The condensed version of the story... Father walked away when I was born. Didn't want a child, understandable for a young single man I guess. Refused to acknowledge me or my mother.... until I was 23. Suddenly I get a random letter... a couple emotionless emails... then nothing again for the last year or two!!
Can you ever forgive them? Can you learn to love them as a person when you associate them with pain for you and your mom? Does the feeling of rejection and abandonment ever go away?
Serious answer only please.
2007-03-01 10:19:58 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Same scenario. My dad walked out when I was a baby. Met him for the first time when I was 22.
Didnt turn out so great, and we both decided we regretted ever meeting eachother.
I dont feel that way anymore. I havent seen or heard from him in 2 years.
I forgive him. He is his own person with his own mistakes that he has to face everyday. I dont blame him or hate him for abandoning me. I am actually gratefull because I got a wonderful step-dad out of it. My life would have been terrible if my biological father would have stuck around.
As for learning to love him.......I feel no need to. Just because he is my bio. father doesnt mean I have to love him. I have no feelings like that for him. I have a great respect and admiration for the person he is (however "messed up").
And that's about it.
Dont feel abandoned or rejected. Everything happens for a reason. And when a father walks away, it's not personal. It wasnt because he didnt like you. I'm sure you turned out to be a great person and things may have turned out different if he would have stayed. Who knows.
He has to deal with his mistake. Not you.
2007-03-01 10:33:26 · answer #1 · answered by A 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My father also bailed when I was born. I am 24 and I have no ambition to meet him. One time I looked up his mother's phone number and called and she was a witch, so I stopped. I was 19 at the time. I figure the guy must be a total loser to be 40 years old and still live with mommy and daddy.
It will only go away when you realize that he probably had nothing to offer you and the best thing he could have done for you was to walk away.
Good Luck!
2007-03-01 18:37:54 · answer #2 · answered by tara b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My father was not there for me, left when I was 7, but if he was there or came back in an attempt to so the love and understanding that I needed all those years and I didn't feel like he was working a con but really sincere I would give him a real try but cautious. Good luck!
2007-03-01 18:38:49 · answer #3 · answered by Donna M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Same situation, my dad walked out when i was a baby, he tryed to reunite with me when i was 22, no i didnt start any relationship with him. he wasnt there for my first smile, or step, or prek, or graduation for that matter, he never supported my mom. i believe people can change, and i believe in god and i believe in fogiving people. but this is something ive never been able to do. i never want to meet him and i dont want my children to either.
2007-03-01 22:58:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT NEVER GOES AWAY, THE PAIN IS ALWAYS ACUTE, YOU HAVE TO CONTROL IT FOREVER AND MOVE IT TO A SAFE SPOT IN YOUR FEELING WHERE YOU HAVE STRENGTH AT TIME WHEN IT APPEARS TO WANT TO HURT YOU OR CONTROL U, IT HAS TO BE THERE CAUSE IT FILLS THE EMPTY SPOT THAT HURTS AND THERE IS NO MOVING IN OUR WHOLE LIFE TO A LOCATION THAT IS PAIN FREE, YOU ALWAYS HURT FROM IT AND IT WILL BE IN ME TO WHEN ALL THING THAT HURT WILL AT LAST KILL ME AND I WILL END THE SUFFERING OF NOT BEING ABLE TO HIDE FROM ALL THE THINGS IN THE WORLD THAT ARE WRONG, BUT WE CAN'T CHANGE THEM EITHER, PUSHING U UP, HOPE YOU ARE STRONG, TRY TO FIND SOME SMALL HAPPINESS IN LIFE AND THAT IS ABOUT ALL THAT GETS BETTER, TO CARRY THE LOAD
2007-03-01 19:18:45 · answer #5 · answered by bev 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most women are seriously affected by their relationship with their father. You will probably have difficulties with men for your lifetime unless you get help. I know this because whenever I have dated a women that has a bad/no relationship with her real father she has given me problems.
2007-03-01 18:26:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋