what to do....... please help?

Question

if you think you might be gay, what should you do? i'm not sure but don't know how to tell, however if i think i might be gay should i talk to someone, if so who, because i would want to talk to someone completely anonymous. also how do you meet other gay girls who you might get on with. but my other problem is how do i come to terms with it if i am gay because i don't think i want to be, but also want to be ahppy, cos am quite down at the moment, and i think would cheer me up to be with someone
advice appreciated thanks

Answer 1

Very few people are over the moon when they first find out they're gay. They come to terms with it, embrace it even - but at first it's very scary - suddenly you're forced to question almost every aspect of how you thought you'd live your life.

Don't leap into a decision about your sexuality. You don't actually ever have to decide one way or the other, regardless of what some people might tell you. Why don't you call the gay and lesbian switchboard for your area for advice, or have a look at some of the many lesbian and bisexual orientated websites out there, where you can chat to people in a safe and anonymous environment?

And if you ARE gay, it's not really a question of making yourself come to terms with it. It will happen organically as you get talking to other people in your shoes.

Whatever happens, I hope you find a bit of happiness soon. good luck.

Answer 2

You sound like you're lonely, not gay. If you dont think you want to be... Chances are, you're not.

You need to socialise more, I know it can be difficult for many reasons ( god knows I struggle to socialise ), but once you meet a freind, a real friend, then youre feelings of loneleyness will pass.

Once youre not feeling lonely anymore, maybe it would be a good time to take stock of your emotions, and work out what you really want from a relationship deep down, and who can provide that for you a man, or a woman ?

I have to warn you, I've been sitting on the fence for years... I want the romance and security and to a degree the sexuality of a man loving me, but I want the tenderness, togetherness, fun and the beauty of a woman to be in love with too. Work it out while youre young, and enjoy the rest of your life. It's too short to sit around wondering if you made the right choices... Go for it, if it's wrong for you... You'll know, likewiase if it's right... you'll be happy !

Answer 3

You will KNOW if you are gay. Just stop and think about it very hard. Think about a sexily dressed man, then a sexily dressed women. Which one would you like to get physically involved with. Which one would you like to touch and be touched by, sexually that is?

If the answer is "both of them", then you're probably a bi sexual. If the answer is "neither", then you should get some pets for company. (And NO, I'm not suggesting you have sex with animals just that everyone needs company)

Answer 4

Seek out the scene. Find out where they frequent. Meet people. just enjoy the fun and don't worry about becoming gay. Keep things to yourself and others like you that you know. Just turn it into a fun thing. Everything else will take care of itself and then you will not have to decide because you will be what you are.
Whatever that will be.

Answer 5

You just have to follow your feelings and try to be happy.
This is the only life you have and so you need to make sure you make the most of it.
There is nothing wrong if you are gay, many people are and they live prefectly normal lives, they have love and success.
Do not be afraid, be free!
If you need someone to talk to, send me a note.

Answer 6

Nobody actually wants to be gay! we just are,you certainly wouldn't choose to put yourself through all this!
Try picking up a copy of Diva magazine (available at all good newsagent WH.Smiths,Borders etc) it has lots of listings for support groups etc. and also lists places where you can meet other lesbians. You will find lots of helplines,counsellors,groups in Diva for your area.

Answer 7

You might want to reassess everything when you're not feeling quite down... then you would be able to view things in their proper perspective.

May the force be with you!

Answer 8

"It’s so wonderful being a gay person. I said that before. I’m going to say it again. I love being gay. And I love gay people. I think we’re better than other people. I really do. I think we’re smarter and more talented and more aware and I do, I do, I totally do. And I think we’re more tuned in to what’s happening, tuned into the moment, tuned into our emotions, and other people’s emotions, and we’re better friends. I really do think all of these things. And I try not to forget them."

-Larry Kramer


"Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood. This sets the stage for further repression and violence that spread all too easily to victimize the next minority group."

"Gay and lesbian people have families, and their families should have legal protection, whether by marriage or civil union. A constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages is a form of gay bashing and it would do nothing at all to protect traditional marriage."

"I still hear people say that I should not be talking about the rights of lesbian and gay people.... But I hasten to remind them that Martin Luther King Jr. said, 'Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.' I appeal to everyone who believes in Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream, to make room at the table of brotherhood and sisterhood for lesbian and gay people."

Mrs. King said that her late husband Martin Luther King Jr. supported the quest for equality by gays and said that the 1963 March on Washington was organized by Bayard Rustin, an openly gay civil rights activist.

-Coletta Scott King (wife to Martin Luther King Jr.)


"Jesus did not say, 'If I be lifted up I will draw some'." Jesus said, 'If I be lifted up I will draw all, all, all, all, all. Black, white, yellow, rich, poor, clever, not so clever, beautiful, not so beautiful. It's one of the most radical things. All, all, all, all, all, all, all, all. All belong. Gay, lesbian, so-called straight. All, all are meant to be held in this incredible embrace that will not let us go. All."

"Isn't it sad, that in a time when we face so many devastating problems – poverty, HIV/AIDS, war and conflict – that in our Communion we should be investing so much time and energy on disagreement about sexual orientation?" [The Communion, which] "used to be known for embodying the attribute of comprehensiveness, of inclusiveness, where we were meant to accommodate all and diverse views, saying we may differ in our theology but we belong together as sisters and brothers" now seems "hell-bent on excommunicating one another. God must look on and God must weep."

Since then Dr. Tutu has increased his criticism of conservative attitudes to homosexuality within his own church, equating homophobia with racism. Stating at a conference in Nairobi that he is "deeply disturbed that in the face of some of the most horrendous problems facing Africa, we concentrate on 'what do I do in bed with whom"

-ArchBishop Desmond Tutu

Answer 9

You don't need to do anything. Don't make an early decision would be my advice

Answer 10

you can be happy, if you choose to be happy.. its just a matter of action taken from your decision.