I am a 51 year old man and i have a really good woman friend that is 63 years old. we enjoy being with each-other and doing things together. I really care about this woman and i would do almost anything for her. I know she feels the same about me. But, she keeps saying that the age is of concern. I would like other opinions on this from you. should i keep trying or let her go?
2007-03-01 10:11:58 · 66 answers · asked by smilingdick 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This women is also my landlady and we live in the same house with nothing but a wall between us. so does it make any difference
2007-03-03 07:47:03 · update #1
i would also like to add that i have been in prison for the past 23 years and this is the first woman that i have been around and that i have fallen for. She keeps telling me that she just wants us to be friends and i keep telling her how i feel. she say's if she was younger she would not have a problem. should i still proceed courting her because i know that she really does care about me and we do romantic things together and also go out together to dinner and movies,walks and ride bikes etc. I need help. what should i do.
2007-03-03 14:02:38 · update #2
I would just keep things the way they are. Why mess up a good thing. You say ya'll enjoy things together and you live that close together. just give it time and if its meant to be then it will happen...back off the relationship issue...be her friend and be there for her and she will see this....
2007-03-07 03:55:14 · answer #1 · answered by txO3blueeyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My gut instinct whe I read this, is that she's using the age difference as an excuse to not date you because she fears something else that she's unwilling to tell you about right now. She's either nervous about being with you because you just got out of prison, or she's afraid of intimacy, or of what people might say or think. I suggest you ask her if she's afraid of something, and then listen to what she says. In the meantime, just continue being there for her, but don't be TOO available either. She needs to realize that she may miss you if you're not around. So occupy yourself with a hobby. Be gone more than you have been. Trust me she'll start to wonder where you are, why you're not with her, and if she feels the same way about you as you do about her, she'll come around sooner or later. Take it slowly. I'd be nervous too. Good Luck!
2007-03-09 07:14:31 · answer #2 · answered by Aims4usa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been in Prison that long, you must have done something really bad. First of all, I think this woman just wants to be friends with you. She does not want to hurt your feelings, but the age thing at this point is probably just an excuse. One cannot simply disregard your past and I am sure it bothers her alot. The best thing for you to do, is get out and meet other people closer to your age. Just maintain your friendship with her, but keep it at that.
2007-03-09 06:14:40 · answer #3 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something's not right here...if she were interested in you like that (romantically), she'd already let things happen along those lines. For some reason she's not wanting to take your relationship to the next level. Back off and don't press the issue. Wait to see if she makes a move later. If not, then you need to just accept being friends and move on to someone else that does want more than friendship with you.
2007-03-08 14:47:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being that I have been the older one in all my relationships I can understand her concern. My fiancee' is 10 years younger then me which had me concerned for about a minute. Tell her to live everyday as if it were her last, to not think so for ahead or about what other people think. She'll be able to tell if you are sincere about your feelings, and if she's feels as strong towards you then there should be nothing stopping you two from being happy! Don't deprive yourself of something that sometimes takes a lifetime to find!
2007-03-01 10:27:32 · answer #5 · answered by MedicineWoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really believe that you are as young as you feel. My longest relationship lasted twenty years and he was 12 years my junior. Sure, there will be some problems, but this is true in any relationship. If you care about each other sincerely-go for it! Tell her not to be afraid because it just might be an enduring relationship. BTW, I still maintain a great relationship with my ex. He says that I am the love of his life.
2007-03-01 10:21:02 · answer #6 · answered by worldwise1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she can’t get over it there is nothing you can do, it’s her issue. I don’t think many people would see that much of a difference at your age as a problem, I wouldn’t. But still it’s up to her really. Just try to get her to see the light, but don’t throw her out there to get sunburnt. Slow and easy, she will come around if she really likes you. I have been in 30 year age difference relationships an the only problem we ever had was other peoples problems.
2007-03-01 10:20:36 · answer #7 · answered by Mesa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, in my opinion she isn't too old for you. As long as both of you are both in tune with the others feelings and wellbeing there sh ouldnt be a problem. Clearly you both are old enough to make mature, rational and wise decisions so age shouldn't matter at all. I am not sure why she would think you were too young for her? She should be happy that a 51 year old man wants someone who is 12 years his senior.
Good Luck to you both
2007-03-01 10:26:28 · answer #8 · answered by krYpToNitEsMoM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh don't you dare let her go. You want to tell her there will never be a day when you will find her anything less then beautiful. You should also tell her that you want to be there and enjoy everyday you are together. That there isnt any certainty in life that we have to take it day by day and enjoy it to the fullest. You should tell her she makes you feel alive and that you never want to let her go. Dance with her to some beautiful slow dance and whisper you have a gift and hand her a nice piece of jewellry to tell her that this whatever is a token to represent your sureness of your heart and the joy she brings you within..(I am a tad of a romantic but I believe in love) so go for it and enjoy her. Its hard to find chemistry in life so you are lucky.
2007-03-01 10:19:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She feels insecure regarding the age gap, she probably will always feel that you can leave her at anytime for a younger female. If you really think this is the one, by all means go for it and remind her that the age difference is not an obstacle for you. My opinion: You are both old enough to know what you want and your age difference is irrelevant at your present age.
2007-03-09 05:01:04 · answer #10 · answered by Abby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋