she is married with child for 4 years....they got married because she was pregnant...but he started neglecting her and denying her fundamental rights...like wouldn't let her hav a bank acocunt...he signed papers for her...controlling man....much older than her....then she meets some guy divorced and starts having an affiar with him...he treats her great and supports her ideals so they say...now the husband finds out...and gets her into counseling...then he all of a sudden is doing an about face with her...treating her nice...but she has maybe lost it for him and the marriage from all the years of controlling....waht does one do to help...or not...and what does the wife do in her situation...apparently she really (so it is told by mutual friends) loves this guy...and he openly said he loves her...what a mess....any opinions? The nieghborhood is trying not to take sides to keep some peace....but they know how she has been treated...never physical violence...he's not the type....
2007-03-01 09:57:51 · 13 answers · asked by RealEYES 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not involved in the personals....I am in the neighborhood and yes we are concerned about the welfare of the child....this space doesn't alwasy allow for ALL of the information here....BIG thing around is about the child!
2007-03-01 10:07:16 · update #1
I am not certain whom I side with here...I know she has been abused and he is controlling for his own personal desires...I don't agree withthe affair or relationship...some others don't also...and everyone is worried about the child...the husband is suppoprting the therapy to MAYBE fix things...maybe he realized he messed up with her...but why did it take an affair for him to get off his a#$ and treat her well after all this time...because he is afraid to lose his much younger wife perhaps?
2007-03-01 10:12:27 · update #2
Stay out of it. If she got pregnant by a much older man who is controlling, she didn't get married blindly. Now she's cheating, so that says even more about the kind of woman she is. The only innocent victim is the child-- too bad the neighborhood doesn't protect the child, but instead gossips about the sex.
2007-03-01 10:03:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the husband is probably just making a 360 because he doesnt want her to leave him. it all depends and you have to judge his character to see if thats the case or if he realized that she needs love and care and not a father figure.
either way, you shouldnt get TOO involved with this even if she is a good friend to you. help her where and when she needs it, but let her make the final decision. give advice, guidance and just be there for her to fall back on. DONT whisper when she walks by or spread rumors or any of that high school bullsh*t, because it will make her feel so much worse. like i said - just be there for her.
i know this is a serious situation but i just cant resist;
like a good neighbor, state farm is there.
if she REALLY, TRULY LOVES this man, then i would suggest a separation (not necessarily a divorce) from her current husband. she also has to take the child into consideration. im assuming that the child is around 3 or 4 years old so it shouldnt be a very difficult situation "separating".
YOU MAY NOT THINK HE'S THE TYPE;;;
but ive seen a lot of cases where the father had a very high rank in the community, handsome, charitable, friendly, all around nice guy, and because of the stress of putting on that act for everyone, he comes home and takes it out on his family.
2007-03-01 18:19:57 · answer #2 · answered by looking for love this time 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the neighborhood would do well to mind their own business,im quite sure if not their hidden skeletons might be brought up it is no ones business but theirs why are you asking,i suspect if she wanted help off of questions and answers she would ask,it might not be a good idea to be asking questions about her personal life she may not feel the same as anyone else her affairs are her own,if she ask you for help then i would suggest finding out what will make her happy and let her know i was her friend and ready to listen or help if i could
2007-03-01 18:13:16 · answer #3 · answered by loveChrist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the husband who abused her may want to change but chances are its just because he now sees that there is competition and someone else is vieing for her attentions. if she loves him i can understand why, but she needs to get a divorce first and proceed. the husband may have lost her love and therapy may not bring it back. he is only feeling this because now he sees someone else sees worth in her, and as soon as the other man is out of the picture he will return to being the same nasty abusive controlling man.
2007-03-01 18:30:01 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhhhh, the do good er of the neighborhood and her entourage age. You and your cronies need to stay to heck out of someone Else's businesss. Period. was- is- never will be any of your busines.. Oh yes, your big concern is for the child- NOTits just your excuse to put your nose in where it does not belong.
2007-03-01 20:19:48 · answer #5 · answered by sylviavnpttn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you all should mind ur own buisness, find a hobby. Unless this child is in danger...stay out of it. People getting into other peoples buisness, can ruin a marraige, ultimatly causing mental harm to a child. Please mind ur own buisness, unless the child is really in danger.
2007-03-01 18:11:13 · answer #6 · answered by combodeal2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't get involved! Trust me I know from experience friends don't last long in this situation.
2007-03-01 18:23:44 · answer #7 · answered by Lizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the woman needs to decide who she wants to be with ant the neighbors need to keep out of her business....unless she asks for specific help.
2007-03-01 18:06:57 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The neighborhood needs to mind their own busness and stay out of it.
2007-03-01 18:02:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of this. You will come out covered in crap no matter how good your intentions.
I have a feeling you have designs on someone here....
2007-03-01 18:02:38 · answer #10 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋