sizzle sensual slum
delightful dedicated deciever
wind torn wind swept winded of life
down down down
gradul decline
Rome fell
Do do I
2007-03-01 11:16:26 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
anyone who stars this is nuts
2007-03-01 13:15:54 · update #1
that reminds me of poet night at a cafe..I am imagining you now with a cigg dangling from your mouth ashes strewn out over the floor,spitting out the words
2007-03-01 11:35:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st of al u need 2 check ur spelling.
2nd, u need 2 make sure that everything goes together. 2 u it might make sense but if u want a broader audience you ahve to make it sound more believable, give us something to relate to. it can still be cognitive but make sure it makes sense to the reader who doesn't kno what ur trying to say....i dont like ln 1, 6, and 7 doesn't makes sense unless u change it to "so do i"
2007-03-01 11:22:18 · answer #2 · answered by kbeauty 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow...I especially like the first 2 lines and the rest ain`t bad either..it`s a little deep, a little prophetic and shows your true self I believe..good job..keep going
2007-03-01 11:27:15 · answer #3 · answered by heather h 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While I like a little alliteration in my literature, a little goes a long way.
2007-03-01 11:22:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even better than the first (which I've forgotten). Then again I've downed even more Scotch than your first poem. You just get better and better.....
2007-03-01 11:20:53 · answer #5 · answered by zp055att 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
nope
sizzling slum
delighting dedicated deceivers
wind....torn
wind....swept
.....winded....of life
--down
----down
-------down
gradual...ly
de
-cline
ROME fell!
do....do I?
2007-03-01 11:45:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could use some work but you are getting there.
2007-03-01 11:22:20 · answer #7 · answered by Star of Florida 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
conans poem better
i love my girlfriend i love her best
i love her best when she's undressed.
i do her standing ,sitting or lying if she had wings i would do her flying.
and when she's dead and all forgotten
i'll dig her grave and do her rotten
2007-03-01 11:24:53 · answer #8 · answered by conan 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
down down down
☺
2007-03-01 11:28:56 · answer #9 · answered by Headfirst For Halos 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i liked it alot
i understood it perfectly
and i knew what you were trying to say
2007-03-01 11:24:48 · answer #10 · answered by Paige N 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋