Can people change their ways?

Question

I broke up with my bf a couple of weeks ago cos I could no longer handle him constantly telling me what was wrong with me, the things I do wrong and always having errands to run for him. I love him but it all became too much with no appreciation whatsoever.
We talked about it and he said he had been a selfish pig and would change his ways - that he would do anything to get me back and to be in his life forever.
We got back together and everything was great but now a whole week (;) ) later it is going sour.
He has stopped listening to what I say and has gone back to thinking that he is right about everything.

In your opinion did he just say all the things I wanted to hear to get me back or is he just struggiling to change his ways?

I know that a week isn't very long for someone to change but he told me that the person he had been in the last 4 months was not really him and that he could be better.
I guess if he really was a nice caring guy a week is plenty of time to show me that

Answer 1

This guy seems like a someone who has to always be right. If you are seeing red flags now, it is good to just get out of the relationship. You can't stay in this hopefully he will change, because he has to be willing to change himself. You can't change him. Don't know why you even got back with him, if he hasn't made any changes. Ok, so he hasn't changed, what's your next move?

It could be that you have yourself a good manipulater as a boyfriend. Yes, someone who just says things you want to hear just to make things better, but it will not be better, but only get worse if you are still with him. Don't you now see that he hasn't gotten any better at all? Another wards, don't believe what he tells you, they are just words you want to hear or don't want to hear.

Answer 2

Face up to it - he is a user of women. He says and does anything he can to get what he wants. If he could change I seriously doubt he wants to or will! Why should he if he can lie to you and continue to have you running back for more/ You will find many guys that are the same way. When they show that behavior to begin with - run don't walk to the nearest exit and don't come back.

PS. Don't judge all guys by this jerks actions - men just like women are not all alike. There are good ones and bad ones in both sexes.

Answer 3

People can change their ways. But to know if its true, I think there needs to be consistent action over a certain amount of time. (More than a week!!!) I think sometimes guys say what we want to hear because that placates us. We want to beleive them, so we give them another chance. Stand up for yourself and tell him the issues you have. Give him an ultimatum - action or you're done. Maybe even take a break during this time to see if he's really willing. If he's willing, he'll change. Good luck!

Answer 4

I don't want to sound mean...but I gotta keep it real. He just missed his errand girl. So he said what he knew you wanted to hear to get you back. Now, I do think people can change, but it's rare. They only change if they really want to (probably if something life altering happens) not because a girlfriend doesn't like the way he acts. Believe me...I learned this the hard way. People rarely change and he has showed you his true colors.

Answer 5

I think your boyfriend may see things your way and probably meant his apology. However, he knows you and how to get to you and probably said what he said to just make you get off his back and move on. People can change their ways and you can help him. Stop doing the things you do for him and show him you mean business. As much as you want to do things for him don't. If you are planning on staying with him for your future you must show him you are a woman of your word and that he can not manipulate you. Possibly he tells you all the things you do wrong and the things wrong with you because his mommy is doing that to him, or some family member. He then treats you that way because thats the way he is treated.

Answer 6

sorry, he is not going to change only long enough to get you to come back to him,be careful in a situation like this because he will not change and sounds like he could be a little abusive later on by the way you say you do all the things you do for him and he has no appreciation seems almost as though he thinks that is something you have to do in order to get along with him,i believe i would look for someone that WOULD appreciate you

Answer 7

I think he wanted you back, and is also somewhat trying to change his ways. A strange mixture of both, but essentially I think he just wants to keep you. Give it another month if you can stand it. If he's really trying to change, after a month you should see some progress (it doesn't happen overnight)

Answer 8

I think it depends on where they are in their emotional maturity. If it is important to him, he will change. He has to reach a breaking point with himself. No one can change because someone else wants them to, they have to want to change for themselves.When a person wants to truly change they will do it and they will not let anyone stop them. It is a battle of the will. People stop smoking when they are ready some go back and some never go back. You would be wise to find someone who already has the qualities your looking for .

Answer 9

Yes people can change, but the most work at it and be willing to change. Also people around him/her needs to help the person.

With that being said I think that he might have told you it just to get back together with you.

But bring it up to his attention and say something like, Hey, your being selfish stop it or I will dump you for good. If he stays selfish dump him, and mean it. You need to stick to what you say.

Answer 10

It is hard for people to change their ways. Some will say it is impossible. If you don't let them know you are serious about it then they never will.