With 3 felonies, One count of Arsen, One Count of Threating to commit a crime, and One Count of Domestic Violence. I never Have had Legal problems before in my life, never had any problems with the law or anything, Well nothing happend between my wife, when i went to jail that day, she just didnt want me to leave the house because she thought that i did not want to be with her, all i had talked to her about is having time away from one another. Well she said i tried to kill her and i threatned to burn down the house and kill everyone, or something like that. Well i got out on bail, my freinds from work all pitched in to get me out. Well i dont live with her right now i am staying with a friend, well i want to know is, my Wife keeps telling me that if we live together, and show the court we are working it out and show that we are going to marrige counseling again, that the DA's office will help dorp charges, well i dont feel comfortable being around her, and i am trying to get a lawyer
2007-03-01 10:52:28 · 11 answers · asked by ManWithoutAPlan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
to get through, this right now, i know if i get a lawyer and they investigate this stuff i can get through this,but do i really have to deal with my wife, i mean i dont want to move in with her, or anything like that, so i really dont know what to do in regards to this, and whats right, i mean we were on the rocks before this all happend and now i feel like she is totally ruined my life now.
2007-03-01 10:55:10 · update #1
That is the problem with having a past people can use it against you. Because of your past she is using this to control the situation. Your best bet is to just stay away. You can't trust a woman that would do this to you. A great many women out there use the weight of the the legal system to gain power she would not normally have. You are experience this in your life now.
I have talk with lawyer friends that say using a domestic violence claim is a good way for women to get a man out of the house and control the divorce process. It is a low end tactic but being a woman doesn't mean you have integrity.
Protect yourself at all cost...
2007-03-01 11:03:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probally have to deal with her right now. At least till you are out of the clear. Even if you get a laywer that does not mean that you are going to be fine and everything will work out. Laywers are not God sorry to break it to you. So to answer your question "You do need her and you would be a fool to do this with out her"
The DA probally wont drop the charges, but a judge can drop charges at any time. Espicially if they feel that there is no reason to go on.
If I were you I would do what she wants just to keep her on good terms with you. I would just move back home and keep my distance and see how things go with the case. After the case, probation, whatever come from it-then make your mind up about her-but for now Yes Yes Yes you need her
Think about this how important is your life?? If you dont do this with her you probally wont get the outcome you want lawyer or no lawyer, so I bet the "wife" dosent sound as bad as jail right or never being able to vote, have a home, apartment, job, or anything else. Dont be a fool you need her. Dont forget Lawyers are not God with one or without one your not getting through this without her-so just make her happy and do what she wants. Its the only way to get your life back
2007-03-05 12:23:24 · answer #2 · answered by Jack P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need some help. I think that I can give you some good advice. I have worked for a crimial defense attorney for ten years and I am studying for the bar exam right now.
If your wife is trying to help you be thankful because you do not want her to help the DA. If she helps the DA you will be most likely be looking at some time. You really want her to be on your side and the way that it works is the DA will not drop charges, but the Judge can or he can be easier on you if the both of you are working it out. How long ago did this happen? You really should move back home because the judge will ask her if you guys are living together and if you are not then it will look as if that is her choice.......again you need her to be up there with you holding your hand telling the judge everything is ok. This will help you so much.
When cases such as this come into our office my attorney signs the couple up for marriage therapay ASAP makes it noted that they are living together and has a few close friends make statements stating that the couple is doing well living under one roof, so she is right about you two working it out. Everyone will tell you to file for divorse, BUT THIS IS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU COULD MAKE. Another thing you have to make sure that she stays strong and if you two are seperated she wont be. The DA is going to tear her apart and you need to keep her strong enough to say the right things. Also, you have to keep her love and care for you strong because at this point she can make you or break you.
What it really comes down to is "Would you rather live with her or some 200 pound felon that was convicted of something harsh??"
I can't express how much you need her KEEP HER HAPPY!!!!!!!
1. You need her to testify on your behalf -you need her to say that you are a good person
2. You need her to talk to your attorney
3. You need her to talk to the investigator
4. You need her to tell the Judge she does not want to proceed, but if you guys are not together or not living together then she has no reason to do these things. Dont make her made because you need her. I dont know your wife, but I doubt that she coud be worst then jail
Another thing keep in mind the following the court will look at her and judge her to. This could go against you or work in your favor.
How does she carry herself?
What kind of job does she have?
Is she educated?
Is she pregnanat?
Is she beautiful? (The jury will pitty her if they can remember her and is she beatiful then they will remeber her) If there is a wife that is pretty we ask her not to keep her hair down or wear makeup to court.
So overall if she is someone that seems credible then you really need her on your side.
Take my advise move back home, do whatever she wants and have her help you. Don't upset her because you need her to stay out of jail. Most states favor the women. Also, don't help her lose love or care for you-you really need her to go up there and tell the judge that she dosent want to proceed. So staying away from her is the biggest mistae you can makle.
Another thing you need to focus on the outcome of the case and I have personally seen people walk away with nothing or probation when they come in with thier wifes on there side, but on the other side I have seen a lot of people go to jail because there wifes were against them. Count your blessings that she is on your side just keep it that way keep her happy. Maybe you guys will get through this and be happy. This does happen a lot, but if you guys dont. Dont leave her until after everything is done probation and all.
Good Luck to the both of you. If you need any more help you can e-mail me at rpopelaw@yahoo.com
2007-03-04 00:01:19 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a lot of problems,don't trust her to drop charges, the courts don't care if you work it out, the court wants to know what the evidence is in your case, and if its only her word, that is she had no bruises to photograph, there wasn't any fire, and no one heard you say you would set the house on fire or kill her then it becomes a he said/she said thing. If on the other hand she has evidence, you need a lawyer. No one is going to drop arson charges because you and your wife kiss and make up. Get a divorce as soon as you can because if your story is true, shes a class A nut job and next time you will end up rooming with a mean man without woman for ten-twenty years.
2007-03-01 19:02:07 · answer #4 · answered by justa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well I am truly sorry but listen to me and read this. Two years ago my wife called the cops on me. I did hit her, but she made it seem worst than what it actually was. You say that you do not live her right now. That is the worst thing that you can do and my father is an attorney so I know. The court will think that she is scared of you and they will be harder on you. You need to over the top great with her because even if you do get an attorney and they investigate IT IS STILL HER WORD AGAINST YOURS SO GIVE HER WHATEVER SHE WANTS RIGHT NOW and worry about everything else later.
After 72 hours of jail my friend I came home made up with my wife and we battled this together. I know that if we did not do this together than I would have still been in jail at least for 6 months or so. So yes you do need to talk to her and yes your chance will be better in the court room. you still need her.
I wasn't sure if things were going to work with my wife and I I was so angry with her, but seeing her help me made me think twice about her and we are still together and she is 3 months pregnant now, but in your case I don't know if you two will have a happy ending BUT ALL IKNOW IS YOU NEED HER RIGHT NOW TO GET THOUGHT THIS
2007-03-03 22:08:18 · answer #5 · answered by Mike S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF there wasn't a fire (sure she didn't set one b/f the officers got there?), no witnesses and no evidence of violence (she could have broken stuff, turned furniture over, etc, to make it look like a big fight), then there really isn't a case.
You DO need a good attorney - don't go for that "the court will provide you" BS. Pay whatever you need to so this mess doesn't go any further. AND your criminal attorney and divorce attorney should not be one and the same - get someone who specializes in criminal law for the felony charges, and someone who specializes in divorce for the divorce proceedings - and pay top dollar for both, b/c the divorce atty can make her life freakin' miserable as payback from your end.
As for you, personally, don't have ANYTHING to do with her - and don't say anything about her to anyone! If you don't have something nice to say about someone, keep your mouth SHUT!
2007-03-01 19:13:22 · answer #6 · answered by Johnna L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do don't move back in with her. Maybe you should try getting a recording of her on the phone or an email admitting that she lied. Ask something like why did you lie about me and have me arrested if all I wanted was a separation? Get her to reply and once you have her voice on tape bring it to a lawyer and you can prove what she did. Don't tell her you are recording her or that you have a lawyer.
Stay away from her though. She is capable of anything.
2007-03-01 19:36:24 · answer #7 · answered by alygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like trouble to me. STAY away from her. Stay with Your friend and it You innocent of the charges against You, it will come out in the wash. If You don't feel comfortable being around her then that's all the reason to stay away from her. Get Your life back together. Sounds like this "wife" didn't work out.. Don't think about "wife" right now.. think about Your "life". It's short and can change in a moment. Get a lawyer and follow his legal counsel.
good luck!!
2007-03-01 19:05:22 · answer #8 · answered by kasi B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a real psycho!! Get your lawyer and please dont move back in with her. You might end up dead. Since this is your first time being in trouble they will go easy on you. But I would definately try to prove you are innocent. Please stay far away from her!!
2007-03-01 19:08:00 · answer #9 · answered by HOT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might have to deal with your wife until you get out of trouble if there is no other way, you'll have to figure it out for yourself, that is quite a few charges to be false, if you can prove they are false then you might be able to get out of trouble without dealing with your wife
2007-03-01 18:59:27 · answer #10 · answered by Wendy C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋