advice I can give. Good Luck.
Remember too... that there is only a certain amount of things a relationship can handle. It is not always repairable, can you deal with the chance that your relationship with your boyfriend could end...forever?
2007-03-01 11:53:45 · answer #2 · answered by starwings20 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I must admit what many of the people have already said is true, I will try to advise you without direct insults. Like someone already said you really need to stop. You need to think of your children. If your boyfriend finds out what you have been doing chances are he will leave you. Then what will you tell you children when their Dad is no longer around. (I presume you live together) if not, still...your boyfriend and the father of your children might bail out on you. It won't be "SOOO much fun" when your boyfriend and father or children leaves you and you stuck raising them by yourself. Think that the guy you are having a fling with will want to take over? WRONG! No guy wants to take care of 2 babies that are not even his. Why don’t you try spicing up the relationship that you already have with you boyfriend and perhaps this help you curve your desire to cheat? Stop being selfish, put yourself in your boyfriend’s shoes and try to see how it would feel if you were him and found out that your significant other was cheating after you have a child with her and was taking care of a child that was not even your responsibility. Good Luck!
2007-03-01 11:29:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about "Grow up." You have two children from two different men, and you're cheating. It sounds like you are more concerned about what is fun for you than what is best for your children. That sounds like a serious maturity issue.
Start at the basics. Put your kids first and let "What is best for my children?" be the guide in making your decisions. Don't be the woman who chooses slutty behavior over her children's best interests. Just don't be that woman.
If you need help, get yourself to church and LISTEN.
Every day you make a choice. You can choose to be a good woman who puts her family first, or you can choose to be a cheap tramp. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but sometimes, you just have to call it what it is.
I'm thinking you want to be a good woman, or you wouldn't ask for help. I really hope you make the right choice. Be strong.
2007-03-01 11:23:59 · answer #4 · answered by renee_kovach 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What, do you want to get pregnant from a third guy? And then you can have three sperm donors under your belt? You need to appreciate this guy that was willing to take on another mans kid and be there for his own! You need to ask yourself why are you so selfish? Why would you risk your current relationship? That's a big slap in your current mans face. It doesn't sound like he deserves this, and it doesn't sound like you deserve him. Learn to have a little self-control. Cheating was your word, either way, you are being disloyal, but you already knew that.
2007-03-01 11:28:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uuugghh...I think the "just flirting, kissing, dinner, movies,lunch...etc." is going to hurt your good man just as bad as sex would.
2007-03-01 11:31:15 · answer #6 · answered by Sleek 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, stop and think, what goes around comes around and karma is not going to be on your side. How would you feel if u found out he was doing the same? betrayed? You need to be thinking more about your kids and how they need him in their lives and whats he gonna do if he finds out? probably leave and how will that break your childrens heart! step back and take a reality check! whats more important, your babies, or your fun? dont b selfish.
2007-03-01 11:23:44 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you think commitment means? To me, commitment means that you do what you say you are going to do regardless of the consequences.
Consequences - every action you take has consequences, for good or bad. What you are doing, whether he knows about it or not, has consequences.
What kind of example do you want to be for your children? Are you so selfish that you can't see that they are watching you and that every action you take is believed by them to be the right thing to do.
Let me play you a tape here:
"Mommy, where did daddy go?"
Most men don't like a woman that sleeps around on them when they are supposedly in a long-term, committed, monogamous relationship.
I don't approve of what you are doing. I think you are setting yourself up for a terrible divorce and if you are the one screwing around the children could go to him. Is that what you really want?
FP
2007-03-01 11:22:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel...I have been there. And I had SO MUCH FUN TOO. And I thought it would be no problem to get over...but it ended ugly,my heart was broken. I am lucky my husband never found out. I now carry a lot of guilt about it. Don't think that you won't; I did'nt, and I was wrong.
2007-03-01 11:21:35 · answer #9 · answered by desertskieswoman 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think your a douche-bag. With selfish concerns. A loser that cares about no one but her own selfish, one-side self. If you believe in a higher power, you know you are doomed, and will pay dearly in H***. There's only a few gifts that God gives you, and you are destroying two of them. The last one is life, then YOUR suffering starts.
2007-03-01 11:25:58 · answer #10 · answered by "El Padrino" 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
life isnt a bed of roses..and lifes not all about fun girl...
u should stop cheating on your guy immediatley..you have 2 kids..and u should think more about how this could affect then if ur guy finds out what your doing behind your back!!!
u shouldnt have done this..but everybody makes mistakes...but now its time to start over...k..be good..no more cheating..coz u never realize..what uve got until its gone..take my advice
2007-03-01 11:23:23 · answer #11 · answered by pussycat 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋