The other night I found out that he had been emailing a girl that he had a "relationship" with while we were broken up for a while. Mind you this was two years ago, but I had asked him not to speak with her and two days ago I found out he's still talking to her after our wedding. She made fun of my wedding, she told him she loved him... I'm not okay with this! I don't know if I'm irrational and I should forgive him completely or even how to deal with it. Oh and the real kicker is this: The bottom of one of his emails says "Gotta go before the wife knows I'm talking to you (but since we're just friends... to hell with her!)." I'm beyond upset!
2007-03-01 09:48:49 · 21 answers · asked by momofthreemiracles 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I had him spill the beans and he seemed honest that since she likes him, he is kinda mean about me to her because he doesn't want to make her feel bad. (I don't know how much of THAT I really believe). I blocked her from his myspace and emailed her personally to tell her to keep away.
2007-03-01 09:56:42 · update #1
You need to confront your husband with the evidence you have. He has been lying to you. Tell him to choose you or her that you are not going to share him with anyone. Give him a chance to come clean with exactly what is going on. If he has just been talking to her as friends then you should try to forgive him, but only if he stops talking to her. He is being disrespectful to you not only by talking to her in the first place but also by what he said at the end of his email.
2007-03-01 09:55:41 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's time to put your emotions aside and be logical. Is this right what your husband is doing...No....and its been two years since you two got married. And he obviously has a thing for this chick. And I am being nice by calling her a chick. He is being disrespectful and she definitely does care about you. He is allowing this to continue because you are allowing it to happen. You are aware of his behavior, so what are you going to do? Are you going to beg and plead for him to stop, or give him an ultimatum? What is your next step? Obviously he does not care about your feelings. He has made that quite evident. So again what are you going to do? The ball is in your court. Does he want his marriage? If he does he has to respect your feelings and he is not. Good luck. And really think about what is happening now and what will probably happen in the future. From my view...it does not look so hot.
2007-03-01 18:03:57 · answer #2 · answered by DJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to ask your husband to be honest with you. Does he want to be with you or her. Apparently he doesn't respect you enough to leave this person in his past. And there may be more to the relationship that even he is willing to admit...
Hug..and good luck...
Please don't fall for that. He should be more concern about his wife's feelings than an old friend. If he reallys loves you he would cease all contact with this person because it is causing conflict in the marriage...
2007-03-01 17:54:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some wise person said: It is better to have 1000 adversaries outside than one inside. It looks like your husband has divided loyalties and none too much of it directed towards you, if he allows the other woman to mock and ridicule you.
You are angry now but wait until you can think dispassionately about your future with a husband who has no backbone.
If you cannot trust your husband, whom can you trust?
2007-03-01 18:03:05 · answer #4 · answered by Freddy F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is disrespecting u, and the other woman is still interested in him. he is sneaking around behind your back, and will eventually cheat on u if u can't work this out with him. when we are married we should not have to share him with anyone. to hell with u he says, well it usually means that he really doesn't respect u or value the marriage all that much. he also doesn't seem to care about the consequences.
2007-03-01 17:55:26 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Er. No, you should not forgive him. Normally I'm for trying to work things out, but the e-mail said it all. "to hell with her!"
You are NOT important to him. I don't like the divorce rate to go higher but obviously this man does not take your feelings/thoughts nor marriage vows seriously. Move on, with dignity. You still have some, he doesn't.
2007-03-01 17:57:18 · answer #6 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
serious advice, >> dont believe that bit you got in 'additional details', this must stop or it will eat away at the foundations of your relationship. how would he feel if you were in contact flirting with an ex-boyfirned? you must deal with it. dont accept this, kevinj above is right, and so are the girls, youve got some good advice here, its upto you now, good luck but stay calm and keep your dignity at all times
2007-03-01 18:16:42 · answer #7 · answered by fast eddie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not irrational at all. they may just be harmless friends but he should respect you enought not to talk to her. and comments like the ones she made are disrespectful and he should not tolerate that. this is not much to ask since he DID have a relationship with her this is not appropriate at all. he should not be talking to her. approach him again this behavior has to stop. YOU ARE NOT BEING IRRATIONAL. trust ur instincts.
2007-03-01 17:58:04 · answer #8 · answered by jean grey 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ah, he's just goofing off. Could be bad though. I'd put the fear of God into him and he'll either be more careful next time or he won't do it.
Truth is though, he married you. You just need to remember that you're not competing for him. And if he wants to make it a competition, I'd bring another man on the scene just to scare him even more.
2007-03-01 17:58:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
they are being sneaky and mean,you email her and tell her to stay the F away from your husband,no emails phone calls or anything is allowed and make sure your hubby does the same
2007-03-01 17:54:46 · answer #10 · answered by kat_luvr2003 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋